Oh, Bugger
by tradingforeverx
Summary: She was indecisive, he sent mixed signals. They were sure for disaster, but they came together one magical summer after she has to leave her American life behind. But of course, nothing ever came easy with the two of them. New summary, same story. LJ AU.
1. Pretty Pizza Delivery Boys

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Harry Potter, nananana, you know this already. Why would I be spending my time writing fanfiction and lusting after James Potter if I did own it? Gawd.

**AN:** Meh, I probably shouldn't be writing another fic, but we all know that I can't stay with one for too long or I get bored. Plus, I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a while, and I really just had to write it.I hope you like it, though the first few chapters wont be very interesting. I think it's better written than "Beautiful", though, so here's to hoping. Review with what you think about it, please?

**Chapter One: Pretty Pizza Delivery Boys**

"Shit."

Lily Evans was having a hard day. Her father was on a business trip, and wouldn't be back for another three weeks, and her mother was at some kind of convention. They'd left her for the day to take care of her large family; two younger sisters, a baby brother, and all of her cousins, which of course had to all be eleven or younger, and of course there had to be ten of them in total. Normally, she wouldn't have been left with such a job by herself, but her older sister, Petunia, had snarled at her, slammed the door, and drove off in her brand new car. Her older brother, Will, was still at college, and wouldn't be back for summer vacation for another couple of days. This left Lily all alone to take care of the children, which was not an easy feat.

And she really had a craving for pizza.

She'd called and ordered some, but they were obviously running late because it'd been an hour more than it was supposed to have taken. She figured she'd lose her sanity if it didn't come soon.

The doorbell rang and she jumped up, her little brother, Bryce, in her arms. He was giggling and gurgling, trying to attack her earrings with his mouth.

In all truth, he really shouldn't have even been born. Her mother had given birth to him just eight months ago, and at the age of forty-nine, it really wasn't likely to have a good pregnancy, or even get pregnant at all. However, Lily's mother had made it through excellently, even if he was twenty-one years younger than the Evans' oldest child, Will.

After making her way through the mess that had become her living room, she managed to get to her bright blue front door, and swung it open. Outside stood a harassed-looking boy that looked to be about her age. His messy dark brown, almost black, hair fell everywhere, sticking up in awkward angles and sometimes falling into his heaven-sent sparkling hazel eyes. He had black, wire-rimmed rectangular glasses on that somehow seemed to make him all the more handsome. He wore baggy jeans, although they weren't falling off of him and showing off his boxers, and a form-fitting brown, short-sleeved t-shirt.

Shaking his hair out of his eyes, he lifted up the pizza that had been under his arm, and sighed out, "Your dog just tried to kill me."

Lily cocked an eyebrow. "Ruby? Oh, yes, she's just the sweetest thing."

"I can tell," the boy replied, turning around and trying to catch a glimpse of the demon-dog that had almost ripped his pants off. Turning back around with a squeak after Ruby looked over at him and glared–if that's even possible for a dog to do, he didn't know–he again shook his hair and stared at Lily.

He seemed to notice all of the ruckus inside her house, along with the millions of running little kids and their high-pitched screams, because he voiced, "Um...are those all yours?" He then eyed Bryce, who was still trying to get a chance to nibble at Lily's earring, and again scanned what he could see of the room behind her.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Do I look like I just popped out all of these kids?"

"No, not particularly."

A bang, crash, shriek, and then a giggle, was heard from inside the house. Lily groaned and turned her head, trying to see what damage had been done. She saw Taylor, her nine year old cousin, standing next to a vase that lay smashed on the ground.

"Taylor! Do you want me to tell Aunt May what you just did?"

The little girl squeaked out, "No," before running up the stairs.

"Mom's gonna be so pissed," Lily muttered, turning back to the pizza boy.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Are you American?"

"Yeah, I just moved here. Can't you tell by all the boxes?" She was right; her house was filled with boxes. From what she knew the pizza-boy could see, was the beginning of her living room, that had stacks upon stacks of boxes, although some were unpacked. The television sat on top of a box under a window, with a big sofa that had been moved in all but yesterday, sitting directly in front of it. There were a few tables here and there, sitting in the middle of the room only because they hadn't moved them anywhere specific yet, with boxes around and on top of them. She also knew that, although he couldn't see it, the kitchen, dining room, sitting room, and all the rooms upstairs, and even more boxes in them waiting to be unpacked. Since they'd only just moved in the day before, they really hadn't gotten a chance to do much unpacking.

"Yeah, I was wondering why I didn't know you." At Lily's raised eyebrow, he continued, "It's a small town. Everyone knows everyone."

"That's gonna be so much fun," she said sarcastically.

He started to nod, but was interrupted by a voice from where his car was parked. "Oy, Prongs! Hurry up!"

"Prongs?" Lily asked. "Like on the fork? Wow, you must hate your parents."

Giving a little chuckle, he replied, "Nah, it's just a nickname. My name's James."

She nodded. "Lily," she replied, feeling it was only polite.

"Well, here's your pizza." Shifting Bryce onto her shoulder, she took the pizza from his outstretched hand, only slightly drooling before putting it on one of the many tables and trying to find her money. Unable to get a hand into her back pocket and count her money while holding Bryce, she gave this James character a sheepish look, before holding out her baby brother. "Here."

"What?"

"Hold him, I need to get my money."

"Um, okay."

Knowing that her parents would kill her for letting a stranger hold onto their little boy, she hurried to get her money. Counting out the correct price and nice tip, she looked up to see James holding Bryce as far away as his arms would allow. Bryce's legs dangled under him, but he was giggling, and drool was coming out of the side of his mouth.

"Hey, little guy," James muttered, trying to be soothing, and bending and unbending his knees, which caused Bryce to giggle even more.

Apparently she wasn't the only one who noticed, because just as a laugh was bubbling in her throat, she heard a bark of laughter from the car. The car door opened, and bounced out another boy, who came up behind James.

It was a toss up who was better looking. This new boy had neat and shaggy hair at the same time, though it was pulled back into a low ponytail. Some feathers of hair fell into his gray-blue eyes, giving off a very elegant look. Although it was summer and quite warm, he had on a leather jacket, and a dark blue shirt with a pair of jeans. This boy gave off the bad-boy look, whereas James looked more boy-next-door.

He took Bryce out of James' hands, cradling Bryce in his own.

"Doesn't know how to bloody handle kids," he muttered, before giving another laugh as Bryce wiggled around.

"He's cute," he noted, looking up at Lily.

Lily nodded. Bryce seemed to be the only one of her siblings that would look like her. You could see the orange-ish tufts of hair on his head, the same color Lily's had been when she was younger. Now, though, it was darker, and more red.

She eyed Bryce with a small smile. "Is he yours?" The boy with elegant hair asked.

"No," she stressed. "I don't have _any kids whatsoever_."

"I thought he was hers too, when I first saw him," James said to the boy.

"He's my brother."

Elegant Hair Guy and James both nodded.

"Lily!"

She turned around to see Taylor running towards her. Although Taylor was clumsy, and often broke things, she was Lily's favorite cousin. She had a bubbly personality, one that would stay with her for her whole life, you could tell, with a giggle and a pretty smile. She was going to be gorgeous when she grew up. Naturally, though, she already thought she was grown up.

"What is it, Tay?" Lily asked.

"Anna's going through the boxes in your room."

"Oh, goddamn it on a popsicle."

"On a popsicle?" Elegant Hair Guy mouthed with furrowed eyebrows.

"I'll be right back," Lily said, before bounding up the steps that were just behind her door. After all the steps were done, she turned in a 360 degree angle, side-stepping the railing, and opening the door to her room. The walls were green, and had been when they'd bought the house. She planned on painting them orange, a color that would definitely clash with her hair, but was ironically her favorite color. However, a blonde little girl stood out brightly against the green contrast, and Lily walked over to her. She had her head in a box, and Lily could see it was the one that had all of her CD's. Lily grabbed Anna around the waist and dropped her over her shoulder. Anna gave a shriek, but Lily paid it no mind.

Walking back down the stairs and to the front door, Lily put down the six-year-old, putting a hand on her shoulder, before staring out to James and his friend, both of whom were smirking.

She exhaled loudly out of her mouth, before picking up the money she'd put on the table, although she had no idea when she'd put it there, and handing it to James. "Here you go."

"Thanks," they both said, both reaching for the money. James glared at Elegant Hair Guy, who gave him an innocent smile and took his hand off the money. James took the money and stuffed it in his pocket.

"Why're there two fo you?" Anna asked.

"He stalks me," James said in a casual tone.

"I do not!"

James continued in the same casual tone, pretending to not have heard Elegant Hair Guy's protest, "He's the reason I was so late getting this pizza to you guys, you know. Jumped on the back of my car, shrieking like a girl, I swear..." James shook his head and sighed. "What a pity."

Elegant Hair Guy glared, before turning to the three girls and Bryce, who was currently in Taylor's arms, and saying, "I'm staying at his house for the summer."

"Oh," all three girls said.

Bryce's cry startled them all. Looking over, they noticed that his arms were outstretched towards James. James looked shocked, and stood there staring at the little boys arms.

"I think he wants you to hold him," Lily said. She was confused, but if Bryce liked James, she had no problem with letting James stay and take care of him. Nope, no problem at all.

Hesitantly, he took Bryce from Taylor, and held him like Elegant Hair Guy had. Bryce gave a sleepy half-smile, before promptly falling asleep.

"Um..."

Lily's stomach gave a sudden rumble. Putting her hand over it, she looked forlornly over at the pizza. She still had that craving...

"Marc!" Anna screamed, running over to the five-year-old who was currently eating the dog food. Marc, after hearing his name being called, decided that he didn't want to be caught, and started running around the room barking. Taylor followed him, and, being a natural klutz, knocked down everything in her path. Anna followed after her, tripping over the messes Taylor made. Three of Lily's other cousins, Tammie, Ella, and Steven, turned on the TV, blaring up the sound and sitting with their noses practically pressed against it as Monsters Inc. started playing. Boo's voice from the movie cracked from the sound volume, causing everyone to wince. Ryan and Ethan, both eleven, were attempting to set up the Playstation on the same TV, which caused all five of them to start yelling at each other. Lily then saw her two younger sisters, Jamie and Belle, who were seven and eight, playing tag around the house.

Elegant Hair Guy looked around with detached amusement, before a jingle exploded in pocket. "Laura, hey," he said, once he got his cell phone out, and proceeded in having a conversation with some girl named Laura. James was holding Bryce still, looking slightly frightened when he started crying.

"Oh God, I think he just took a dump," he said loudly.

It was chaos.

Lily watched the whole scene for a second, her mouth only slightly open, and wondering if this was how it felt to be a parent. If it was, she made a vow never to become one. This was just way too much for any sane person to want, or even tolerate.

Shaking her head, she walked over to the TV, snatching the Playstation out of her cousins hands, ignoring their protests, and unplugging the TV. All five of them started whining, but she just snapped, "Shut _up_," before continuing on her way.

Catching Marc was surprisingly easy, and she threw him over her shoulder in the same way that she had Anna. Anna and Taylor stopped running after Lily had caught Marc, and Lily gave them a simple, "Clean it up."

After dropping Marc on the couch and telling him not to move or speak, she tried to catch Jamie and Belle. She caught them by the back of their shirts, and dragged them over to the couch next to Marc.

"Alright," she said loudly with a clap of her hands. "If you guys promise to be quiet and not say a word, you get some pizza. Promise?" They all nodded in response. "Good, now go sit at the table in the dining room and I'll bring some to you in a second."

They all walked over to the dining room table, and although Lily could hear them talking and giggling, they were however not being so loud that her eardrums were popping or she couldn't hear herself think.

She sighed and walked over to the front door again, staring on with bemusement as she watched James try not to touch Bryce and not show his disgust at the same time.

"I'll take him if you want," she said, nodding to Bryce.

James gave a sigh of relief, and quickly handed him over.

"Thanks for the pizza." James nodded and waved, grabbing Elegant Hair Guy by the collar of his leather jacket, and dragging him to his car. They both got in and drove off with a honk of good-bye.

Lily turned and went into her dining room. Naturally, it was chaotic again, but she'd managed to get them to at least stay in one room with the promise of pizza. She walked into the connected kitchen with the pizza in hand to get plates, all the while thinking that that must have been the longest pizza boy visit ever.

**AN:** Just to clear this up incase it's confusing, Lily's cousins are Taylor, Anna, Marc, and Ethan, who are Jackie and Stan's children, and Tammie, Ella, Steven, and Ryan, are Rachel and Tyler's children. May is Lily's mother, and although it's not mention in this chapter, Lily's fathers name is Luke. Anyway, I hope you liked it, please REVIEW! 


	2. Lonely?

**AN:** Me no ownnie Harry Potty. -snort- Harry Potter, sorry.

**Chapter Two: Lonely?**

"They were angels!" she lied, teeth gritted in a fake smile as she waved off her relatives. It was ten o'clock that night, and finally her Aunt Jackie, Aunt Rachel, and her mother, May, had come home from their convention, and took the children off her hands. She watched for a second as her aunts and cousins walked down the street to their homes–when Lily moved, her whole family moved, and they now all lived on the same street. That was how it worked with Lily's family–they were close. Petunia and Will barely got to choose where they wanted to go to college–it had to be somewhere close, of course–and although Lily had gone to a wizarding school in America, it was not a boarding school like Hogwarts, which is where she'd go for her final year of school. It was a major step for her family to let her to go to a boarding school, but since there was no other option, they allowed it. Since her whole family knew she was a witch, they'd write her daily anyway.

And maybe she'd finally have peace without the constant babysitting.

She loved her cousins and siblings, of course, all of them, but after being forced and forced again to babysit them day in and day out, as her parents and aunts and uncles were very social people and always had to go to some kind of party, it got a little old.

Shaking her head to rid herself of all these thoughts, she turned around and walked into her house, relishing in the slam of the screen door, which somehow managed to be soothing. Leaving the front door open, she walked into her new home.

Looking around, she was able to accept that it was better than her old home. There were wooden flooring instead of carpeting with stains, perfectly painted walls instead of creative drawings in crayon made from over the years, and windows almost covering every wall.

She turned to her right and into the living room. It was large and, even without the correct furniture, or much furniture at all, it gave off a homey vibe. After tripping on a couple of boxes, she walked into the sitting room, which was connected to the living room with sliding glass doors. Windows almost completely covered two of the walls, and the room was filled with boxes and nothing else. There was a door next to the a wall with a built-in bookcase that led into a hallway with more built-in bookcases, a bathroom, and the door to the basement that Lily had a sneaking suspicion was haunted. At least that's what she told herself; it was way too creepy to not be. However, the hallway led into a bright kitchen, and all thoughts of haunted basements fled from Lily's mind. She'd always had some weird love for kitchens, and this was definitely one of the prettiest ones she'd been in. It had white tile flooring, with white cabinets and an electric stove. The kitchen and dining room were only separated by counter tops, but they still felt like completely different rooms. In the dining room, the wooden flooring returned, and there was already a wooden table in the middle of the room with as many chairs that could fit around it as possible. The back door was also located in this room, and led out onto a patio and backyard with a hot tub and flowers.

The dining room also led back to where the front door was, and almost exactly parallel to this was the staircase to upstairs. There were four bedrooms upstairs; one that was Lily's, which was located right next to the steps, a small one that was going to be turned into a bedroom and nursery for Bryce was right next to Lily's, a master bedroom that was going to go to Lily's parents was across the hall from Bryce's and Lily's, and another master bedroom that was going to be Jamie and Belle's was next to Lily's parents. A bathroom was in the middle of the hallway and parallel to the staircase. As Will and Petunia went to college in America and wouldn't be here often, they did not have rooms upstairs, and instead got two rooms in the basement.

Walking into her room and ignoring the chatter that she could hear from her mother talking to her father on the phone, she shut her door and sat on the window seat that was in her room. That was one of the reasons why she picked this room. She'd always loved sitting on windowsills, but it'd gotten harder over the years as she'd grown, and she couldn't fit on the windowsill she'd had back in America.

She sighed and banged the back of her head against the wall once, before letting it stay there, thinking about America. She was going to miss it, even if while she'd lived there she'd complained about her small house or the mindless drama that happened at school. Most of all, though, she was going to miss her friends. Her best friends. Phoebe and Scarlet. The three of them had been friends since day one at the East Coast School of Magic. They'd bonded almost instantly, and had stayed just as close over the years. But now she'd left them, and staring up at the night sky she wondered if they were looking at the same stars.

When her parents had told her they were moving to England because her Aunt Rachel was getting transferred there for her job, she point blank refused. She said she'd live with Scarlet or Phoebe, or _anyone_, but there was no way in hell that she was going to move away from them. She'd moped and sulked, but it'd done no good.

Now that she was here for the second night, she had an aching in her stomach. All she wanted was to talk to Phoebe or Scarlet. That's all. Tell them about her cute pizza delivery boy and his friend, about anything. She didn't know how she'd make it without they're playful banter and constant bickering. It was what made the three of them the three of them.

Phoebe Heart was outspoken, loud, and crude. She had short, short brown hair, with eyes that had no specific color, they changed too much. She was tall and skinny and Lily often envied her for her beauty and confidence. She didn't care about what other people thought about her, and this often resulted in Scarlet and Lily wanting to pretend they didn't know her at all, but even still, Lily loved her.

Scarlet Baker was the same, only in a different way. Almost everything that came out of her mouth was a sarcastic comment, and when it wasn't it had the possibility of being mean, or extremely heartfelt, although no matter what it was she somehow seemed to always sound uninterested and bored. She changed her hair color as much as she changed her moods, and this happened often, although her eyes never changed from their sky blue. She didn't like big crowds and preferred when it was just her and a couple close friends. Most people thought that this made her shy, but in truth she just didn't think that other people had anything worthwhile to say.

Lily felt another pang of longing and homesickness, but she swallowed it down before she started crying and attempting to rip out her hair or apparate illegally. She tried to push the thoughts from her mind and focus on the stars she knew, but they all somehow formed Scarlet or Phoebe's faces, or something that reminded her of them, so she turned her attention to the dark area around her.

The houses in her neighborhood were close together, almost too close for her liking, and in a semi-circle formation. They were all large and bright and pretty and reminded her nothing of her home in America. She'd lived on the east coast, as you can tell from her school name, and practically in the middle of nowhere, but it was often too small for all of them. Her house was in the middle of a big field, though there was a road that merged into the highway. She could still picture everything in detail; the sign that had been knocked over for as long as she could remember, but no one made any effort to put it back up, the way the flowers bloomed, the steps she had to avoid when she snuck out, the portkey that she took to get to school...

God, she missed it. She missed it so much it physically ached and just when it was about to make her give a heart-wrenching sob, a voice interrupted her. "Lonely?" A male voice asked.

"Pizza boy?" she asked when she noticed who it was. She didn't remember opening her window, she didn't remember climbing out onto the roof that was under it, but looking around she noticed that she'd done it all by reflex. It was almost exactly the same back in America, and she realized with a jolt that she could remember the way the roof felt and grasping Phoebe's hand while she giggled and Scarlet rolled her eyes before they went out dancing...

"You didn't tell me you lived right next door," she noted, again realizing how close the houses were together, and that if he stood from his own window seat and went out onto the roof, he could easily come onto hers and vice versa. She also noted that, ironically, when he'd been at her door, she'd compared him to being like a boy-next-door, and that he was, in fact, just that.

"Didn't wanna ruin the surprise." He smiled. It wasn't an even smile like Phoebe's had been; it was lopsided, and Lily felt relief flood her.

The sound of Bryce crying filled her ears, but she made no move. Instead, she lay down on her roof, putting her hands under hear head and looking around the neighborhood.

"Your brother's crying."

Lily nodded. "My mom's home, though."

"Oh." They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, both emerged in their thoughts, before James broke it. "You never answered my question."

"What question?" Lily murmured, her eyes closed but no where close to sleep.

"Are you feeling lonely?"

She hesitated, before slowly saying, "I miss my friends from America."

He nodded, though Lily didn't see him. "I can't imagine leaving my friends," he said softly.

"Like the guy with the hair?"

He laughed. "Yeah, his name's Sirius."

"Like the star?" she asked, opening one eye and peeking at him. Over the time, he'd come to sit on his own roof under his window, and was now sitting cross-legged on the end.

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "How'd you know?"

"My dad taught me," she lied, since she couldn't exactly tell a Muggle that it was a class she took at her school where they also taught magic.

"Oh. Well, yeah, like the star. It's not just him though, it's my other best mate, Remus–"

She snorted. Upon realizing that she'd just snorted at his friends name, she turned it into a cough and said, "Sorry. Your friends have, um...weird names."

He gave another lopsided grin, ruffling his hair, and Lily was struck by the thought that he looked like he'd just gotten off a broomstick. "Yeah, I've got the normal one."

"I knew a James in the US," Lily said, thinking, "He was kinda chubby. Had greasy hair..."

James shuddered, and Lily looked at him oddly. "What?"

"Nothing, I just know a kid who has greasy hair. Really annoying. Into the dark–darkness."

"Into the darkness?" Lily quoted skeptically.

"He...likes the dark."

"Oh, um, okay then," Lily said, still looking at him oddly, before closing her eyes again. She was enjoying the peace and quiet for the first time today–finally, Bryce had stopped crying–and just sitting there listening to the wind and the very soft sound of the waves she could hear from the beach that was only a minutes walk away, trading words with James the Pizza Boy who she didn't really know, but didn't particularly mind because he was pretty and took her mind of Phoebe and Scarlet.

But nothing can last forever, can it?

"Lily!" her mother called. Groaning quietly, she opened her eyes and sat up.

"What?" she said just barely anything louder than how she normally talked, and definitely more flat.

"Will you play with Bryce? I have a headache."

"You're not the only one..." she muttered. James gave a quiet chuckle, and although Lily didn't really know him, she divulged information that she didn't like sharing with many people. "Honestly, I love her and I love Bryce, but sometimes I feel like I have to do _everything_ for Bryce while she goes out with her sisters and goes to parties. Hell, half the time I have to do everything for her too."

James smiled at her sympathetically.

"This is why you don't friggin' have kids at forty-nine," she added, before sighing and saying, "I'll be right back."

She walked back into her room, and then out into the hallway. Sighing once again–she did that a lot, maybe she needed to stop–she stared at the mirror that was on the wall between her room and Bryce's. There were slight bags under her eyes, and the high ponytail that she'd had in the entire day was no longer so high and small piece's had fallen out. Shaking her head at herself and making no attempt to fix it, she made her way into her mother's room where Bryce currently was staying, took him in her arms, and walked away without a word.

"Were you talking to someone?" her mother asked, even though she was already in the hallway.

"Yes," she said shortly, before returning to her room, and shut the door with a little more force than was necessary. She knew she was being childish, but she didn't very well care. She was allowed to be childish, _she_ was the one who was seventeen, and even that just barely, not her mother.

She walked back out of her window and onto her roof. James was still out on his, regarding her with a curious look. "Is it safe to have a baby on a roof?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Sure. I did it in America, too." He was still looking at her oddly, so she added with a roll of her eyes, "Live a little."

"Isn't that his choice?" he asked, indicating to Bryce.

"_Maybe_, but I don't particularly care. It's not like he's going to get hurt." With that, she plopped down on her roof, putting Bryce in front of her, but holding him around his chubby middle so he wouldn't wander and fall. James watched her with a small amount of amusement, but they sat in silence except for Bryce's giggles and made-up words.

A familiar jingle sounded from inside Lily's house and within a second she was on her feet, saying, "Oh, my God." Bryce was still in her arms, but it was only by reflex and not because she actually remembered he was there. Jumping into her window, she called a, "Hold on a second." over her shoulder at James.

She fished around on her bed until she found her cell phone. She knew that ringtone; it was Scarlet's, and wasn't it just seconds ago she was wishing she was talking to her?

She grabbed her cellphone and not even bothering to look at the caller ID, she pressed the send button, and asked, "Scarlet?"

"Lily?" Scarlet's voice came floating out and Lily felt that she herself was floating as well.

"Omigod, Scarlet!"

"Lily! How's England?"

"Honestly? I have no idea. Yesterday I slept and unpacked, and today I had to babysit everyone, so I haven't gotten a chance to look around. From what I've seen, though, it's just a small town."

She heard James' indignant cry of protest from outside her widow and popped her head out to smile. "Sorry, James."

Scarlet had been saying something, but once she heard a male voice and then Lily saying a male name, she stopped. "Was that a guy?" she asked.

"Yes," Lily answered with a roll of her eyes. "They do exist, you know. I mean, I thought they were just mythical creatures too, but they're crawling all over the place here!"

"You're starting to sound like me way too much," Scarlet said flatly.

"You rubbed off on me," Lily said with a smile.

"So, about the guy?"

"Oh. Yeah, he delivered my pizza and lives next door to me."

"Cute?"

"I think you'd appreciate his friend. Has the whole bad-boy thing down."

James laughed, and muttered, "Wait til I tell Sirius." Lily grinned at him again, and sat down on the roof again, not caring that James was listening to her half of the conversation or that he could have taken that as rude. As it was, he didn't.

"Leather jacket?" Scarlet asked.

"Yup."

"Sexy."

Lily laughed again. "He could look like a gorilla and you just called him sexy."

"At least he's got the leather jacket." Lily could picture Scarlet shrugging, twirling her wand around in her fingers, her cellphone between her ear and her shoulder. She knew that she'd be sitting in her favorite chair, the one right in front of her desk in her room. That was how Scarlet was, and Lily wished that there was no need for the cell phone between her ear and shoulder, that Lily could be sitting on the floor against her desk like they'd done millions of times before.

But everything was changing now and they both had to get used to it.

Shaking her head to rid herself of the depressing thoughts, her attention was turned to Bryce, who had fallen asleep in her arms, and even though Scarlet was talking, and Bryce almost always bothered her to no end, and she was sitting in the somewhat chilly night on a roof in _England_, she realized that maybe she didn't mind her mom shoving Bryce on her all the time after all.

**AN:** REVIEW! 


	3. Laughing in the Sand

**Disclaimer:** You'd think you'd be smart enough to know I don't own Harry Potter.

**Chapter Three: Laughing in the Sand**

Lily rolled over, burying her head under her covers to block out the annoying revving of Will's motorcycle. Honestly, he always made all that noise just to let people know he was home and it was so friggin' annoying and–

He was home?

Lily scrambled out of her bed, all thoughts of sleep gone, as she tried to get out the door as fast as possible. She hadn't seen Will since his winter break, and she'd missed him. She'd always been closer to Will than any of her other siblings, as he was so much more laid-back than her sisters were.

She managed to tumble out of her door, and twirled to fly down the stairs. She slipped slightly on the wood flooring, before opening the front door and running outside. She could still hear the rumbling of his motorcycle, and knew that if Will was still the same old Will, he'd be driving it around trying to wake up anyone close. This never worked too well when they lived in America since no one lived very close to them, but now she had a feeling that the whole perfectly constructed semi-circle of pretty houses was awake and grumbling. Not caring at all, though, she came into view of her older brother on his motorcycle, and yelled, "Will!"

He looked back at her and gave a deep laugh. Coming up in front of her, he jumped off and gave her a bone-crushing hug. After a few minutes of mindless chatter through their hug, she stepped back to look at him. He looked the same, maybe with a little bit more of a tan, but still the same. His curly brown hair sat in ringlets on top of his head, and his sea blue-green eyes shined brightly. He was taller, she noted, but only by an inch, maybe. Now, he was what, six foot four?

All in all, he looked nothing like Lily, who was sporting shocking red hair that was almost completely straight but was able to be curled, bright green eyes, pale skin, and only reaching about five foot five.

Lily hugged him once more and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "How was school?" she asked in a motherly tone.

He pulled a face. "You need to get away from Mom more often, Lil."

"You're telling me."

He smiled, but answered her question. "School was good, I suppose. School-ish, you know? How good can it possibly be?"

"True."

Will seemed to notice that someone was looking at them, and he turned around as much as he could with his arms still around Lily. Lily peeked out from behind her brother, and noticed that James was standing there, in boxers and a white tee-shirt, looking at them with sleepy eyes, only a few feet away from them.

"Who's he?" Will muttered.

"Oh! Pizza boy. His name's James. Saved me a little sanity the other day." After a second she added, "Bryce likes him."

"Oh, how is the little rascal?"

"Good, he's good. I hate you, by the way."

"Why?"

"Well, mom and Aunt Rachel and Aunt Jackie went to some convention or something yesterday, and naturally, Uncle Stan and Uncle Tyler can't take care of their own kids, so they dropped them off at our house, and Petunia, the bitch that she is, left me. So I was stuck with ten screaming kids all day."

He winced. "Sorry. If I'd known, I would have tired to come sooner to help."

Lily snorted. "No, you wouldn't've. Probably would have stayed a couple days extra, too."

"Aw, such faith," her brother remarked.

"Omigod, no way!"

Lily and Will both craned their necks to look where the voice had come from. Noticing someone standing on the steps of James' house, they both comically squinted and leaned in at exactly the same time. Lily said 'oh' and stood back, but Will was still standing there, slightly hunched, trying to figure out if he knew this person or not.

It didn't seem to matter, however, because said person came bounding over to them and all but screeched, "I love your motorcycle!"

"Thanks," Will said, not looking unfazed in the least, and turned towards Sirius to start a conversation about motorcycles. Lily tuned this out, and turned around, noticing that James was still standing there, looking very tired.

"Sorry," she apologized with a smile. "You'll probably have to get used to that. He likes attention."

James nodded numbly, and Lily thought he might have been asleep with his eyes open and on his feet, as he made no move to do anything, just continued standing there, staring at the island of grass in the middle of the semi-circle of houses.

"Do you...want some food?" she asked hesitantly. "Everyone's going to come out in about five minutes to say hi to Will," she indicated with her hand to her brother, "and knowing them they'll all come over to my house, so I might has well make something."

James looked over at her, staring for a second, and she wondered if he was thinking just how much of a house-wife she sounded like, just as she was thinking, but then he nodded once again, slowly, and Lily led him in her house, side-stepping boxes and making her way over to her kitchen–oh, her pretty kitchen–and started getting the ingredients to make pancakes. Lots and lots of pancakes.

She heard her mother coming down the steps and knew even before looking at her that she'd probably been woken up from Will's motorcycle before she was, and that her mother had taken this time to make herself presentable.

Lily asked even before her mom was done with the steps, "Where's Bryce?"

"Upstairs, asleep. You might want to turn on the monitor just in case, though," her mother instructed, and Lily turned to her right to turn on the baby monitor before nodding, although her mother couldn't see her, and saying, "Will's outside talking to a neighbor."

"Thanks, dear," her mother called, and before the screen door slammed, added, "Could you maybe start making some food?"

"I'm already a step ahead of you, Mom," she said, and continued making pancakes. She motioned for James to take a seat at one of the stools at the counter that separated the dining room and the kitchen. When he did, he let his head fall onto the counter, and even before the resounding _thump!_ he groaned.

"Not a morning person?" she asked, and only got a grunt in response.

Lily continued to talk, even though she was pretty sure James had fallen asleep on her counter, but for some reason, she was exceptionally energetic today and did not mind talking to herself while making pancakes. She wondered briefly why she was so happy; maybe it was that Will was home, but she realized that every other time he'd come home, she'd run out to greet him, and then fallen back asleep. Maybe England was just making her crazy.

She voiced these thoughts to the thin air and sleeping pizza delivery boy, and upon getting no response, continued talking and making pancakes. She could hear her whole family outside conversing–they'd always been a loud family–and she even heard Sirius in the conversation as well. She didn't know Sirius well–after all, she'd only just met him–but she could tell that if he was like this everyday, and if he was staying right next door to her, that he'd definitely bond with her family, and that by the end of the summer, she probably would know him pretty well.

Footfalls could be heard walking up the small walkway to her front door, and Lily looked up and saw that everyone came rushing in; first Will, then Sirius, her mother, Aunt Jackie, Aunt Rachel, Uncle Stan, Uncle Tyler, Anna, Taylor, Marc, Tammie, Ella, Steven, Ryan, Ethan, and then trotting in came her dog, Ruby. She could hear Jamie and Belle rushing down the stairs to greet everyone, and she took the three plates of pancakes, placed them on the dining room table, and announced, "Get 'em while they're hot."

Everyone scrambled to get a seat around the table, but in the end, Steven, Ethan, and Ryan went to eat in the sitting room, the parents claimed half of the dining room table, the young girls the second half, and Lily, Sirius, James, and Will sat on the stools at the counter.

Lily shoved a plate of pancakes in front of James sleeping head, and said loudly in his ear, "Eat." She shoved one of the many bottles of maple syrup at him, and plopped down on the stool next to him.

"Where's Pet?" Will asked her in between bites of pancake after a few moments.

"Honestly? I've no idea."

"Who's Pet?" James mumbled.

"Only my rotten sister."

"Oh, really, Lily, she's not that bad," Will said, exasperated.

"Yeah, that's only because she likes you."

"Why doesn't she like you?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I'm–different than her."

"How?"

"I've got a different personality, I guess." _Actually, it's because I can wave a stick and things happen_, she thought wryly, but couldn't voice it.

Bryce's cry could be heard through the baby monitor, and, grabbing it, she headed upstairs to check on him. It bothered her a little that the adults were too engrossed in their conversion to not hear the loud cries of the baby. What had it been like when she was a kid? She could remember when all of her cousins were babies, and although she'd been around ten and was absolutely obnoxious, she knew that they'd spent almost all their time with their babies. So why had they stopped now?

Again, she found herself thinking that this was why you don't have kids at forty-nine.

She heard footfalls behind her, and turned to see Will coming up the stairs. She continued on her way, letting him follow behind her. It wasn't until they were in her mothers room next to Bryce's crib with him in her arms and the door shut that she asked, "Does it bother you they don't notice stuff like this anymore?"

Will sighed, taking Bryce from her arms. "You need a break."

"I do not," she protested, but knew that she was begging for one every second of every day. "It's just, you and Petunia are off at college, and Dad's been at the conference thing for two weeks already, and Mom's been with Aunt Rachel and Aunt Jackie a lot, and it's not like Belle or Jamie could take care of him and–"

"Lily, really, shut up," he said flatly.

After a second of silence, she said, "I don't know what they're going to do when I have to go to Hogwarts."

"Stop worrying! You're younger than me, aren't you? And you're making breakfast and taking care of a bunch of kids and a baby–look at that, you've got more wrinkles than an old woman," he teased, squishing her forehead.

She swatted his hand away, but smiled nonetheless. Will seemed to find it safe to say more, so he continued, "Look, there are two guys downstairs. They're–er, nice looking, I suppose. And they're your age, I asked that Sirius kid. So, listen. I want you to go out around town with them; let them show you around, or take you to the next town over, I don't really care. Just get out of this house, I have no idea how you've been able to stand all of this for so long, honestly."

"Aren't you supposed to be playing overprotective big, bad, older brother and forbidding me to see any boy until I'm married and have kids, not saying 'I don't care what you do, just go out with a couple of nice looking guys?'"

"Yes, well, as long as you don't come back pregnant."

"At least I could take care of the thing..."

He chuckled and pushed her towards the door. "Go, I'll take care of Bryce."

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

"Positive," he confirmed, once again pushing her towards the door.

She opened the door and went bounding down the stairs. Maybe she could get used to taking a break...

Of course, once she'd gone downstairs, she'd had to do the dishes from breakfast, but James and Sirius then dragged her out to walk around town.

Lily found herself being drawn to them, her curiosity getting the better of her. They reminded her of Scarlet and Phoebe in a completely warped way, but at the same time, didn't remind her of them in the slightest. They were able to keep up a playful banter, just like Scarlet and Phoebe, but their friendship seemed even stronger than Lily's and the girls; like they'd been through too much to let anything affect their friendship. They were also able to tease and insult each other, yell and scream, tackle to the ground or hug, the other as much as they wanted, but could act like it didn't happen ten seconds later, and were back to shocking Lily with how tight their bond was.

They led her all over town; meeting all the old shopkeepers that had been there forever, showing her the different neighborhoods and how they seemed to go on forever even if the town was small. They showed her everything, leaving nothing out, they'd said, and they ended with the beach. They were sprawled out on their backs in front of the water, waves sometimes touching their now bare feet, getting sand tangled up in their hair, but not caring. They had a cup of fries drenched in vinegar that they were passing around the three of them, looking on as the sky change into deep oranges and reds and purples.

"You know, Lily," Sirius drawled, turning towards her, as he was on her left, and she was in the middle of him and James, "you're pretty okay. After you get past the whole motherly thing, of course."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Thanks, I suppose."

He nodded. "You're welcome."

"Isn't your hair, like, your prized possession, Sirius?" she asked.

"Of course! I mean, have you _seen_ it? Its beauty, its–"

"Oh God, stop him now," James interrupted.

"You have sand in it. Like, all over," Lily said loudly.

Sirius blanched. "You lie."

"Nope, sorry," she said nonchalantly, before laying on her back and looking up at the sky.

She saw James and Sirius sit up, but did not register the mischievous look that passed between them. That was, until she was covered in sand. Screeching, she tried to escape, but was only bombarded with more sand. She wondered if it would ever come out of her hair or this outfit, but didn't have much time to ponder it as she was laughing harder than she had in a long time.

**AN:** Review pleases?


	4. Dance With Me

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter's not mine. Unfortunetly...-sigh-

**AN:** Okay, here is chapter fourrr. Yay me! I'm not sure if I like this chapter yet, though, so tell me how you like it. It's pretty fluffy though, so brace yourself.

**Chapter Four: Dance With Me**

Lily sighed, sweeping her green eyes over the room one final time, before bending down to the empty boxes that were piled on top of each other haphazardly. She had just completely unpacked her room, and finally, finally, _finally_, her room looked good. Her now-orange walls were displayed brightly and proudly, with posters of her favorite American bands and movies, and pictures of her and her friends–especially Scarlet and Phoebe–were taped and tacked all around and in frames on her desk.

She grabbed the boxes and made her way down the steps, trying to bend her head around them to see where she was going, though with little success. Giving up, she decided to trust her instincts and take the steps using her small amount of memory of them. She over-estimated the number of steps and wound up stumbling her way through the screen door, as the front door was almost always left open, just like when she lived in America.

"Whoops," she muttered, trying to look dignified as she walked to the curb to set her boxes down next to the trash cans. She smacked her hands together and dusted them off as if she'd just done something long and hard, and looked up through her lashes to scan the neighborhood.

She'd taken to doing this every time she walked past a window or door, or when she came outside for something. It was so different than when she'd lived with no neighbor within practically a thirty-mile radius, and now that she had them everywhere, she'd look up and do a little people-watching, as even though it was an incredibly small town, people were always around.

Today, though, she was surprised that when she looked up through her dark lashes, she was met with a pair of chocolate-honey-syrup colored eyes very close to her, and very much invading her personal bubble. Giving a yelp, she jumped back, instinctively groping for her wand, before realizing that she was in a Muggle neighborhood with Muggle neighbors and waving a stick at them probably wouldn't do much scaring. But when she took a second to let her hand drop back down to her side, she noticed a somewhat familiar mess of brown-black hair, and she instantly relaxed.

_Honestly_, she scolded herself, _it's only James._

It'd been a week since that day at the beach, and since then Lily had not interacted with James or Sirius. Sure, she'd seen them when she was walking over to her aunts' houses, or getting in her car, and they'd waved, but they had not spent another night watching the sunset with the water liking their toes.

James laughed a deep laugh, his eyes twinkling. "Sorry," he apologized, though there was no remorse in his voice.

"You scared me!" Lily gasped out, one hand over her heart as she tried to get her breath back.

He shrugged, and then changed the subject, nodding his head to the window that was hers on the side of the house. "You painted."

"Yeah, two days ago," she confirmed, nodding her head as well.

"Orange?"

"My favorite color."

James wrinkled his nose, looking between her window where the orange walls could very much be seen in contrast to the off-white coloring of her house, and her.

Lily huffed, putting a hand on her hip. "You don't _like_ my orange walls?"

"Well, I'm afraid they'll keep me up at night, what with reflecting the moonlight and all."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh har, har, har."

He gave a lopsided grin before once again changing the subject. "What are you doing today?"

"Probably going to stare at my pretty walls."

He scoffed. "And go blind?"

"Yes," Lily said dryly, "Of course."

James opened his mouth to give another witty remark, but was cut off when there was a loud _boom!_ from his house followed by a, "Padfoot!" bellowed from James. Not even a split second later, his front door was thrown open, and out came Sirius, hair practically standing on end, black all over his face and hands and arms and _everything_, coughing and waving smoke away from his face.

"What did you bloody hell do to my _house?_" James cried.

Sirius, still coughing, changed from waving his arm to get the smoke away from him to a careless waving gesture. "It's fine," he rasped.

"_Fine?_" James asked in a high voice. "You call that _fine?_ It looks like you set it on fire!"

Sirius looked sheepish. "Sirius!" James screamed, "You set my house on fire, you bloody prat!"

"Well...I didn't mean to, I–"

"You _didn't mean to?_ Yeah, well–"

"–just trying to cook a cake–"

"–set my house on fire, I can't believe–"

"–it was for your birthday, lighten up–"

"–_honestly_, my _house_–"

"–I didn't mean to!–"

"Yeah, well, I actually _mean_ to do this." With that, James smacked Sirius upside the head one, two, three times. Lily looked on with slight bemusement as James continued to smack Sirius, which escalated to a full-out catfight, both of them smacking each others hands and sometimes arms, heads turned away, faces screwed up so that their noses were scrunched and their eyes were closed tightly.

"Guys!" Lily suddenly screeched, "you know the house is _still on fire?_"

This stopped them abruptly, and turning they noticed that there was indeed lots of smoke coming out of the house and that through the kitchen window you could see flames around the stove. It hadn't gotten very big yet, despite the time that had passed, but it was still a fire.

They both yelped, grabbed the others arm, and dragged them to where Lily was, screeching, "Oh, my God, fire!"

All the yelling seemed to cause all the neighbors to come out of their house and see what all the noise was about. Instead of being confronted by a couple of teenagers who thought themselves cool, they were confronted with a fire, two hysterical boys, and a slightly-too-calm girl, rolling her eyes and running into her house to call the fire department that was all but a block or two away.

Normally, Lily would have just gotten her wand out and put out the fire and restored the house, but she couldn't exactly do that, now could she? Somewhat irked, she dialed the number to the fire department and waited all but three seconds before someone picked up. She explained the situation and the address, but instead of a 'We'll be right there' she got an exasperated '_Again?_' before there was a click.

Walking out of her house, she yelled to them, "How many times have you lit your house on fire, now?"

"Um, three times, right James?"

"Yup, three times. Now four."

"And you still haven't gotten over the hysteria?" she asked, walking up to them as the fire truck pulled into their neighborhood, stopping in front of James house, and most of the firefighters giving James and Sirius glares which they returned with energetic waves and smiles.

"Not really," James answered offhandedly. He was watching with awe–it never did cease to amaze him what firefighters did–as they sprayed his house with hoses.

"Where are your parents?" Lily asked, watching as well.

"Work," they both answered.

"You going to call them?"

James shrugged. "They'll figure it out."

"Lily!" a shrill voice screeched. The girl in question rolled her eyes, and turned her head to look at the door of her house, matching the voice with a name before ever seeing who it was–her dear older sister Petunia.

"Yes, Pet?" she asked lazily.

Petunia's already red face turned redder at the use of her old nickname. "Don't call me that!" she snapped.

"So I've heard," Lily answered, "What do you need?"

"You put your ugly _orange paint_ in my room!"

Lily snickered behind her hand. "Whoops." She could hear James muttering, "I told you orange wasn't a good color." and took a second to give him a mock-glare before turning back to her sister.

"Sorry, Pet," Lily said without any remorse, using Petunia's nickname to further irk her sister.

"I told you not to call me that!" she screeched with a stomp of her foot.

"Ow," Lily muttered, rubbing her ear. "Could you lower your voice like, five octaves please? I think I may just go deaf."

"I don't care!" Petunia stomped her foot again.

"What _are_ you, _four_? Stop it with the fucking stomping of your foot and clean it up, then!"

"It's your fault it's there!"

"I'm not cleaning it up."

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Petunia," Lily finally snapped. "Clean it up _yourself._ I don't _care_ that it's in your room, and it's not even like you're going to be here for another week anyway, so suck it the fuck up." With that, Lily stomped over to her car that she'd gotten as an attempted bribery to make her happy to move here, dug the keys out of her pocket violently, before throwing open her car door, getting in, slamming her door shut, and taking off very fast.

"Don't drive away from me!" Petunia yelled after her, "I'm not done yelling at you!"

The only response she got back was the middle finger out of Lily's window. Petunia gave another shrill screech and stomp of her foot at this before going back inside with a slam of the screen door.

James and Sirius stood in silence for a second, before Sirius muttered, "D'you think we should go after her?"

James nodded and muttered in return, "Yeah. You stay here, though, talk to the firefighters and stuff."

Sirius nodded too, turning back to the house, as James walked away towards where Lily's car had tore off to. Since James didn't have a car, it'd probably be a while until he found her, but the town was small, and his legs were long, so maybe he'd be able to find her. After all, her bright yellow Mustang convertible wouldn't be that hard to point out anyway.

It didn't take long, either, for James to find it parked in front of the beach, with Lily walking furiously towards James' favorite part of the beach–they hadn't shown it to her when they'd given her the tour, either–where no one ever was, as you wouldn't be able to find it unless you were looking for someone in solitude, which most people weren't when they were at the beach. He followed her hesitantly, entering the cave where she was sitting on a rock, throwing pebbles against the side of the cave and glaring, her eyes shining.

"Hey," he said softly.

She looked up at him for only a second, before asking, "Why're you here?" in a flat tone.

"To find you."

"Why?" Her voice still held no emotion.

"To see if you were okay." He sat down in front of the rock she was sitting on so they were face to face, since her rock wasn't very high off the ground and he was tall.

After a minute of silence, she started to talk. "It really shouldn't even bother me. It wasn't even that big of a fight, anyway. We've been...we've been like that since I was eleven, you know. Before that, I guess we were really close, but then I got accepted into this private school, and she didn't, and she hated me for it. Its never been the same since, so I should be used to it, I really, really should. But every time we fight, I just..." Her sentence trailed off as her eyes started to gather tears, and she pulled at them in attempt to make the tears not fall, but they fell anyway, fat and hot down her cheeks.

"It'll never be the same, and I guess I just really hate knowing that," she ended, her voice wavering as her bottom lip did.

She couldn't believe she'd just told a boy she barely knew all of that. Sure, it wasn't the whole truth as it didn't mention just what kind of private school she got accepted to, but it was the story nonetheless–the story that she'd be hesitant to mention to anyone, and yet she'd mentioned it to James. She noticed that she mentioned a lot to James, and wondered why she told him so much when she knew so little about him. Why had she told him about her mother pushing Bryce on her? Why had she told him about missing her friends? Why had she told him about her sister?

In the end it didn't matter, though, because Lily realized that he was just that type of person. And even if she didn't know much about him, she _wanted_ to, because she _wanted _to be friends with him, she _wanted_ to know his life. She just wanted to know him.

But then his thumb was on her cheek and it wiped away her tears as he whispered to her, "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that."

Lily knew that he didn't know if she deserved that or not, but she didn't much care because his touch was giving her shivers down her spine, and his voice was making her believe for the first time in six years that maybe she didn't really deserve it at all.

She looked up from her lap–she couldn't remember ever looking down from his eyes–and found with a jolt that they were much closer than she had expected his honey-chocolate-syrup brown eyes to be, and that they were coming closer as he was leaning in. Their eyes were locked, but he broke it as his eyes wandered her face, his thumb no longer on her cheek, but his whole hand already tangled in her hair.

His face was only an inch away from hers now, and she closed her eyes in anticipation as he came a little closer, his lips barely touching hers, as if asking for permission. She gave a slight movement of her head–whether it was a yes or a no, she didn't know–but it seemed that James took it as a yes because in the next second his lips were fully on hers.

He knew that he shouldn't have been kissing her, that to kiss a girl when she was so vulnerable, like right now, wasn't the smartest move, but he didn't care because he'd been wanting to kiss her since the moment she opened her door for him when he delivered her pizza.

"Why're you kissing me?" she muttered against his lips.

"Because I want to," he answered.

The only response she gave was kissing him back.

She didn't really know why she was kissing him, and whether or not that in the long shot she'd really want to, but right here, right now, she didn't care, because her head was spinning, and she was sure that if he pulled away it still would be. And somehow that didn't manage to bother her in the slightest, because the butterflies in her stomach and the slightly-terrified feeling she could feel in every inch of her body was making her feel better about Petunia and England and her mom more than anything ever had.

It could have been days until he pulled away, but Lily wouldn't have ever known, because when he finally did, her head was still spinning at his close proximity. He rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed, with his lips slightly parted and a little pinker than they naturally were. Lily imagined that hers were too, and wondered how long they really had kissed. He had moved from sitting on the ground of the cave to on his knees, but neither could remember when.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I shouldn't–"

"No," Lily interrupted, and his eyes opened. "I didn't particularly mind."

He gave a lopsided grin before turning serious. "So, are you okay?"

She bit her lip to keep from smiling. "Yeah," she said, "I'm fine."

"Good." He stood up and grabbed her hand to haul her up to her feet. They walked the short distance to the end of the cave in silence, but once they were out on the beach they were met by the sound of thunder. The waves were crashing violently, and although they could have been seen from inside the cave they had been in, it seemed that no sound from anything outside of that cave could be heard inside it, so the noises of the waves did not attract their attention. Now, though, they heard the waves, and the wind, and the trees thrashing. People were running, trying to leave before the rain came, to their cars or to the neighborhoods only a little ways away.

Lily, though, loved the rain, and instead of following the mass of people and getting into her car where it was safe and dry, she simply laughed, and twirled in circles as the rain started coming down in sheets.

"Lily!" James yelled over the sounds of the rain, "It's raining!"

"I know," she laughed. She looked like Christmas had come early, her face bright despite how dark the day had become, and her hair stuck to her face. Her clothes were now thoroughly soaked, as were James' as he stood and watched her twirl, his hair was no longer messy–though it would be if he ran his hand through it–as the rain had soaked him through.

"You're going to get sick!"

"Okay!" she answered, before she abruptly stopped twirling and stared at him, her green eyes bright. "Dance with me!" she demanded.

"What?" he asked in amusement as she walked over to him and grabbed his hand.

"Come on, dance with me!" He let her drag him over to the middle of the beach, where the waves were coming closer and closer to them, and the boardwalk could be seen, though all the shops had already been boarded up.

They were dancing a made-up dance, their steps clumsy through the sand, one of her hands on his shoulder, the other in his, and his other hand on her waist. She was almost always throwing her head back and laughing, the rain hitting her face, but this only made her laugh harder. It was the complete opposite of what she was only fifteen minutes ago, and James wondered fleetingly with amusement if her moods always changed so quickly.

He spun her around, before pulling her back into him. "Stop that," he said.

Her eyebrows knitted together only slightly. "Stop what?" she asked curiously.

"Being so irresistible," he said seriously, though his eyes were twinkling.

She gave him a small smile. Maybe England wouldn't be so bad after all...

**AN:** Yeah, fluff. I didn't even do it on purpose, it just happened. Most of this fic is like that. I just want to write, I do, and this comes out without me putting that much thought into it. Anyway, I hope you like it, though I know this was the type of chapter that makes you hate the world and the writer. Well, whatever. I don't know if I like it myself. Though I definetely would not mind if James Potter kissed me. Oh, that reminds me, I know that the LJ action was kinda early, but I wanted it to happen over the summer, and the summer isn't really the main part of the fic, though it will take up a big part of it. & I know that this all kind of sounded really harlequine-y (sp?) and angsty, but...I don't care:).

Thank to my reviewers...

**coreagurl**

EternalWords

BrazilianPrincess

LazyBoyGilmore: there's your kiss, I guess. But I don't think they're gonna go to Hogwarts for a while, sorryyy.

**messyblackhair66**

sncaggie: yeah, I'm DEFINETELY jealous of Lily too.

You guys rock. Everyone else start reviewing too!


	5. The Feeling's Mutual

**Disclaimer:** We've been over this, I don't own Harry Potter. Oh, and Lily's house is sort of based of my uncles. At least the basic layout of it, but not completely. I don't own that either...But I do have the plot and the OCs, yayyy!

**AN:** Oh my good golly goshhh, thanks for the reviews:). And alerts and favorites and everything. You guys pretty much made my life. And it's also why this chapter came out pretty quick, though I've had it written since I posted the other one, and the next chapter is half way done. Anyway, thanks to...

**messyblackhair66:** hahahaha, you make me laugh. & really? I know. I wish I had a pretty english boy call me irresistable...

**EternalWords**

iluvreading

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xxxHPxxx: you didn't finish your review:(

**Chapter Five: The Feeling's Mutual**

Lily woke the next morning to the sound of her alarm. Groaning, she rolled over and slapped her hand on the snooze button, curling back under her blankets. She couldn't quite remember why she had set it, but it was early in the morning, so she didn't care. All she cared about was _sleep_.

Five minutes later, it went off again. She gave a growl this time, before hitting the snooze button again, and this routine went on for a half an hour.

She heard a pebble being thrown at her window followed by a "Turn that _off!_" from what she assumed was James. She decided to ignore it, partially because she was too lazy and partially just to irk him because he'd yelled it right when she was falling back asleep.

Her alarm went off again, and she hit the snooze so fast that it didn't finish the first _beep_.

"Lily Maria Evans, get up now!" her mother screamed up the stairs. Lily groaned.

The whole interrupting her sleep thing was getting on her nerves.

"No," she muttered, though she knew her mother couldn't hear her. She burrowed herself under her blankets so that she was at the bottom of her bed, planning on staying there for the rest of the day–or at least a _normal_ and _healthy_ hour to get up–like noon.

She heard angry steps coming up the stairs, though, and figured that it was safer to get out of bed than endure the wrath of her mother.

Scurrying out of her bed quickly, she walked over to her closet and tried to make it look like she'd been there for a while when her mother threw open her door. Her mother's mouth was open, but upon seeing the emptiness of Lily's bed, the words died out on her tongue. Her eyes traveled to the closet, and she rolled her eyes when she saw Lily standing there. "_Finally_."

"I've been up for five minutes now, Mom," Lily lied, sounding annoyed.

"Just get ready," her mother said, "You know your father is coming home early today and I need you to take care of the kids when I go to get him from the airport with Rachel and Jackie."

Lily groaned. "Why can't Uncle Stan and Uncle Tyler take care of their _own_ kids?"

"They're going to a soccer–sorry, _football_ game."

"Whatever," Lily muttered, turning back to her closet and scanning its contents. Picking out a pair of jean capri's and a green beater, she walked out of her open door, as her mom had forgotten to close it, and to the bathroom to take a shower.

Once she was out of the shower, she got dressed and ready, putting on a little makeup only out of habit, and jogged down the stairs. Upon entering the kitchen, she noticed a plate full of toast already buttered, and grabbed one as she made her way around the house, looking for her brother.

"Will?" she called, her voice a little distorted as her mouth was full with toast. She came to the door to the basement and yelled his name down the stairs, but was only met with Petunia's shrill voice, and she slammed it shut before Petunia was done with whatever she was saying–Lily had tuned her out and consequently had no idea was she was going on about.

She walked into the sitting room and found her mother sitting on the phone with the baby monitor next to her elbow.

"Mom, do you know where Will is?" she asked.

Her mother asked the person on the phone to hold on, putting her hand over the mouth piece, before turning to her daughter. "I'm talking to him on the phone right now, dear. He won't be home today–he's spending the day with an old friend."

"Can I talked to him?" Lily asked, holding her hand out. Her mother gave her the phone and Lily took it, walking into the bathroom so she wouldn't be heard.

"William Philip Evans," she said once she was sitting atop the counter next to the sink.

"Uh-oh," he replied.

"Where are you?"

"At a friends house, Lil."

"What friend?"

"Tracy's."

"Huh, funny, I don't seem to know a Tracy and she is therefore not important, so you'll be coming home and helping me take care of all the kids. Okay?"

"Um, no."

"What do you mean _no_?"

"I can't. Sorry." His voice didn't sound apologetic in the slightest.

Lily groaned–she seemed to be doing that a lot this morning. "Will, you _have_ to. You are aware that Dad's coming home and so Mom's getting him from the airport with Aunt Rachel and Aunt Jackie, and that Uncle Stan and Uncle Tyler are going to a soccer game so they're bringing all of their god-awful kids over here, right?"

"Yes."

"And you _are_ aware that since you won't be here it'll only be me and Pet and she won't stay because she hates me so it will only be me with all of those kids?"

"Yes," he answered wearily.

"And you _are_ aware that it was _you_ who said that I need to get out more and away from Mom and all these kids?"

"Yes, Lily, I know."

She banged her foot against the cabinet out of frustration, and she was sure that Will could hear it from his end of the phone as well. "So you're just going to_ leave_ me with ten kids and a baby by myself?"

"You've done it before," he muttered.

"And do you know how crazy I went that day?" she asked, her voice a little higher than normal.

"Lily, seriously, just suck it up."

There was a short minute of silence on both ends. "Fine, have fun with Tracy," she said bitterly before pressing the _End_ button on her phone and throwing it down on the counter top. She was pretty sure that her brother was rolling his eyes right then, but she didn't care. She was going to have to take care of all those kids by herself again and it didn't seem to bother anyone else but her.

She stormed out of the bathroom, leaving the phone where it was, and grabbed another piece of toast, biting into it angrily.

"Honey, I'm leaving now!" her mother called to her.

"Bye," she said flatly, with suppressed anger.

"Stan and Tyler are going to being the kids over in a second."

"Okay," she answered just as flatly, and was only met with the slam of the screen door.

A split second later, the door to the basement opened, and out came Petunia. She swept past Lily with a look of disdain, grabbing her keys off the table next to the door, and only barely calling out over her shoulder, "I'm going out," before she was out of sight.

"Obviously," Lily muttered, kicking the dining room table leg, but didn't put much force behind it. She sat down at the table, looking out of the window into the screened of patio with a blank expression, waiting idly for her uncles to bring her cousins over. Hopefully they'd forget about their soccer game and take care of their own kids...

It seemed that fate wasn't on her side, though, because just as she was thinking that, the door opened and she could hear Stan's jolly voice saying, "Hello!"

"Hi."

She could feel all of their eyes traveling to where she was sitting at the table, but made no move to turn and look at them. She heard her eight cousins running around her house, but she ignored them as she stared at the blooming flowers outside.

"How are you doing, kid?" her Uncle Tyler asked, his hand ruffling her wet hair. She looked up at him with a blank expression.

"Fine," she answered.

He smiled. "That's good. Where's Belle and Jamie?"

"Asleep." _Just like I should be_, she thought bitterly.

"Still?" her Uncle Stan asked with a laugh, "It's eleven o'clock!"

"They like to sleep late."

Tyler nodded, and Stan said, "Well, we're off, kiddo. Have fun."

They walked out of the door, and Lily could hear a second later the start of an engine, and it tearing off into the distance.

_If only..._she thought sadly as she heard Bryce through the baby monitor as well as the walls. She got up and walked up the stairs to her mother's room. She grabbed Bryce out of his cradle and held him in her arms, taking the bottle that was on her mother's bedside table and letting him suck on it.

She sat on the bed, sighing, and looked up at the ceiling, where already there were spiders in the corners. Wrinkling her nose, she looked down at Bryce. His eyes were heavy and he no longer had his bottle in his mouth. It was instead next to Lily on the bed, and he was once again falling asleep. She placed him back in his cradle and heard giggles from downstairs, followed by footsteps running up the stairs. She left the room, and looked around for whoever had just come up the stairs. She located Marc in the bathroom...eating her toothpaste?

"Ew, Marc, stop it!" He looked over and laughed, dropping the toothpaste on the floor and running around her and back down the stairs. She looked in disgust at the toothpaste bottle, and picked it up between two fingers and dropping it in the trash can.

She was most definitely not taking care of these kids all by herself. Determinedly, she walked into her room and onto her roof, and from there, she jumped onto James' and knocked on his window.

She heard a thump, and then a groan, before the window was thrown open and a bleary-eyed James was standing in front of her, looking confused. "Wha...?"

"You and Sirius are coming to my house."

"What?" he asked. "Why?"

"Because I am not taking care of ten kids and a baby all by myself again."

He rubbed his eyes, walked back into his room, and grabbed his glasses off of the table that was next to his bed, and put them on, before looking at her again. "How'd you get on my roof?"

"I jumped," she said simply, and he only nodded, not looking unfazed in the least.

"So what's happening again?" he asked.

Lily sighed. "You. Sirius. My house. Now."

"Lemme go get Sirius," he muttered, shuffling out of his room slowly.

Lily took this time to look around his room. It looked so much bigger than hers, and his walls were a light blue, like he hadn't painted them since he was eleven. It didn't look that lived in, though his bright red–_Oh, way to mismatch, James_, Lily thought–covers were on the floor, and she figured that when she'd knocked on his window, he'd fallen out of his queen-size bed.

There were pictures of people on his table, some just propped against things like books, and Lily let her nosy side take hold of her, and she walked into his room to look at them. There was one of just him and Sirius–they looked like they were thirteen, and they were sticking out their purple tongues, like they'd just eaten a popsicle. Another was of James, Sirius, and who Lily assumed was Remus. He had light brown hair and brown eyes, though they weren't as nice as James' hazel, and had scars around his face. Lily wondered how he'd gotten all of them, and looking closer, she saw that James and Sirius looked the same, so the picture had to have been pretty recent.

But Remus' scars were out of her mind faster than anything when she looked at the next picture that was just laying there–no frame, not propped up against something, nothing. It was of James and a girl, and God, she was beautiful, with brown hair and light blue eyes. His arm was around her shoulders, and they looked as if they were in the middle of laughing–their faces bright, and their grins large. He was looking at her with adoring eyes, and Lily felt a stab of jealously. James looked exactly the same, like the picture had been taken yesterday, but then...why had he kissed her? Why had he said that she was irresistible? Was _she_ why? Was it that he had a girl somewhere waiting for him?

_Oh, God, _Lily thought with slight nausea. It struck her right then that she could mean absolutely nothing to James. She could just be '_that girl, that summer'_ and nothing else. And even if she hadn't known him that long, he was practically the only person she'd met here in England that she could even slightly call her friend, and that right there made him mean something to her. But he...he had a life here, with friends and girls and everything. He didn't need her.

It may have been that she was being melodramatic, or just that it was this on top of her anger with Will, and her mother, and having to take care of everyone today, and her lack of sleep, but she lifted the picture in her hand, her fingertips dancing over the edges, and closely examined it, thinking sadly that she would never manage to be as pretty as the girl in that picture, because her hair was red and her eyes were green, and she needed to go to the gym–and this girl had brown hair and blue eyes and was completely fit. She was tall, probably about five foot eight, and Lily was short. She had a perfectly straight smile with shining white teeth against her tanned skin. And Lily was pale and her smile was nothing special and...

And she was standing the room of a boy she'd kissed but she didn't really know, snooping through his stuff, in England away from almost everything she'd ever known.

She wanted to be back in America–back to Phoebe and back to Scarlet and sneaking out of her house to go dancing and Phoebe would be getting asked by all of the guys to dance, and Phoebe was always smiling, and Scarlet was standing there trying her hardest to be cynical before letting go and just _dancing_, back to her room with white walls instead of orange because her mom had never let her paint them because they didn't own their house like they did now, back drooling over Brett, the popular boy in her year was way out of her league but she fawned over every year anyway, with his blonde hair and blue eyes and all of his differences compared to James. She wanted to go back, more than anything in the world–and hell, if that meant that she didn't get to kiss James when she cried, she'd do it.

But James and Sirius came tumbling through the door, and Lily put the picture down very quickly, though they hadn't seen her as they were sitting in a heap on the floor.

She cleared her throat, trying to sound as if she hadn't just had a total break down without the tears, and said, "That was smart."

Sirius groaned. "Prongs, get your big arse off of me!"

"It's not that big!" James said indignantly.

"Yeah, whatever," Sirius muttered, pushing James off of him and jumping to his feet. James followed, slower than Sirius, and the three of them stood there for a second.

"Right," Lily said, "we better get over there before Marc eats more toothpaste or something." She walked out of James' room without waiting for them to reply, jumping from his roof to hers. She heard Sirius give a whistle behind her, and turned around once she was in her room, waiting for them to follow her. Sirius winked at her, before jumping onto her roof, and ducking through her large, open window. He threw his arm around her shoulders and gave a joking, "Hey, baby," but Lily hoped that James was enjoying the show. What could you expect? She was a girl, she was bitter, and she was jealous. And his best friend just happened to be very good-looking...

James, however, just laughed and jumped onto her roof and into her room.

"Oh, God, your walls are even brighter in here than they are in my room," he said, shielding his eyes, and Lily decided to ignore him, and led the way out of her room and down the stairs.

When the three of them got to the living room, it seemed that the kids had decided to play a game of tag, girls vs boys, which resulted in many things being knocked over as Taylor tried to catch one of her cousins. They were all running around–in every room, having no remorse as they knocked things down or went somewhere they shouldn't have been.

Lily looked around the room tiredly–she really wished she had gotten more sleep–and was incredibly tempted to just let them do whatever they were doing, because she honestly didn't care anymore.

"Where's your brother Will?" Sirius asked.

"At some girls house," Lily said bitterly.

"Girl as in girlfriend or girl as in girl friend?"

There was a pause. "Was there any difference in that?"Lily asked.

"There was a space."

"Oh, well, I don't know, he just wouldn't come home and help me."

James and Sirius looked at each other before nodding, and saying together, "Yup, it's a girlfriend."

"Good for him then. Will get all of them in one room, please?" She indicated to all of the kids running around, but didn't make any move to stop them.

"Do you think they like porn at this age?" Sirius mused.

"_No_, and even if they did I wouldn't let you put it on for them to watch it," Lily said hotly. "Just...put on a movie–a _clean_ movie–and get them all in the living room to watch it. I'm going to go make some food."

James and Sirius nodded, walking over to the bookcase that held all of the Evans' movies–there were a lot–and lightly bickered at which they should put on. Lily walked into the kitchen, though in all actuality she had no desire to cook, and she wasn't planning on it. Instead, she stood against the counter and closed her eyes, thinking about the picture. Stupid pretty girl...

She heard a sneeze from the ground and looked down. Nothing was there, and then she heard movement from inside the cabinet. If one of them had gotten _in the cabinet_...

She opened all the cabinet doors, and when she opened the last one she was met with her cousin, Steven, who was four, looking back at her.

"Why'd you get in the cabinet!" she all but screamed.

The only response she got was a pot shoved onto her foot.

"Fuck!" she yelped, grabbing the pot and slamming it onto the counter and turning back to Steven.

"Fuck," he said, and giggled.

"No, don't say that!" she said, pulling him out of the cabinet, causing all of the pots and pans that were located there to fall onto the floor in a large clatter.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Stop it!"

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck! Fuck!" She pulled him up and balanced him on her hip, taking him into the living room where James and Sirius had somehow managed to get four of her cousins sitting with rapt attention in front of the TV, being deathly silent.

"You're not allowed to say that," she snapped to him, before putting him in Sirius' lap and said shortly, "Fix it." She turned back around and walked briskly into the kitchen, picking up the pots and pans and putting them back into their rightful places, muttering to herself, "Not even how you play tag...sitting in a cabinet, honestly...who has blue eyes nowadays, anyway?...I bet they were contacts, too...so fake..."

The baby monitor screeched above her, Bryce's cries filling her ears and interrupting her muttering, and she gave a shrill and yet at the same time quiet shriek and abandoned the pots to grab the monitor and turn it off, before going upstairs. When she got there, it seemed that all he wanted was to be held, and she gave him a hard glare before pulling him into her arms, and walking back downstairs. Peeking into the living room, she saw with envy that they'd managed to get all ten of the kids in front of the TV as they watched Pirates of the Carribean, and they were all being quiet. Was she just horrible with kids, or did her cousins just hate her?

She glared at their backs, unbeknownst to them, but it made her feel slightly better about herself as she made her way through the dining room and into the kitchen, no longer bothering to pick up the mess that Steven had made, and instead watched with happiness as they lay on the floor in a mess that she had no intent to pick up. She climbed onto the counter, sitting Bryce on her lap, and let him play with her fingers, the breeze coming from the open window next to her flowing through her hair. It was the most peace she had gotten all morning–at least peace that she was able to appreciate, and she was milking it for all it was worth.

That is–until James broke the silence with his bigheaded, arrogant, I-think-I-can-get-two-girls-at-once, no-good–okay, she really needed to stop that–voice. "Sirius says he wants to play with Bryce," he said, and Lily tensed without realizing it, and just like that–she hated the world again.

"Okay," she said flatly. "Will you bring him to him?" James nodded, and Lily handed him Bryce carefully, but Bryce didn't seem to mind as he'd always taken a liking to James, and happily let James take him. After James was gone, Lily jumped down from the counter, and grabbed one of the pots to throw into the cabinet. It made a large clatter and she gave a smile. Okay, it probably wasn't healthy to get enjoyment out of that...

Ignoring it as the thought nagged in her mind, she continued to throw pots and pans in. She heard footfalls coming towards her and silently hoped that it was her mother home early, though she knew it wasn't since the closest airport was two hours away, and her mother wouldn't be back for a while.

Despite her hopes, though, it was James again, and he leaned against the counter across from where she was sitting on the floor. Her pots and pans had run out, so she had nothing to throw, and she stood up to lean against the counter facing him, shutting the cabinet.

"You seem tense," he noted.

She shrugged. "I've had better days."

He nodded. "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Okay." He walked over to her, his eyes holding slight concern, and rubbed his hands up and down her arms, and she could tell that he was trying to be soothing. Despite her anger at him, her breath caught, and goose bumps rose on her arms, but she held her resolve and, pretending to be hungry, she left his touch and walked over to the refrigerator.

She glanced at the contents, but nothing caught her interest. It all actually made her want to empty the contents of her stomach, so she shut it with a slam, turning back around. James was looking at her with curious eyes, but she avoided them as best she could.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Lily nodded before his question was finished. "Yup. I'm fine."

They stood there in awkward silence for a couple minutes. "Are you sure?"

"_Yes_, James," Lily snapped.

"I was just asking–" he said defensively.

"I noticed," she said shortly.

"What's _wrong_? I didn't even _do_ anything."

"Do you have a girlfriend, James?" she asked abruptly.

"Wait," he said, looking confused. "_What?_"

"Do you have a girlfriend?" she repeated, looking at him impatiently.

"No! Why else would I have kissed you?"

"I don't know–pity, something like that!"

"It wasn't pity, Lily," James said flatly.

"Well, I was _crying_ at the time!" she exclaimed, her arms out.

"That doesn't mean it was pity! Why would you even think it was pity in the first place?" he asked.

She paused and scuffed her shoe on the tile flooring. She didn't want to sound _clingy_, but it was just...oh, she was going to sound clingy wasn't she? She could picture fate laughing in her face right now. Maybe karma will join in too. Hell, even Merlin.

"What is it, Lily?" James asked impatiently.

"I just...I saw that picture of that girl and you, and I don't mean to sound...it's just–you're the only person here that I really know, except Sirius, and..." She scuffed her shoe again, "God, it's not at _all_ as stalker-ish as that sounded."

"You thought she was my girlfriend?" he asked, and Lily nodded sheepishly. "She's just a friend of mine," he said, taking a step towards her so they were standing closely. "I promise." He pecked her on the lips. "I like you, Lily. I know I don't know you that well, but..." he shrugged. "I want to."

A smile slowly made its way onto Lily's face. "You know," she said, throwing her arms around his shoulders. "I think the feeling may just be mutual."

He grinned at her. "I was hoping so."

**AN:** Review & you'll get a...cyber-hug. & my eternal love, which should mean a hell of a lot to you. 


	6. I'm Bringing Sexy Back

**Disclaimer:** I can't come up with anything clever to say, so I'm just gonna say i don't own Harry Potter. I also don't own the music that is mentioned.

**AN:** I kind of hate this chapter, but I'm updating because I want more reviews because they make me feel better about myself. Sorry, I'm feeling kind of emo today; I'm a little sick (I was just sick last month too!), I'm freaking over school, and I'm sort of having mixed feelings about a lot of things...namely people who shall remain nameless. Anyway, I got some reviews last chapter saying that they wanted Hogwarts to come soon, or some magic, and I think I'm gonna speed up the summer because frankly I want Hogwarts too. Especially since I've got a lot of ideas for what's going to happen. It should be pretty interesting. There was one review that I also got that had lots of questions (hehe) and I'm going to do my best to answer these in later chapters, though some of them are answered in this chapter. The questions about James probably won't be answered until Hogwarts since this is mainly about Lily and she doesn't know he's a wizard so he doesn't tell her much about his family. OKAY, moving on to the people who get cyber-hugs and my eternal love...

**messyblackhair66:** Hogwarts will come in a couple of chapters, sorry! But you did give me a good idea, I think I'm going to use it ina sense. Thanks!

**SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind**

Alaskan Chick

DreamMeDelirious

sncaggie

firewalker32

Holy Cross Baby

xxxHPxxx: It's okay:). & some of your questions will be answered in here as well as different chapters. Like I said in the AN, though, James will stay a bit of a mystery. Hmm, that kinda makes him even more sexy ;).

**BrazilianPrincess**

thestoicwarrior

simply infatuated

Bumbledbee

Thanks & on to the next chapter!

**Chapter Six: I'm Bringing Sexy Back**

It seemed that although Lily and James were not officially a couple, they still very much acted like it. Almost all of their free time was spent together now that their feelings were out in the open, and their nights were spent on rooftops.

Tonight happened to be one of those nights, and Lily was laying on her roof, hands behind her head, staring at the stars, with James doing the exact same thing parallel to her on his own roof.

"I've known Sirius since we were eleven," he was saying, "but he's lived with me since we were fifteen."

"Why?" Lily asked.

"His parents are really, er, racist. But he's not, so they never really saw eye to eye. When we were fifteen, over the summer, they got in this big row, and Sirius left. Came over to my house and he's been coming here for breaks and vacations from school ever since."

"Wow."

James shrugged, as he had expected that sort of reaction. "Yeah."

"Lily!" a male voice from inside her house called, and her eyes widened.

"Oh shit," she said, rising to her feet and tumbling into her window, grabbing a magazine that'd be thrown onto the floor as she went, before sitting on her bed and trying to make it seem like she'd been there the entire time.

"What?" she called back.

Her door opened, and in walked her father, Luke Evans. He'd been home for two weeks now, and the house had been under slightly more order since then, though how much order can you really have with two sons, three daughters, and eight nieces and nephews almost constantly at your house?

He walked over to Lily's bed, sitting on the edge of it, in clear view of the window, and James ducked down. Luke Evans' slightly large build could be seen–he'd been a wrestler when he was younger. He liked to seem intimidating, but truthfully he was a big softie. He had red hair that he'd passed down to his daughter and youngest son, but his was more ginger than Lily's was, and was curly, and he was much, much more freckled. He had such dark brown eyes that you could only see his pupil if he was in the direct sunlight, and almost always seemed to have a five o'clock shadow.

"Lily, dear," he said, "I was just wondering–" He stopped abruptly, looking out Lily's window. "Is that a boy outside your window?" he asked.

"What were you wondering, Daddy?" She made a point to ignore his question.

"I was wondering if there was a boy outside your window."

"Why would there be a boy outside my window?" Lily asked innocently. Or so she hoped.

Her innocent act seemed to be faulty, though, because her father ignored her, and curiously walked towards her window. Lily hoped that James had had enough sense to go back into his room, but just when she was hoping, she was met with a, "Bloody hell!"

And then a thump.

And then someone moaning, "Owww."

And that someone suspiciously sounded like James.

Lily quickly got to her feet and joined her father next to the window. She looked at his roof–there was nothing there. His room–nope, not there either. But then she looked down.

Aw, shit.

His bedroom door slammed open, and Sirius shouted, "Prongs?" He saw Lily and who he assumed to be her father standing at her window, both staring downwards with their heads turned to the side, wincing. He flew to the window, looked down, put two and two together, and promptly burst into hysteria.

"You–you bloody _idiot_," he gasped out through his laughter. "Even _I–I'm_ not t–that _stup–pid_!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," they could hear James just faintly saying, and this made Sirius' laughter escalate to a whole new level.

"Do you think we should go see if he's okay?" Lily asked curiously after a minute or two, her head still cocked to one side.

Her father seemed to regain his voice just as James' mother came out of his front door. "I daresay that boy just jumped off the roof!" he exclaimed. He seemed to notice the seriousness of the situation–though he was pretty much the only one besides James–and left Lily's room, bounding down the steps and out of the house. Lily groaned and followed him, wondering if her father was just scary enough to make you jump off of a roof.

She came outside behind her father–she could still hear Sirius laughing in James' room, and imagined that by know he was rolling on the floor–and watched with amusement as James' mother smacked James upside the head.

"What do you think you're doing, jumping off of roofs like that?" she asked him, but he just groaned in response.

"Ankle...ow...make it better," he mumbled.

"I can't believe you, jumping off a _roof_, what makes you think that's safe, young man? Honestly, wait until your father gets home and hears about this, about his son jumping off a roof! I mean, first you set my kitchen_–my kitchen!_–on fire, and now this? I thought you were seventeen, James Potter! And Sirius would you stop it with all that racket!" she screeched upwards.

"S–sorry, Mrs P. It's just...he jumped off a roof!" he fell into another bout of laughter. "All...all 'cause of Lily's dad!" He continued his laughter, and Lily thought it'd be incredibly ironic–and hilarious–if while he was rolling on the floor laughing, he happened to fall off the roof as well.

James' mother looked up and saw Lily stand there in bemusement and her father looking apologetic. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I think this might be my fault..."

"Oh, don't be sorry, he probably did it because he thought it'd be funny."

"I did _not_."

His mother ignored him. "Emma Potter," she said to Lily's father, holding out her hand for him to shake.

He took her hand and answered, "Luke Evans. Do you think we should get him to the ER? I think he might have broken something."

"Oh! Yes, I s'pose we should. Though I say it serves you right, jumping off a roof," she finished, muttering. She grabbed her son's arm, and Mr. Evans helped in hauling him onto his feet, supporting him between the two of them as it hurt him to walk on his left ankle. He looked over at Lily.

"Lily," he said, drawing out her name, pouting.

"Hey, _I_ didn't tell you to jump off of a two-story roof," she said, holding up her hands.

"Padfoot, shut up!" James screamed up to his window, where Sirius could still be heard laughing.

"Are you going to come, dear?" Emma Potter asked Lily politely, and Lily looked over at her with a jolt.

"Sure," she answered, nodding. "Sirius, are you coming?" she yelled up to him.

"Oh, _definitely_," he answered, and the pounding of his feet against the steps could be heard from outside. He threw the door open, chuckling to himself, and walked over to where they all were standing."Nice move, mate," he said once he got there, smiling appreciatively at James. "Made my summer."

"Fuck your mother," James answered, wincing at his ankle.

"Go ahead," Sirius said with a wave of his hand. "She needs it."

"Boys!" Mrs. Potter scolded, but Lily had seen her lips twitch in recognition of the horridness that was Mrs. Black that Lily had pictured in her mind.

"Sorry, Mrs. P.," Sirius answered casually and James shrugged as best as he could.

"Can we go to the ER now?" James asked pleadingly. Everyone rolled their eyes at him, and Lily ran back into her house to tell her mother where they were going, before following them towards her fathers van, which they were going to take to the ER, as Mrs. Potter's car was too small, as was Lily's. She slid in after James, with her father and Mrs. Potter up front chatting happily, and Sirius sitting in the back seat by himself. Once she was settled with her seatbelt on, James plopped his feet down on her lap.

"Ew, get your grubby feet off of me," she said, pushing them off.

"Ow, Lily, ankle!"

"You were the pansy who had to jump off of a roof at the sight of my father."

"Hey!" he said indignantly, "he's big!" After a seconds pause he added, "And I am not a pansy!"

"It took you a second to notice that," Lily noted.

"That's because I was busy defending myself."

Lily looked at him. "So you don't find the need to defend yourself about being a pansy? Oh, okay, I get it now."

"I'm not a pansy!" he pouted.

Lily heard Sirius in he back seat sing-song, "Pansy," drawing out the word, and she snorted.

"That was good, Sirius," she said, putting her hand behind her for him to slap. When he did, this seemed to further irk James, and he pouted even more. Lily couldn't imagine his lower lip being able to go any farther out.

But their bickering ceased as Lily's father announced they were at the hospital. Looking out her window, Lily saw that they were indeed there, and she opened her door and hopped down. Her father and Mrs. Potter were going over to help James out of the car on the other side, and Sirius rolled his eyes, leaving out of Lily's side.

"Big baby," he muttered, and Lily laughed.

They entered the Emergency Room quickly, and stood at the desk, waiting for the woman sitting there to get off the phone. The ER seemed to have absolutely no one there–the good thing about such a small town–the bad thing, however, seemed to be personal phone calls, which was what the woman at the desk was most definitely having.

"Oh, yeah," she giggled, chomping on her gum as a cow would, "And did you hear what she said?"

This went on for a second of two longer before Mrs. Potter got fed up, got the pen and form off of the woman's desk, and proceeded in filling it out.

"Hold on a second, Martha," the woman said, and she put the receiver down. "Ma'am, do you know what you're doing?"

Mrs. Potter looked up wearily. "Tracy," she said–where had Lily heard that name before?–"I'm completely positive that I've been here enough times to know which forms to fill out and how to do so."

"Oh," Tracy giggled again. "Sorry, Mrs. Potter. Didn't recognize you there."

"Uh-huh," Mrs. Potter answered, nodding her head, before looking back down at the forms. Her hand flew over the form, looking as if she'd done it one too many times–which Lily imagined that she had.

Tracy picked the receiver back up, and went on with her conversation. She grabbed a nail file that was on her desk, and chomped on her gum. _Chomp, chomp, scratch, scratch_, it was really starting to annoy Lily. Instead of letting her eye start to twitch with suppressed scathing comments, she listened in on Tracy's conversation, and consequently drowned out the _chomp, scratch_. "So then I was like, you wanna come over? And he was like yeah–" Lily really wanted to tell her that there was an 'e' in the word 'yeah' and that it was not pronounced 'yah'. "–and so then Will came over to my house and his little sister called and was like–"

Will!

_That's_ where she'd heard the name Tracy before.

Wait...

"–being all annoying and stuff and asking him to come home and I was like, seriously, he's dating me, not you."

Oh, no, she did not.

"Excuse me!" Lily shrieked, and all eyes flew to her. "Sorry to interrupt your chat,_ Tracy_, but that annoying little sister you're talking about just happens to be _me._ And it just so happens that the reason I was asking him to come home was because I had to take care of ten kids and a baby all by _myself_, and I wanted some _help_, and _not _because I wanted to date my older brother, you airheaded _twat_."

So maybe the gum and the nail file got to her more than she thought it had. And maybe she'd spent a little too much time in England if she was going to start using their lingo, like the word twat. But personally, she didn't much care because she was a redhead with a temper to match, and she'd just been called annoying by a girl who didn't know the meaning of closing her mouth.

"I am not an airheaded twat!" Tracy cried indignantly.

"Yeah, and I'm the mother fucking Queen of England," Lily said sarcastically.

"Lily!" her father admonished. She decided to ignore him.

"Yeah, well at least my hair matches with the clothes I wear!" Tracy shot back.

Lily growled and looked down at her shirt. "I'm wearing a black shirt, dimwit, _everything_ matches with black!"

"At least my hair's pretty!"

"Hey!" both Lily and her father shouted, as they were both redheads.

James, however, said, "Her hair is too pretty!" Lily and Tracy glared at him for interrupting their argument, and he gave a sheepish, "Carry on." Sirius snickered at him, and James just punched him in the shoulder before turning back to the argument with rapt attention.

"I can see my brother has wonderful taste!" Lily was saying.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tracy screeched, standing up.

"It _means_ that you're a bimbo!"

"Well, I'm pretty so shut up!"

"See, only a _bimbo_ would think of that as a comeback!"

"I'm not a bimbo!" Tracy said hotly.

Lily turned calm, and said, "Learn how to spell bimbo, then come talk to me."

Mrs. Potter decided that Lily needed to have the last word, stepping into their argument, and saying, "Um, I think we'll just finish these forms over there." She pointed through the door that led back into the doctor rooms, and Tracy gave a _humph! _before pressing the button to make the door unlock.

Lily looked over at her pompously, before waltzing through the door behind James, Mrs. Potter, and her father, who were trying to all enter at the same time. Sirius came after her, snickering again, and put a hand on her shoulder.

"That was good, Lily," he said, mimicking her earlier words.

She laughed and nodded, her anger from Tracy already vanished quickly. "I try."

A half an hour later, Lily, James, Sirius, Mrs. Potter, and Mr. Evans were sitting in a waiting room, waiting impatiently for x-ray results of James' ankle. They'd been rushed through everything even though no one was here, and they had been hoping that the x-ray results would come just as quickly.

Lily exhaled out of her mouth, dragging it out for as long as possible out of sheer boredom. She was sitting cross-legged in her chair, her elbow resting on her knee and her chin resting on her hand. James was sitting next to her on a sofa, his leg kicked out across is so no one else could sit on it, his head dangling off the end, as it had been for the last few minutes so he was rather red. Sirius was sitting on the carpeted floor against the sofa, his head lying on it as well, staring at the ceiling and trying to make figures out of the dots. Mr. Evans was sitting in a chair across from them, fiddling his thumbs, and Mrs. Potter sat next to him, flipping lazily through a furnishing magazine.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Sirius mutter-sang, his foot keeping tempo.

Mr. Evans looked over at him. "What?" he asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Song," he said, and Mr. Evans nodded.

Ten minutes later, James mutter-sang, "Pop, lock, and drop it..."

Lily snorted, and James' mother looked over at him. "What did you say, dear?" she asked.

"Nothing, Mum."

Another ten minutes passed. "This is why I'm hot..." Sirius mumbled.

This time, though, before Mr. Evans or Mrs. Potter could ask him just why he had mumbled that, a male doctor walked over to them, and asked them to follow him. All of them trekked behind him, winding their way through hallways and filed into a small doctors room.

"Well," the doctor said once they were all crammed inside, "my name is Dr. Philips. I took a look at James' x-rays, and I've come to the conclusion that he just twisted it."

This comment was met with silence.

"Honestly, it's a bad twist," he continued, "but nothing is broken or sprained or fractured or anything."

Everyone paused, before Sirius called out somewhere in the back of the room, "Are you kidding me?"

Dr. Philips gave a small smile and shook his head. There was still silence, but after a second, it was broken by Sirius–then again, when is it not?–who had burst into laughter for the thousandth time that night.

"But...it really hurts," James said pathetically.

"I'd think so," Dr. Philips said, "but all I can say is stay off it for a week or two, take some Tylenol, and you'll be as good as new."

"So you're saying," Mrs. Potter said, "that I came out here really for nothing?"

Dr. Philips looked hesitant, and said slowly, "If you'd like to put it that way..."

Mrs. Potter glared at James, and he grinned. "I love you, Mum," he tried as an excuse.

"You better..." she mumbled.

After everything was sorted out, they all left the hospital and went back home. Lily, when she woke the next morning, would only remember bits and pieces, as she was usually letting her mind wander. She thought about America mostly. There were times where she'd randomly get hit by a sharp pain of homesickness, no matter where she was, but they were becoming more steady than when she'd originally arrived, because back then she was still hoping that it was all a joke–that she could go back. But reality was taking its toll on her, and she was coming crashing down. This was it. England was it. James and Sirius were it. She supposed that when her schooling was over that she could go back to America...but would she really want to by then?

There was something major that was bothering her, though, even more so than America. Her family had bought a big house. They'd gotten her a car, they'd gotten Petunia a car, and although Will paid for his motorcycle, her parents had given him a certain amount to help. They were raising a baby as well as Lily and Belle and Jamie–sometimes even Will and Petunia too, who were in college, so they had to pay for some of their tuition, too. They had two of their own cars because all of them didn't fit in one, and her father needed a smaller car for work.

Her parents didn't have the most high paying jobs, either. Her mother was only a painter, and she'd had her own studio back in America, but she'd sold it when they had moved. She was looking around for somewhere that she could use to make a new studio, but so far nothing was working. As for Lily's father, he was a wrestling manager, though not for anyone who had made it anywhere big, which had posed a problem when they were planning on moving to England. He'd managed to give his clients off to a close friend that he had, who was also a wrestling manager, and he now had a job as the wrestling coach and gym teacher at the local highschool.

So where had all the money come from?

**AN:** Review please! You'll get another chapter faster. Maybe...just review and you'll see. & Tell me if you liked it, loved it, hated it, wish I would die, wish I was your best friend... 


	7. Butterfly Pinky Rings

**Disclaimer:** I only wish I owned Harry Potter.

**AN:** I know I said I'd update sooner if I got a lot of reviews, and I did get a bunch of them, but I'm still updating a little late, so, hem, sorry. Also, there's still no Hogswart in this one because I want a couple things to happen before that, and some things to be explained. Oh, and I got a new penname in case you hadn't noticed. I'm still me though:). Anyways, thanks to...

**DreamMeDelirious**

EternalWords

Alaskan Chick

Holy Cross Baby

iluvreading

thestoicwarrior: They'll be going into seventh year. I know that they're both supposed to be Heads, but this _is_ an AU fic. Plus, I think I've got a few ideas about that.

** Barnabus II**

simply infatuated: Haha, oh yeah. I mean, painter and gym class teacher, FBI agents...same thing:).

** firewalker32**

BrazilianPrincess

potterlady4691

sncaggie

xxxHPxxx

Unseen Moon

LazyBoyGilmore

Miharu Fujiwara

TheNewKid25

SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind

eternal-charmer

EmeraldLily06

Yay, I love them! Thanks for the reviews from all of you, and keep it up!

**Chapter Seven: Butterfly Pinky Rings**

Lily frantically searched her bedroom for her purse. Honestly, she had no idea where it had gotten to, she'd had it just a moment ago. And she really needed it because it had all her money and her makeup and–_oh, God_–it had her wand. She had it just five minutes ago, and now it was gone. All she had done was go to the bathroom! Letting out a frustrated high-pitched growl, she started tearing apart her unmade bed. Hadn't she thrown it there before she'd gone to the bathroom? Maybe? If she was lucky?

Her comforter was making it hard to find, and she was going to be late if she didn't find it in–she checked her watch–negative three minutes.

Oh, well this was nice.

After the realization that something was going on with her family that Lily didn't know about, she had decided that she was going to get a summer job and help–even if they didn't want her to. Petunia had gone off to college in America again, and Will–well, Will was almost constantly busy, mostly with Tracy.

She remembered fondly when she had come home last week from the hospital and seen her older brother lounging around watching the TV. She had remembered almost instantly what Tracy had said, and her temper flared immediately.

She had marched over to the couch where he was sprawled, and gave him a good push, which resulted in him falling onto the hard wood floors.

"Ow!" he had yelled.

"Your girlfriend Tracy is a–" Well, maybe I shouldn't really say what Lily had said about Tracy. She had made sure to use lots of foul language, cursing like a sailor, and by the way Will's eyebrows had shot up, she assumed he hadn't heard a quarter of the words she threw his way. After that, she stuck her nose up in the air, and marched her way to her room.

Lily gave a soft smirk in remembrance. _Good times._

Her hand hit a buckle under her covers, and she made a grab for it, revealing her purse under the plush of her comforter. She gave a happy squeal, swung it over her shoulder, and made her way downstairs, grabbing an orange as she went.

"Mom!" she called. "I'm going to work!"

"Work?" her mother asked, sticking her head out of the dining room to see her daughter standing at the door.

"Yeah. Work."

"When did you get a job?"

"I told you. Last week. It's my first day today."

"Where do you work?"

"At a café on main street."

"Oh, okay," her mother said, relaxing. "Have fun."

Nodding, Lily left the house, saying good-bye over her shoulder, and peeling her orange. She knew that her fingers were going to smell like orange all day, but it didn't bother her much. It was fruity and tangy, and mixed with the smell of the outdoors and the faint smell of the water just a couple blocks away, it added an extra bounce in Lily's step.

She got to the café in a little under five minutes as the walk was not very long, and took a moment to look at it. _Café_, it said in one of the windows next to the door.

_How original_, Lily though wryly.

The café was small, with windows on either side of the door and the building in between a market and a convenience store. The door was propped open with a rubber stopper, and stools and high tables could be seen through the window, as well as the counter in the back of the store where you ordered, coffee machines behind it and a door to the backroom. It was probably only a little bigger than Lily's bedroom.

She walked in slowly, her hands dug into her pockets. A boy who looked to be around her age was standing at the cash register, trying to get it to open. After a second or two, he made a noise of anger, and pushed all the buttons as fast as he could. There was a _ching!_ and the cash register opened. He rolled his eyes and started putting quarters in their designated spot.

Lily took a second to survey him. He looked to be a different nationality, with dark tan skin and brown, sparkling eyes. He had short brown hair and was about six foot. He was dressed casually with an apron on over his clothes, and a ring on his pinky. It struck her then that this little English town was hogging all the hotties.

"Um," Lily said, "Excuse me." He looked up at her with a quizzical expression, and she continued. "I was just hired and it's my first day, so I don't really know what to do..." she trailed off and looked at him uncertainly.

His face spread into a smile, and his teeth was bright against his skin–brighter that the blue-eyed girl in the picture with James. "Hey, Gee!" he yelled over his shoulder towards to the door to the backroom. "New girl's here!"

A bang echoed off the walls coming from the backroom, followed by a short woman. She seemed to be in her twenties, maybe thirties if she aged well, and had to be shorter than five feet. She had pale blue eyes and light brown hair that was pulled into a bun. She gave off a distinct motherly vibe, but at the same time a best friend vibe. She came rushing up, flour evident on her face, and her blue apron dirty, and her cheeks were flushed, but a smile was in place.

She came up to Lily and smiled even wider. "Hello," she greeted, "I see you've already met Paris." The boy behind the counter gave a wave, and the ring on his pinky seemed to have a charm on it, for it gave a very quiet jingle. It was girly...but at the same time incredibly cute?

"My name's Georgia. But everyone just calls me Gee."

Lily smiled back at the woman. "I'm Lily."

"Oh, another flower!" Gee said pleasantly.

"What?" Lily asked, confused.

"My daughter's name is Delilah, she also works here. She should have been here by now, but it seems she's late..."

Paris snorted. "She's _always_ late."

Gee huffed. "Yes, well, whatever. Anyway, that's everyone."

"_Everyone?_"

Gee smiled. "Yes. This is a rather small café. And I'm the cook as well as the owner. Paris–my nephew–and Delilah have always come in and helped me with the café. We needed a little extra help, though, what with them becoming independent and whatnot! They didn't want to come in as much. That's where you come in."

"Oh." Lily couldn't really think of much else that could have been said.

"Anyway," Gee continued, "here's your apron, and I suppose you can help Paris try to fix that cash register for now. He'll show you around and show you how to deal with customers." Gee walked back into the backroom.

"If we ever get any," Paris mumbled.

Lily smiled as she pulled her apron on over her head and reached behind her to tie it.

"So what brings you to the _Café_?" he asked.

"Money," she said honestly, smiling again.

"Good reason."

"I think so." Finally finishing tying her apron, she went behind the counter to stand next to Paris and the cash register. She was met with the sweet and musky smell of his cologne, and had he not been standing right there, she was sure she would have swooned.

After all, it wasn't as if her and James were an actual _item..._

Immediately after that thought came into her mind, she mentally smacked herself. She was right–no, her and James were not an item, but they had been sneaking kisses and holding hands and talking on rooftops until the wee hours of the morning. It didn't much matter if she _called_ him her boyfriend, it was simply the fact that he was in every essence just that, and whether or not she had a title for him would not change it.

"Did you hear anything I just said?"

Lily snapped her head up to Paris' dark brown eyes. "What?"

"I was talking to you about the _donuts_," he said, smiling, and pointed to the covered donuts that were on the counter.

"Oh. Sorry I missed it?"

"Mhm, you should be." He was nodding along with everything he said. "I mean, the way they're _made_...it keeps me up for hours at night just thinking about them."

She bit back a laugh. "Really?" He nodded. "I'm more of a bear-claw person myself..."

"You should be disowned," he said lazily, examining his fingernails, the charm on his ring shining in the light. It caught Lily's eye and she stared at it for a second. She couldn't really figure out what it was–for a second she thought it was a butterfly, but the thought was immediately discarded.

He must of caught her staring, for he smirked and shook his hand in front of her face. "Wondering what it is?"

"Um, yes."

"It's a butterfly."

Oh.

So she had been right.

Well...that was...odd. Then again, he could just very much like butterflies. Oh, or maybe he found it and was saving it for someone!

"I'm gay," he confirmed.

_Damn it!_ Lily thought, and she looked up into his eyes and tried to not show how disappointed she was at that fact and shrugged. "Cool."

A cell phone ringtone was heard from the front door of the café, and Paris and Lily turned as one to the source. In the doorway stood a girl who looked a year or two younger than Lily at the short stance of around five foot three, with celery green eyes and brown hair with natural dirty blonde highlights running throughout it. She had on shorts, flip-flops, and a yellow tank top, and she stumbled in, fishing through her pocket for her cell phone.

"Hey Delilah," Paris greeted, and she looked up from her searching.

"Hi Paris." Her eyes traveled to Lily, "And...?"

"New girl," Paris answered.

"She got a name?" They continued to talk like she wasn't standing awkwardly right next to them.

"Lily."

Delilah nodded, and said hello to Lily. The ringtone cut off, and Delilah cursed, once again trying to get her cell phone out of her pocket.

"Why don't you just wear pants that fit you?" Paris asked, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed.

Delilah looked up at him and glared. "These are my favorite pair."

Paris snorted–he seemed to do that far too much. "They're too small to _count_."

Delilah rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to understand fashion, Paris, you're gay."

He shrugged. "Whatever."

Lily continued to stand awkwardly at the side, letting the conversation flow past her. This café was made up of family–and her. She had a feeling that most of the conversations that were going to happen were going to go over her head and she wouldn't understand half of it. That and they were Muggles.

"Who was it?"

"Sirius."

Lily's ears perked up and Paris groaned. "Must you hang out with the guys from my school? They're too old for you anyways."

"Sirius?" Lily asked.

Two sets of eyes snapped to her, and Delilah looked at her oddly. "Yeah."

"He lives next door to me."

"Not you too," Paris sighed.

Delilah adopted a dreamy smile. "Isn't he hot?"

"Um," Lily said, feeling it awkward to be talking about Sirius that way–he _was_ James' best friend. He was also very hot, though... "Yeah," Lily continued.

"Same with James," Delilah said, not paying attention to Lily at all, "But he–hey wait." Her eyes snapped up to Lily's, and the two different shades of green connected. "You're James' girl-next-door?"

Lily nodded.

"So you're the one he's always talking about." Delilah's eyebrows danced.

Lily smiled and gave a small blush. "I suppose so."

The rest of the day passed in a similar manner, and most of the conversation was centered around James and Sirius. Delilah had mentioned Remus, but Lily had not met him and therefore couldn't contribute her input. Paris remained quiet most of the time, but his gay tendencies forced him to make comments once and a while about either boy.

They talked about other things as well, and Lily had learned that Delilah had just turned sixteen, and Paris had been seventeen for a while now. They were cousins, but Paris had lived with Gee and Delilah since he was four when his mother had overdosed and passed away and his father had left when Paris came into the picture. Paris and Delilah acted like brother and sister because of this, and Gee was definitely Paris' mother, even if she was technically his aunt.

But by the end of the day, Lily was sure that she had more smile lines than she had when she had woken up that morning, and she was now more comfortable in her new small town home.

Even if Paris was hot and gay.

**AN:** Okay, now that my hands hurt from typing this and all the html, review and tell me if you liked it! I'm thinking...at least twenty five reviews? And more would be absolutely wonderful. Thanks for reading:).


	8. Kill His Puppy

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter.

**AN:** Okay, this is pretty much the chapter you've all been waiting for. Wanna know why? Cuz THEY GO TO HOGWARTS! Okay, yes, I did it earlier than I planned. But whatever. I wanted magic too. Plus I've had this idea running around in my head for ages. Tell me if you like it, though, I'm a little iffy. Oh, & I didn't get nearly as many reviews as I hoped. That kinda hurt my feelings, so here's an extra big thanks to:

**JP's girl 4 life:** you'll find out soon.

**BrazilianPrincess**

RedtheBrunette

AlaiLuver

eternal-charmer

xxxHPxxx: I hope this chapter's more interesting for you.

**Miharu Fujiwara**

DreamMeDelirious

thestoicwarrior

simply infatuated: haha, I don't really know if that means they're gay. I wasn't even going to make him gay in the beginning, but then I thought it'd be cool if he had this pinky ring, and I couldn't think of a charm, so I just used a butterfly (cuz I have one like that) and then I was like 'hmm, that's kinda fruity' so I made him gay. But it works:).

**SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind**

Unseen Moon

LazyBoyGilmore

**Chapter Eight: Kill His Puppy**

The weeks passed, and eventually Lily lost track of the days of the week, even with her calendar filled with red x's and countdowns. She did notice, however, when August 31 finally rolled around, and how the morning smelt of freshly cut grass. She rolled over uneasily in her bed, letting her nervous green eyes roam her bedroom. Although she missed America terribly–more than anyone or anything she'd ever missed–she'd grown accustomed to waking up in this bedroom, her bright orange walls reflecting the sunlight, and her curtains blowing from her open window which let in a soft breeze. She liked the smell of coffee that would always greet her, and how it always motivated her out of bed to get ready to work.

But today it smelt of grass.

The scent did nothing to settle the uneasy feeling that was brewing in her stomach, and she could almost feel the wheels turning in her head, trying to find a way out of leaving the next day for Hogwarts, away from her family, away from her orange walls, away from the scent of coffee, and most of all, away from James, Sirius, Paris, and Delilah.

Paris and Delilah. They were most unusual people she had met, but ever since she had started working at the Café, she got more of a sense of home with them than she had all summer. Gee had turned into her second mother, and Paris and Delilah were like her brother and sister.

But they were family, and she was not. And she had a terrible feeling of dread that when she went off to Hogwarts, all of that would change.

And what about Sirius? Oh, she'd miss him–his embarrassing and sometimes scarring antics and all. He had definitely become the comic relief of her English days, and if you added James to the equation, she had been sure she was going to crack a rib from all her laughing.

But James...she supposed she'd miss him the most. He'd never officially asked her out, and he never flat out called her his girlfriend, but she knew that the slow kisses and hand-holding and his hand on the small of her back, guiding her safely when they walked, had to mean something. It meant too much to her for it to mean absolutely nothing to him.

She had promised to write to them all, but what if she didn't in the end? What if she was so caught up in life at Hogwarts that she forgot about her magical summer, more magical than anything involving real magic had ever been in her life? She didn't want to get torn away from home again. She didn't.

"Lily!" she heard her mothers voice calling, interrupting her thoughts. "Time to get up, sweetie! You're supposed to be meeting Paris in two hours."

Oh, right. Her and Paris were supposed to be taking a stroll through town, since they both didn't have to work today. He was going off to school as well as her, and they had wanted to spend time together before they both left. James also was at his friend, Remus', house until later that day, so she had decided to spend her last day here with Paris.

She sighed, closing her eyes a little longer than necessary, and threw her blankets off of her. Her bare legs turned cold, despite the fact that there was a warm breeze, and she hurried to pull on her pajama pants over her boxers.

She got ready for her day the same way she did everyday–shower, breakfast, get dressed, make-up–but today she did it slowly, not putting much effort into it. After she was ready, she trudged downstairs in capris and a short-sleeved v-neck top and flip-flops, eyeliner and mascara done.

Lily swept her hand over the railing of her stairs. This would be one of the last times she touched that railing until Christmas.

Saying goodbye to her family, she left the house relatively quiet, and she continued like this until she got to the Café, where her and Paris had agreed to meet. When she arrived, he was leaning casually against the brick wall, a cigarette dangling from his lips, with one foot propped up against the wall.

"Pear-Bear," she called lazily, "smoking is bad for you."

He lifted his eyes to her just as lazily, but his voice sounded excited. "Yeah, but it adds to my image, don't you think?"

Lily stopped in front of him, taking the cigarette from his lips, and expertly stepping on it with her shoe. "No," she answered.

A small pout developed on his lips. "Fine."

The day continued in such a manner, and they laughed through the hours. Eventually it was five o'clock, and Paris' arm was slung over Lily's shoulders in a brotherly fashion.

Well, it was supposed to be a brotherly fashion. Though James didn't seem to think so when he walked up to them.

"Martinez," James said curtly to Paris.

Paris nodded in return. "Potter."

James eyed his arm around Lily, and Paris rolled his eyes. "You know I'm not into her." Still, Paris retracted his arm, letting his thumb hang off of his pocket.

"I thought you were at Remus' house," Lily spoke up. He had told her last week when he'd left that he would probably be coming back around nine or ten today, but it was only five.

"I was," he answered. "But I came back early."

Lily nodded, and opened her mouth to answer, but Paris cut her off.

"Well!" he said, clapping his hands. "I'll leave you two lovebirds, now." Flashing the peace sign, Paris walked in the direction of the Café, hands clasped behind his head as if he didn't have a care in the world.

Lily smiled. "He's something."

James looked awkward. "Yeah. Something. Do you want to walk to the beach with me?"

Lily smiled again. "Sure."

They walked casually to the beach, but there seemed to be something else on James' mind. His hand was on the small of her back like it had been many times before, lightly but reassuring. When they reached the beach, it started to look gloomy, gray clouds overhead and Lily thought she faintly heard the rumble of thunder in the distance.

The sand fought its way into Lily's flip-flops, and she could feel it between her toes as they stood at the edge of the water. James looked up at the clouds, his hands in his pockets, and a strained look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, concerned.

James shook his head. "Nothing."

"It's obviously something."

James paused. "Why do you think Paris is something?"

Lily paused as well. Was he really upset about that? "He's just my friend, James."

He let his foot kick out sand. "Yeah, I know. But still."

"James, honestly."

He turned to her with a cold stare. "Honestly what?"

"He's my _friend_. Am I not allowed to have friends?"

"You know you're allowed to have friends, Lil."

"Then what are you getting worked up about?"

"I'm not getting worked up!"

"Yes, you are, James."

"No, I'm bloody well not."

"What, are you jealous or something?"

"I'm not jealous! I don't get jealous!"

Lily snorted. "Everyone gets jealous."

"Whatever, Lily."

"Why are you acting like your five?"

"I'm not!"

Looking up at him through her lashes, Lily gave him a disbelieving look. "Okay, sure."

"Don't be all sarcastic."

"I can be sarcastic if I want to. You can't tell me what to do, nor can you tell me who to befriend. Hell, why don't I just find Paris now? We can have hot, raunchy sex in the backroom of the Café."

"That's not funny."

"Was I laughing?"

He turned to glare at her. "You don't get it."

"Don't get what?" Lily asked, offended.

"That I'm leaving!" There was a crash of thunder above them, but James' yell was louder. "I'm leaving _tomorrow!_ And I won't get to see you again until _Christmas_, and yet you're walking around with fucking Martinez, without a care in the world!" Lily opened her mouth, but James beat her to the punch, and continued to talk before she could interrupt. "I'm not saying you can't be friends with him, Lily, you _know_ that, so stop trying to make me out to be the bad guy. But you just don't seem to get it." He put a hand to his forehead, his eyes closing. "We're both leaving tomorrow. And I don't know how I'm going to deal without you until Christmas, honestly, I don't. You...I've only known you for this summer, but, God, Lily, you've changed me. You have. And I just...I just love you. Okay? I love you. I wanted you to know before I left."

Lily let the words sink in. There wasn't just a storm brewing outside, but also inside the pit of her stomach, and she wasn't sure what she was feeling, what she was supposed to do. But when he started to turn away from her, she grabbed his wrist on instinct. He seemed to have known she would do this, because once her skin made contact with his, he turned and kissed her hard on the mouth. His movements were fast, and his hands weren't tangled in her hair like they usually were, instead cupping her cheeks, like he needed her to understand, he needed her to be there, he needed her to need him.

He needed her.

When they broke apart, he said forcefully, "I love you," before turning back around and walking quickly across the sand, his hands dug deep into his pockets. Lily made a sound in the back of her throat, somewhere between an "I" and an "uh," but it was weak and forced and high-pitched and hurt her voice, so she left it at that, letting her arms hang loosely at her sides. If he had heard her, he made no motion to turn back around and listen to what she had to say.

What...what was that? Had he actually just told her that he loved her? It's only been a couple of months. Only a summer. And he was in love with her?

It wasn't possible. Not to mention that the thought of him actually being in love with her left her stomach in knots, her throat dry, and she could feel her blood turn hot in her veins all throughout her body.

He wasn't in love with her.

He just wasn't.

And that's when it started to pour.

XXX

Lily woke the next morning at seven in the morning, feeling emotionally drained, and to the sound of thunder.

Thunder, _I love you_, thunder.

She rolled over with a groan. There was no smell of coffee or grass to greet her nose, no sunlight to bounce off her orange walls, and no breeze through her window because she'd left it shut.

"Darling, time to get up!" her father called.

Maybe time could just stop. The world could stop spinning, and everyone would freeze except for her, and she could sort out her thoughts and feelings and everything, and then it could start up again. But not now. Not now when all she needed was a couple of hours to sleep and dream of different days and people.

Too bad being a witch didn't grant all of that, and she had to get up to catch the train to Hogwarts. But honestly, couldn't Hogwarts live without her? It had so far, so why did she have to go now?

She threw her covers off of herself anyway. There was a flash of lightening outside, and she stepped out into the hallway to the bathroom, preparing for her day as always. Once she was finished, she put all of her make-up and toiletries into her already-full trunk, and pulled it down the stairs.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans were already sitting at the table, along with Belle and Jamie. She assumed Bryce was still sleeping since it was relatively early, and graced her family with a sleepy, "Morning."

The morning continued like this, sleepy and slow. Lily tried to block out all thoughts of yesterday and what was going to happen today. When it was time to drive to the Kings Cross Station, she let herself think that she wasn't actually about to leave her home again, instead thinking she was going to the grocery store or something of the sort. The rain fell in sheets–it hadn't stopped since yesterday–and there were droplets trailing down the window of the backseat. Her sisters were sitting in the back, playing a hand game, Bryce was in the seat next to her, and her parents were up front commenting on the weather, but she had tuned them out long before. Her fingers moved on their own accord, tracing images and words into the fog of the glass, and before she knew it, they were outside the station.

They said their goodbyes in front of Platform 9. Was she a horrible daughter and sister because she hadn't paid much attention to what they'd said?

"Be sure to write," she'd heard. "Don't get into too much trouble." _Wink._

She thought she saw her mother had been crying.

Her father had that sad twinkle in his eye.

But her mind was elsewhere, so when they asked her if she could get to her train okay, she had responded with a distracted, "Yeah," and they'd left her at that.

The only problem now was that she had _no fucking clue_ how to get to Platform 9 3/4. Honestly, was there such a thing?

She walked between Platform 9 and 10. But there was no Platform 9 3/4, and her pride would not allow her to ask where it might be. Not to mention this was a _Muggle_ train station. Instead, she let her eyes scan over the crowd. Man in suit, man in suit, little kid, man in suit.

_Well, that helped_, she thought.

But once the thought entered her mind, she saw a trunk with a stamp on it. _Hogwarts_, it read.

She decided to follow whoever this person was. They seemed to be young, maybe thirteen or fourteen, and was only an inch or two shorter than Lily herself. They were alone, and when she followed them over to Platform 10, then ran right through it.

But that couldn't be right. You can't run _through a brick wall_. It wasn't possible.

But then another person came up and ran right through it, and Lily was struck with the thought of _aw, shit._

She was going to run through a wall.

A brick wall.

A very hard, brick wall.

Biting her lip, she ran towards it, closing her eyes in fear that she'd run straight into it and crack her head open. But she was met with an odd feeling–like running through a ghost without the coldness–and when she opened her eyes there was a bright red train that read, _Hogwarts Express_, and noise, so much noise.

Deeming it safe to follow the crowd, she did so with ease. She looked over everyone, examining the different attire–from Muggle clothes, to school robes, to an attempt to blend in with Muggles–and their faces. At one point she thought she saw a head of messy black hair, but when she did a double take, James was not in sight. And she had not expected him to be, her mind was just playing cruel tricks on her.

She boarded the train feeling awkward–everyone her age seemed to know everyone, and already had their share of friends. But she was by herself, being split apart just like the first years, and she began to feel aware of how her eyes felt. Letting her trunk drag after her, she walked through the halls for a place to sit. All she wanted was to find a group of girls around her age, and she'd be fine, she hoped.

After looking through five or so compartments, she was met with one with five girls inside, laughing and hugging. They seemed to be about her age, so she plucked up her courage, and opened the compartment door.

"Um, hi," she greeted, and the girls blinked at her. "I'm new here. I was just...wondering if I could sit with you." Not as smooth as she had hoped, but it was good enough.

For a second the girls only stared at her, but gradually, a large smile graced one of the girls faces. "'Course you can," she answered, scooting over to make room for Lily. The other girls smiled as well, accepting Lily into their compartment.

Relief flooded her, and she let a grateful smile fall onto her lips. "Thanks." She stowed her trunk away, and sat down next to the girl that had smiled at her, next to the window.

"I'm Alyssa," the girl who had smiled said to her. "Alyssa Grove."

Alyssa looked like she could have stepped out of a magazine. She had light skin and dirty blonde hair, with gray eyes. She had curves in all the right places, but she was dressed casually and comfortably in sweats and a hoodie to block the harsh rain. She had long legs, which were stretched out in front of her.

"Lily Evans."

"Addison Philips," the girl across from Lily said with a wave.

Addison looked...exactly like the girl from James' picture. _Exactly._ So this was the girl whose blue eyes and tan skin Lily had worried about almost all summer. How comforting.

"Stevie Jenkins."

Stevie had short mousy brown hair that framed her face. She had on jeans and a solid colored t-shirt, her short hair thrown into a short ponytail.

"Sophia Benjamin."

Sophia was a small girl, probably only barely reaching five foot. Her waist was practically minuscule, but her hair reached down to it, falling in soft blonde waves. Lily couldn't pick a color for her eyes–every time she thought of one, her eyes would change and the color just wouldn't fit anymore.

"Carmen Ventimiglia."

Carmen had dark tan skin, with curly black hair falling to in between her shoulder blades. It was obvious to tell that she was the apple of many eyes–she had more curves in all the right places than Alyssa did, and she was obviously pretty, with long lashes and colored lips.

The girls bonded almost instantly, and the train ride was filled with all six of their laughter. When the train ride ended, Lily had to ride across the lake with the first years to be sorted, but all of the girls promised she'd be in Gryffindor like them.

Awkwardly, Lily stood near the first years, towering over them, even with her short stance, and kept her hands dug into the pockets of her school uniform, which she'd changed into in the middle of the train ride.

A large, booming voice, yelled near her, making her jump, "Firs' years! Firs' years o'er here!"

She went to stand near him, and he looked at her oddly.

"I'm new," she explained weakly, for his tall stance and beefy body was slightly intimidating.

He gave a toothy grin. "Oh, yah, Dumbledore tol' me 'bout yer. Yer can ride in my boat fer the ride o'er," he offered, and Lily gave him a relieved grin.

"Thanks."

She shared her ride over with who she learned was named Hagrid, and who also happened to be half-giant, although he wasn't nearly as scary as she thought him to be.

When they arrived in the castle, some of them wet from falling into the lake, they all seemed to adapt an awed and nervous appearance. Lily knew that she had never seen anything as beautiful as what she was standing in right now. This–this castle, it _tasted_ of magic. She could feel it in her bones, and see it in the flickers of the flames of the candles.

She had a feeling it wouldn't be too hard calling this place home.

Professor McGonagall came in and told them all to wait in here, for they had to be sorted into houses before they could feast. There was a nervous buzz floating around the room, especially after being told they were going to be 'sorted' by a woman with thin lips and hair in a tight bun, who looked incredibly strict.

After she had left, Lily was left with a variety of different eleven year olds with nerves. She was nervous herself, but she didn't show it like they did. Instead, she stood against the wall, one foot on the wall, letting her eyes close lazily, and for the first time in her life, she wished she had a cigarette. To complete the look, just like Paris said.

After a minute or two, Professor McGonagall came back and escorted them into the Great Hall, where the rest of the school was waiting. There were four main tables, and she could already pick out which one was which from what the five girls had told her on the train. However, all eyes in the room were on the group headed towards the head of the room, and most of them were on her, for obviously not being a first year.

When they got to the head of the room, they all stopped, and McGongall pulled up a stool and a hat, which sat atop the stool. It was in the middle of the floor, up a couple of steps from where the first years and Lily were standing.

It was alphabetical, so Lily knew she'd be going soon. She was going to be sick–her hands started to subtly shake, and when her name was called, she was sure her butt was twitching. She kept her composure, however, (even when she heard an "Ow-ow!" from over to the right of the room–and it sounded distinctly like Alyssa) and walked the few steps up to the stool, praying she didn't trip. She took the hat, and plopped it down on her head.

"Ahh, Lily Evans," it said, and Lily got a confused look on her face. Was that _in her head?_

"Yes, no one can hear what I'm saying," it answered, and Lily's eyes grew round.

"You're smart, yes, very smart. But you are also brave and proud...this is a tough choice. You could go places in Slytherin, you know." From what Lily had heard from the girls on the train ride, only dark wizards went in Slytherin, and she crinkled her nose at the thought.

"I think you'd do best in...GRYFFINDOR!" it roared, and there was immediate applause, mostly from the table with red and gold coloring. Alyssa, Addison, Stevie, Sophia, and Carmen all cheered, making space for her at the table.

But was it just her or did she hear some distinctly call, "Go Lily!" pronouncing her name like Lil-ay, and sounding distinctly like Sirius? Looking up as she hopped off the stool, she glanced at the Gryffindor table.

And...Sirius was sitting right there.

Looking next to him, she saw James. Doing a double take and rubbing her eyes, she was definitely sure they were sitting there, at the Gryffindor table, at Hogwarts, looking at her.

But why was Sirius looking so happy when James looked like she had just killed his puppy?

She was definitely going to be sick.

**AN:** Ahhh, my hands hurt again! All this html is annoying. Plus, it took me...about four hours to write this chapter, and I haven't done any of my homework. Whoops. So, really, the least you can do is review. Please? You can get an cyber-cookie? REVIEW! And thanks for reading:).


	9. Getting It On With Myrtle

**Disclaimer:** -sigh- If only...

**AN:** So, this update is sort of early. Well, earlier than any of my other ones. And I'm pretty sure it's longer, too, though nothing reeeeeeally interesting happens.

You may have noticed that I changed the summary for this fic. Don't worry, it's the same thing, but even though I got twenty five reviews last chapter (yayyy!), I am steadily losing hits. Anyway, thanks to my twenty five reviewers, I love you, you're gorgeous, and here's a cyber-cookie to...

**SweetSouthernGal**

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SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind: Oh my goshhh, I envy you. You're already out of school:( Lucky. I still have a couple weeks to go. But, um, I'm not really sure why people say cyber-cookie. Maybe it sounds prettier?

**Ellz**

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**Chapter Nine: Getting It On With Myrtle**

When she opened her eyes the next morning, Lily was met with red curtains, and she could not for the life of her remember where she was. The deep red was so different than the bright orange of her walls back home, and she stared at them groggily, until the events from yesterday slowly came back to her.

The train ride–Alyssa, Carmen, Sophia, Stevie, and Addison welcoming her into their group–getting into Gryffindor–Sirius' happy face–James' sullen one.

James. He'd barely talked to her at the feast. He had mustered up a small smile when she sat down a few seats down from him and across the table, but it came out more as a grimace than anything else. He kept his comments to her insignificant and short–"Could you pass the potatoes?"–and when she tried to initiate conversation with him, his responses became even shorter–"Yeah," "Cool," "Uh-huh."

There was commotion outside of her curtains, and she pushed them away. Her hair, she knew, was knotted and in disarray, but she didn't much care, especially upon seeing the state of her five roommates–Carmen's wavy hair had turned impossibly curly, Stevie's was sticking up at odd angles, Sophia's looked as if a brush would want to _run away_ from the tangles, Alyssa's looked a little greasy since she had yet to take a shower and she constantly ran her hands through her hair, which added to the oils, and Addison's looked stringy and worn–was is possible for hair to look worn? Because, Lily thought, hers most definitely did.

They all had their heads poked out of their curtains, eyes sleepily scanning the room, taking everything in slowly–the harsh sunlight, the mess they'd left on the floor the previous night, and finally, the door of the bathroom, which had not yet been opened.

"I call shower first!" Alyssa said, oddly cheery for–Lily checked the clock on the wall–six-thirty in the morning. The other girls' eyes' bulged as Alyssa scrambled clumsily towards the door, her socks slipping on the hardwood floor, before her hand made contact with the knob, and she pressed it down before entering hastily.

"Damn it, Lyssa!" Stevie called, throwing a sock towards the door, though it fell short.

Carmen shrugged, her head dangling off the end of her bed and she was too tired to pick it back up. "I call second."

"Third." Sophia's hand raised.

"Fourth?" Lily asked timidly, but no one objected.

"Fifth, definitely," Stevie said.

Addison sighed. "Fine, sixth."

"You snooze you lose, Ads," Sophia said, and Addison shrugged in response, turning back over to get a couple more minutes of sleep in.

Lily, however, could not fall back asleep, even though she was assuming that it would be a while until the time her turn for the shower rolled around. Instead, she slowly made her way over to her trunk, which she hadn't unpacked, and got a clean uniform out. There were no wrinkles–not even one–as her OCD had kicked in a week before she had to leave for Hogwarts, and she had obsessively ironed all of the clothes she was taking.

She took the uniform over to her bed and set it down, before continuing to unpack her trunk–she was, after all, going to be there for a while.

There was steam coming out from underneath the door, even only after three minutes of Alyssa's shower, and not a split second later, the water cut off. Alyssa was famous for her short showers, as well as taking all of the hot water in that small amount of time. She liked her showers hot–scorching, if she could–and you knew something was wrong with her when her showers took more than five minutes, especially if steam had not yet entered their dorm.

She emerged a second later, dressed, with a towel crowning her head. She had black smudges underneath her eyes, showing that she hadn't completely taken off her make-up from the previous day, and she made her way over to the bureau before picking up her wand, letting her hair fall out of the towel, and drying it with a tap from her handy stick of wood.

Carmen grunted from where she was, indicating that she was going to get up in a second–her usually tan face turning red from the blood rushing to it since she still had her head hanging off the end of the bed.

"Get up, Car," Sophia said sternly. "I want my goddamn shower."

"Yes ma'am," Carmen mumbled, untangling herself from her sheets after a seconds hesitation, and walked over to the bathroom, grabbing her clothes on the way, all the while with her eyes closed, walking the room from memorization.

"I have no idea how she does that," Alyssa mumbled, her voice different because it was hanging open as she applied her mascara.

"The same way you manage super hot, short showers," Sophia answered.

"Whatever you say, Soph." Were all of their names turned shorter into nicknames? Lily wondered.

"So, Lil," Alyssa said, turning around and leaning against the bureau. Apparently Lily's name was no exception. "You never told us how you know Sirius and James."

All of the girls' eyes were suddenly on her, and even Addison turned around to look. "Um," she said, all the sudden nervous, "I moved in next door to James over the summer."

"Really?" Alyssa's eyebrows were raised.

Stevie scoffed. "Shut up, Lyss, not everyone's got a perverted mind like you do."

Alyssa put her palms up. "I didn't say anything, that was all you."

Stevie rolled her eyes, and Carmen left the bathroom, so Sophia scrambled to go in next.

It was quiet for a second before Carmen's voice broke it. "So...did you bang either of them?" she questioned Lily, apparently having heard the conversation from inside the bathroom, and Lily could feel the heat rise to her face, though Carmen acted as if it was an everyday question as she continued her daily rituals–applying make-up and making sure her skirt was at least an inch–oh, why not make it two?–shorter than the accepted length.

"Carmen!" Addison scolded.

"What?" Carmen asked indignantly. "It's a question!"

"A good question, too," Alyssa added, and Carmen nodded her thanks.

"Honestly, you guys are such–"

"No," Lily interrupted Addison, "I didn't."

"Oh." Carmen's face fell slightly. "Pity," she said offhandedly.

"Why?"

"Because none of us have." Carmen sighed.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Stevie said, tumbling out of bed, her hair still awkward looking.

"It _is_. I mean, me? I don't really go for Gryffindor boys," Carmen explained to Lily. "They're too...well, I don't know. I don't like staying with guys for too long, and being in the same house with them would pose a problem, you know? Really, they're more Addy's scene, but she says they're all 'practically her brothers,'"–Carmen was rolling her eyes and added air-quotes, and Addison cried indignantly, "They are!" but Carmen ignored her, continuing what she was saying–"And Lyssa is just horrible with relationships–no offence, of course, darling–and I am definitely going to blame _that_ one on the one and only Sirius Black–honestly, first boyfriend and you pick Sirius? Come on, Lyss," Carmen said, and Alyssa stuck her tongue out at Carmen, though she was laughing. "Then," Carmen continued, dragging the word out, "Sophia goes more for the nice types, you know? Which I find very ironic since she curses like a sailor, even if she does look so innocent. Anyway, then there's Stevie, and she likes smart guys more than anything else in the world–you know, the whole thick glasses, sweater vest, neatly clipped hair, total drag..." The only response she got from Stevie was the middle finger raising high out of the covers she was tangled in on the floor. "So," Carmen concluded, "you're our last hope. Unless, of course, Lyssa here gets her act together with Black-boy, and they actually stay together for more than a week. They've been on and off since we were thirteen," she explained, her arm around Alyssa shoulders.

"Wow."

"Yes, it's quite sad."

"Soph!" Stevie called from her place on the floor. "Hurry up, some off us still need to shower!"

"Alright," came her muffled response, "fuck."

"Always has to take such a freaking long shower," Stevie mumbled. It was true–if Alyssa was the queen of short showers, Sophia was definitely the queen of long ones.

After another five minutes, Sophia came out, wrapped in a bathrobe, which dragged across the floor, and a towel on top of her head. There was a distinct smell of flowers following her, and when Lily entered the bathroom, the scent was even stronger.

She took a quick shower, knowing that Stevie and Addison still had to take theirs, and turning it off right when the hot water started to go. She dressed in the bathroom, towel drying her hair a little since she'd just magically dry it once she was in the dorm, leaving the towel in the bathroom.

Once she took a step over the threshold, Stevie swept past her into the bathroom with a grateful, "_Thank you_."

Alyssa and Carmen were laughing up a storm, clutching their sides and gasping for breath, and everyone else was chuckling appreciatively.

"What?" Lily questioned, grabbing her wand and tapping it against her head–instantly, her hair was dry, and she grabbed her make-up bag and made her way over to the mirror.

"They were teasing Stevie about her ex-boyfriend from last year," Addison answered, and Lily adopted an awkward smile.

"Oh," she said, trying to get the feeling of being a sixth wheel out of her system.

Addison seemed to sense this, because she smiled kindly and said, "His name was Parker. He was pretty much how Carmen explained Stevie's boyfriends–thick glasses, sweater vest, neat hair. He even had a pocket watch, a handkerchief, and a calculator on him at all times."

Lily laughed, thinking that maybe Addison was the bitch that she had thought her to be all summer long. "That's kind of...sad."

Addy nodded. "Yeah. But the worst part was, Steve was practically obsessed with him, you know? Totally swooning. She'd go on and on about how handsome he was, and how he was funny and muscular–when really, he had a nasal-y voice, was short, and had absolutely no body or muscle to speak of, let alone humor. And I'm not completely sure that was just gel in his hair..."

"I can hear you!" Stevie shouted, before letting out a loud curse. "The water's cold!"

Addy groaned. "Wonderful for me."

Lily smiled. "Have fun." She then started to apply her make-up, eyeliner first, then mascara then eyeshadow. That with a little lip gloss, and she was done.

Lyssa and Carmen were talking and laughing about something, and Lily could tell right away that they were the most outgoing in the group. Lily figured that she would be better friends with Sophia, or Stevie, or Addison, as they seemed more laid-back than Alyssa and Carmen, but then they were inviting her into their conversation.

"Lil," Carmen was saying, and Alyssa was nodding along. "That skirt is entirely too long."

"Well, I don't think it can really be any short–" But then Carmen was rolling up Lily's skirt, making it an inch shorter, before drawing back and looking at her handiwork under a critical eye.

"I think that works, don't you, Lyss?" she said.

"Oh yeah," Alyssa said, smiling. At first, Lily thought that she would feel awkward with a shorter skirt, but after doing a small twirl she realized that she was more comfortable this way than with it an inch longer.

"Cool," Lily said, her fingers brushing the end of her skirt, touching her bare leg.

The next second, Stevie came running out of the bathroom, hopping up and down trying to get warm. "T-that was-s-s _f-freezing_," she stuttered, and threw herself under her covers for warmth, her short hair trickling water down her neck.

Addison slowly stood on her long legs, sighing. "Guess that's my cue for the cold shower, huh?"

Carmen smiled. "Good luck, dear."

"Yeah, right," Addison mumbled, but Carmen's smile just grew.

"And hurry up!" Sophia called after Addison. "We should get to breakfast soon."

Addison gave a wave of acknowledgment before shutting the bathroom door behind her, starting the water after a minute. The rest of the girls were sitting on the floor of their bedroom, already ready, as Carmen, Lily, Sophia and Alyssa had finished their make-up, and Stevie didn't wear any, no matter how much Sophia, Alyssa, Carmen, and Addison had tried to persuade her over the years.

"You play Quidditch, Lily?" Alyssa asked, her head cocked to the side.

"We didn't really have Quidditch in America," Lily answered.

"Oh, right. Well, can you fly?"

"Sometimes..."

"Sometimes?"

"Well, I don't normally, no."

"Oh, well, you should really think about it, Quidditch is an awesome sport." Sophia had started to mimic Alyssa behind her back, and Lily stifled a laugh. "I'm a chaser on the house team," Alyssa was saying, "and we've got a really get team, but we need another beater, since our last one graduated last year. If you're interested, just tell me, or James, since he's captain."

Lily nodded, smiling. "I'll think about it, I guess."

"Great." Alyssa smiled.

"Hurry your big ass up!" Soph called to Addy, stopping her mimicking of Alyssa since she had stopped talking about Quidditch.

"It's not that big!" she said incredulously. "And you know what? You can wait!"She yelped. "So cold!"

Stevie snickered, but in the next second, Addy had exited the bathroom, her hair already dry, and brown eyeliner in her hand that she said she'd apply on their way to the Great Hall. They all grabbed their backpacks, before following each other down the stairs of the girls dormitories, and out of the Gryffindor Common Room.

The six of them took up the entire hallway as they were walking in a straight line; Sophia on the end, then Alyssa, then Lily, then Carmen, then Stevie, and finally Addy. Knowing this only made them louder, their laughter echoing down the hallway to other groups of friends and people of different ages and houses.

When they sat down at the Gryffindor table, three of them sat on one side while the other three sat on the other, so that they could all contribute in the conversation. Since it was eight o'clock, the table was filled mostly, though there were gaps here and there of missing people.

But just when Lily was sitting down between Alyssa and Addison, she saw a flash of a familiar face walking across the Hall, and when she did a double take, she was sure as to who it was.

"I'll be right back," she said to the rest of the girls, before making her way over to the Ravenclaw table where she saw a head of hair she could have recognized a mile away.

"Paris?" she asked loudly, and the head turned around. At first, he was looking lazily, but upon seeing Lily, he wore a broad grin.

"Lily! Hi!"

"Hi," she greeted him, smiling, as he stood to give her a bear hug.

"I didn't know you were a witch!" he said.

"I didn't know you were a wizard," she answered, and he laughed. "What about Delilah, is she here?"

"Nah, I'm Muggleborn." He paused. "Well, that I know of."

Lily nodded, understanding what he meant without him saying it. "Yeah, I'm Muggleborn, too. But hey, you're a Ravenclaw? I didn't know you had a_ brain_."

"Yes," he answered drily. "Contrary to popular belief, I _do_ have a brain. I just don't use it that often."

"Makes sense." Lily shrugged. "How come I haven't seen you until now?"

His eyes slid over her head, then to a point past her shoulder, before he met her eyes again. "I had some stuff to deal with. I didn't get here until this morning."

Lily nodded, though her eyebrows were furrowed. "Oh. Okay." They were quiet for a second before she said, "Well, I should go eat. I'll see you, 'kay?"

He smiled and nodded. "Of course."

They hugged again, before Lily started to make her way back to the Gryffindor table. She was about to sit down when she met James' eyes–he had just entered the Great Hall–and when he saw her, his eyes widened slightly as he hastily made his way towards the end of the table, away from where she was sitting in the middle. When she tried to smile at him, he gave a half-wave, before letting his hand drop back down, along with his book-bag to the floor.

She shook her head. Whatever. Maybe he was just trying to get used to the fact that they actually wouldn't be leaving each other.

Right?

"Lily!" Stevie called to her, and she shook her head, taking a seat. "McGonagall's about to come around and give us our schedules."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's over there giving the Marauders theirs right now."

They all craned their necks to see that, sure enough, McGonagall was right next to the Marauders, an annoyed look on her face, as Sirius grinned up at her, surely trying to impress her with his charm and good looks.

"Sirius!" Alyssa called, and he turned to her. She signaled for him to stop. "She's too old for you!"

He winked. "You're not," he called back to her, and Alyssa made an obscene hand gesture towards him before sitting correctly. They all could hear his bark of laughter.

"Anyway," Carmen said, "have you heard the news?" When she was met with shaking heads, she continued. "Shia and Bethany broke up over the summer."

"_No way_," Sophia said, awed.

Carmen nodded. "Yeah. He wrote me late in the summer and told me."

"But they've been together forever," Stevie said.

"I know. But apparently she found some guy in Spain–you know, she went on vacation there this summer, remember–who was 'better than Shia.'" Carmen made air-quotes for the second time that morning. "He was totally devastated."

"Um," Lily said cautiously. "Who are Bethany and Shia?"

Alyssa turned to her. "Shia's a Gryffindor seventh year, same as us. He hangs around with the Marauders a lot, with his best mate, Tyler."

Addison picked up where Alyssa had left off. "Bethany's a year younger than us in Hufflepuff. She was a little too bubbly for any of us to handle, but she was supposed to have a heart of gold."

"Guess not anymore," Carmen added, taking a bite of her eggs. "She told him all about this Spanish guy, like she hadn't just broken up with him after two years."

"But of course," Sophia said. "Shia's too good of a guy to say anything to her."

Carmen nodded. "Right. Tyler was pissed, too. Said she had no right to go and flaunt it in Shia's face."

"Well, she didn't," Addy grumbled, looking around the Great Hall for Shia. Her eyes landed on a boy that Lily did not recognize, who vaguely reminded her of her brother. He had curly hair, though his was bright blonde, and it fell over his ears and into his eyes. He was pale, but not very noticeably so, with golden eyes and a small nose. He had relatively big lips for a guy, but they fit his face perfectly. He was smiling, his eyes sparkling, and Lily would not have pinned him as someone who had just been dumped after two years.

"He looks pretty good," Addison noted.

"Yeah, so does Tyler," Sophia said, and all of the girls except Lily scoffed.

"Still hanging onto that crush, Soph?" Alyssa teased.

"I do not have a _fucking crush_ on Tyler Greene. All I said last year was that he was _good looking_, and I get shitting ridicule for the rest of my left. Honestly," she sighed.

"No," Stevie corrected, her eyes twinkling. "I believe your exact words were that he turned you on."

"I was drunk, damn it!" Soph groaned, letting her hands cover her burning red cheeks.

Lily smiled. "Where is he? I want to know what he looks like."

Addison pointed to the guy in between Shia and Remus, nudged Lily to get her attention. When Lily looked, she couldn't find what Sophia thought looked so good about him. Sure, he wasn't bad looking, with long brown hair in a hair cut that didn't suit him well, going to around his chin, brown eyes, and small lips. His uniform fit him tightly, but Lily couldn't tell if it was muscle or chub that was underneath.

"Him and Shia are practically inseparable," Stevie told Lily. "but they hang out with the Marauders a lot since they're roommates."

Lily nodded and opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, Professor McGonagall had started speaking. "Hello, girls." She gave a tight lipped smile, and they all murmured their greetings. "I have your schedules here." She began passing them out, ending with Lily, who she gave another small smile to. "Welcome to Gryffindor, Miss Evans. You will be taking the same level classes as you were in America." With that, she swept away from them, making her way towards other Gryffindors to distribute their schedules.

"What classes do we have together?" Alyssa asked, taking Lily's schedule before she had even had a chance to look at it, and then Alyssa squealed. "Score. Same schedule."

"Cool," Lily said, smiling. She looked down at her schedule once Alyssa passed it back to her–first class today was Potions with the Slytherins, NEWT level. In fact, her whole schedule was NEWT level, and she smiled again.

After Potions, she had History of Magic with the Ravenclaws, then Herbology with the Hufflepuffs, then an hour for lunch in the Great Hall. Afterwards, she would go to Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws, Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Hufflepuffs, and Charms with just Gryffindors. These were the only classes she would be taking, since the previous year she had dropped Astronomy and Care of Magical Creatures.

She compared schedules with the rest of the girls, and found that she had relatively the same schedule as everyone else, give or take a few courses.

She began to eat–a simple breakfast, just pancakes and a few strawberries–letting herself get lost in the conversation that they were all having. She wasn't as nervous as she had been the previous day; the girls had taken her under their wing, and she was grateful. Knowing this, she felt free to add to the conversation.

A boy she knew now as Shia came up to them, followed closely by Tyler since people were starting the leave the Great Hall and he had gotten lost back a little bit, and the two of them slid into seats across the table from Lily.

"Hey, Shia, Tyler," all of them chorused except for Lily, freakily in unison.

The boys nodded their hellos before both of their eyes fell onto Lily, at the same time, just like the girls had said the same thing at the same time.

"Hi," Shia greeted, adopting a charming smile. "I don't believe we've met. You're new, right?" Lily nodded, and he continued. "I'm Shia Kent, and this is my mate, Tyler Greene." Shia jerked his head towards Tyler, who lifted his hand in a small wave. "And you are?"

"Lily. Evans," she added as an afterthought, and Shia's grin widened.

"It's nice to meet you, Lily. Evans." He deliberately left a space between her first name and last, just as she had, and she smiled a little.

"Okay, Shia," Addy said. "You can turn off that charm now."

"I was just being friendly," Shia said innocently. Too innocently, and Tyler snorted.

"Ignore him, please," Tyler said to Lily. "He hasn't taken his medication yet."

Lily smiled and shrugged. "That's okay."

"Oy," Shia said, turning towards Tyler. "Neither have you."

"And yet I am sitting here, completely sane."

Shia scoffed. "Yeah, right. Completely sane my _arse._"

"What are you trying to say, _Shi_?"

"That you're completely of your rocker, _Ty_."

"Says the boy who tried to get it on with–" Tyler's mouth was suddenly covered with Shia's hand, and Shia was steadily getting redder by the second.

"How about we don't mention that, eh?" he said through gritted teeth, but the girls were already laughing.

"I remember that!" Carmen cried, pointing to Shia. "You and–" she sniggered, and Shia made a lunge for her, but she moved and continued her story. "Moaning Myrtle."

"Nothing happened," he cried, but everyone was still laughing. Lily sat there, a smile twitching on her lips, because she had no idea who Moaning Myrtle was, or what they were laughing at.

"Moaning Myrtle's a ghost in a girl's bathroom here," Addy whispered to her, and Lily snorted.

"A _ghost?_" Lily asked incredulously to Shia. "You tired to–" he let out a wail, drowning out the middle part of her sentence. "–_a ghost?_" was all that was heard after he was done wailing.

"It was fourth year, okay?"

Tyler laughed. "More like last week."

"Not!" Shia cried, glaring at his best friend. "And anyway, aren't _you_ the one that went out with–"

"Okay, let's not go there!" Tyler said quickly. "We'll see you girls later," he said, smiling towards all of them, before dragging Shia to his feet and out of the Great Hall.

A bell sounded, and Sophia stood quickly, taking a quick swig of her pumpkin juice. "We should get to class," she said, and they all agreed, grabbing their bags before heading towards their classes, once again taking up most of the hallway, adding noise.

They all had Potions together first period, so they filed into the classroom, sitting on the designated Gryffindor side of the classroom, Lily sitting next to Sophia, with Carmen and Stevie behind them, and Alyssa and Addison in front of them.

They sat for a moment, waiting for everyone else who was taking the class to come in as well. The Professor was not in the classroom yet, either, and when Lily looked down at her schedule, she saw that the class was going to be taught by someone with the last name _Slughorn_.

She snorted. _It would suck to have that last name._

Turning her attention towards the door to the classroom, she watched as faces she didn't recognize filed in. Eventually, she saw Shia and Tyler come in, followed closely by the Marauders, who all sat in the back of the room. James made a point not to acknowledge anyone except the Marauders and Shia and Tyler when he walked in, though Shia, Tyler, Sirius, and who she remembered as Remus from James' picture, waved to them.

After a minute, a fat man with a large belly which she was sure blocked his view of his feet, walked in, his feet making noise against the stone floor of the dungeon. He wobbled slightly, the cloak he was wearing–even though they were inside–swishing behind him awkwardly.

"Oh ho, well hello again, students!" he said jovially, making his way towards the desk in the front of the classroom. He turned around once he got there, lowering himself in his chair, before continuing what he was saying. "I see many familiar faces in the class today, and I'm very proud to say that you've all made it to my NEWT level course. This means that you're all very talented–" Lily noticed that Alyssa was mimicking him behind her hand, as if he said the same thing every year. Lily snickered before turning her attention back to him. "Sophia Benjamin," he said, calling roll.

"Here!" she cried. He didn't look up at her, keeping his eyes glued to his clipboard.

"Lily Evans?"

"Here," Lily answered, raising her hand. This time, he looked up at her, smiling, with yellow-tinted teeth.

"Oh ho! You're the new girl from America, correct?" he asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Well, welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome. I hope you'll enjoy my class, I–" Lily tuned him out, nodding and smiling at everything he said.

The class dragged on in a similar fashion, Slughorn making a point to call on Lily to test her knowledge, and when the bell signaled the end of class, she hightailed it out towards her next class, only waiting for the others when she was out the door.

Her next class was History of Magic, and from what she had heard, it was sure to put her to sleep. At her school in America, the History of Magic teacher was a young woman who liked to flirt with the boys in her class and assign coloring projects.

Needless to say, her expectations for a History of Magic class was already low.

She made her way there with Alyssa and Carmen–everyone else had dropped the class. The only reason why Alyssa and Carmen were in the class was because the pervious year, they had heard a rumor that a cute Ravenclaw, Derek Tymes, was going to take it. Naturally, however, he wasn't actually taking it, so they would not be joined with him.

They made their way out of the dungeons and towards the History of Magic room. When they arrived, they took seats next to each other, scanning the room. When Professor Binns–_a ghost for a teacher?_ Lily thought–came in and started class, they were the only Gryffindors there, and the only other people taking it were two Ravenclaws who kept to themselves.

In the middle of the class, Binns needed a letter to be sent to Dumbledore and he told Lily–although he had called her Lisa instead–to take it. Without looking at it, she made her way out of the classroom and towards the Headmaster's office, trying to remember how Dumbledore had taken her the night before to welcome her to Hogwarts.

She turned a corner, flipping the letter over in her hand, before hitting something solid and stumbling backwards. A strong hand grabbed her arm, keeping her steady, and she lifted her eyes to be met with hazel ones.

It was James.

She felt herself smiling instantly. "Hi."

"Hi," he replied, though he was not returning her smile.

"Sorry about running into you."

He shrugged. "It's okay." But then he walked around her, making his way down the hallway, without so much as a good-bye.

"I'll, um, see you later!" she called out to him, standing on her toes and lifting a hand to wave. The only response she got was when he turned the corner, away from her sight.

She fell back onto her heels, her hand dropping to her side, her eyebrows knitted together. What was with him? Had he not told her just two days ago that he was _in love_ with her? And now he was going to pretend her even knew her?

At the thought of his declaration, her blood turned hot again, and her stomach turned to knots. She knew that she was scared of it–of someone being in love with her–but after someone says something like that, isn't it, you know, normal to act like you care for that person?

What was going on with him?

**AN:** I'll keeeepppp youuu myyy diiiirttyyyy liiittttlllleee seeecreeeett. Kay, I'm done:). But, um, really? You should review. I mean, after that singing, how can you not? Haha. And you'll get a cyber-browwnie!


	10. Just James

**Disclaimer:** I unfortunetly do not own Harry Potter. But damnn, if I did...

**AN:** Another updateee. And I'm fainlly over 100 reviews!:) This is actually later than I had wanted to update, but you know, things have been an ickle hectic, what with my birthday & my friends throwing me a surprise party, my dad _and_ boyfriend not calling on my birthday and being total asses, breaking up with said boyfriend, school ending, that kinda stuff. This chapter is kind of short because of that, & also because I liked the last paragraph and wanted to use it as the last paragraph and it wouldn't have worked anywhere else, so I had to end it there. Anyway, I didn't get as many reviews as I hoped I would, so pleeeease gimme a lot this chapter? Hope you like, & thanks & here's a brownie to the reviewers...

**EternalWords**

SweetSouthernGal: Addison is the girl from the picture.

**Thosewhocan'twrite-comment**

messyblackhair66

SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind

simply infatuated

BrazilianPrincess

thestoicwarrior: who needs boys is right. i wouldnt mind living without them for a while.****

Charmed luver222

FrostedDarkfox

HawaiianNekoZuki07

LovelyCheshireGrin

xxxHPxxx

**Chapter Ten: Just James**

The next day, when Lily tried to talk to James, he had brushed her off quickly, claiming that he 'had to study.'

It happened again the day after that.

And continued for the next three weeks.

By that time, Lily had gotten into a routine at Hogwarts. The girls would all fight over the shower, starting at 6:30. After they were all ready, they would walk down to the Great Hall together, choosing the same seats in the middle of the Gryffindor table each day. James would then walk in, and Lily would smile at him. He'd wave, sit down, and proceed to ignore her, even though he had every class with her except History of Magic.

Surprisingly, he made it easy. They sat on opposite sides of the room in the classes they had together, and although their friends were friends, he was conveniently not around whenever both groups were together. He 'studied' a lot.

Eventually, though, Lily was fed up, and decided to treat him the same way. When he walked into the Great Hall each morning, she made a point to stare straight through him, before turning back to the conversation at hand. In class, when he would answer a question, she'd lazily look at him as if she'd never before seen him in her life, and sometimes she didn't look at all. She kept this up for another week, but when they entered into the month of October, she was completely fed up with the ignorance on both of their behalf.

She was sitting in the Common Room, a Potions book open on her lap, but she wasn't reading the text, her mind drifting to James. It'd been a _month._ A whole month of his avoiding glances and awkward smiles.

And so, when he entered the Common Room, bag slung over his shoulder, before seeing her staring at him and quickly making his way up to his dorm, her temper flared–and okay, it may have just been because she had a sneaking suspicion she was about to get her period–and she made her way over to Sirius, who was sitting at a table at the side of the room, copying Remus' essay.

"Is anybody up there except James?" she asked, indicating to the boys dorm staircase, and when his eyes bulged, she didn't let him get a word in edgewise. "Good."

She determinedly walked towards them, thinking out what she planned on saying in her head, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, one step, two steps, three steps, all the way up to the Seventh Year Boys Dorms, just as it read on the door.

She opened it, and started talking before her face was in his line of view. "You know," she said, shutting the door behind her, seeing James sitting at a desk, alone in the room, looking at her oddly. "You pride yourself in being a Marauder and yet you surprisingly have no tact."

"I have tact," he said tonelessly.

Both of her eyebrows lifted–she couldn't just lift one. "Really?"

He nodded.

"Then why is it that it's been so painfully obvious you've been avoiding me since I got here?"

"You have, too," he pointed out, rising from his chair and leaning against his desk.

"Only because you avoided me first."

"Okay," he said, shrugging.

They paused, and he looked like he was bored with the conversation, which just further angered Lily. "So why _have_ you been avoiding me?" she questioned.

"Stuff," he said vaguely.

"Stuff?"

"Yeah. _Stuff_."

"Do you feel like elaborating on that?"

"No."

There was silence for a minute as Lily let her temper build. "_No?_ You're _not_ going to elaborate on why you've been fucking ignoring me for a _month_? You're just going to–what, continuing ignoring me?"

He shrugged in response.

"And all you can do is shrug? Wow, James. After that summer–and the–the thing–what you said–that day, at the beach?"

His breath caught, barely noticeable, at the mention of the day at the beach, and his eyes were suddenly guarded. "What about it?"

"_What about it_? Why don't you answer your own damn question, James?" Sophia was rubbing off on her–she was cursing way too often now.

"Listen, about the stuff I said, I..." he struggled for words, ruffling his hair with one hand, and Lily grew impatient. "I didn't know what I was saying. Just forget about it."

This time it was Lily's breath that caught, and she was sure that it was noticeable. She thought it had been scary for someone to say they were in love with her, and even if she had doubted it–completely–the entire time, but to have it _ripped away from her_ was even more scary than that.

"I mean, really, think about it. It was completely unrealistic. So, sorry for making you think that," he said offhandedly.

_Why is he being such an ass?_ Lily wondered, ego wounded, and her temper rising more.

"Unrealistic?"

"Well, yeah."

"So why the _fuck_ did you say it?" she asked scathingly.

"I told you; I didn't know what I was saying."

"So, what? You're going to tell me that you love me and then take it back? It doesn't work like that, James!" She was screaming now, and he looked taken aback.

"Well, obviously it does," he said, his voice hard, and though he wasn't yelling like she was, his voice was loud. "Why are you getting so worked up over it?"

"Are you kidding me? We spent all summer together, talking all night long and kissing and you tell me that you love me at the end of it all and now nothing? You're going to act like none of that ever happened?"

"Yes. I told you I didn't know what I was saying, so just leave it, Merlin."

"I can't believe you." She wasn't screaming anymore, instead speaking, surprisingly calm, and she noticed that while she was screaming she had walked into the middle of the room, him as well, so they were standing around three feet apart.

"Believe it," he said rudely.

"What the hell is _with_ you?"

"There's nothing _with_ me, Lily. It's not even like we were together, okay? So just drop it and leave it the fuck alone."

She let the comment hang in the air, hoping, wanting, wishing that he'd regret it and take it back. But he didn't. He stared stonily at her, separated from her by the three feet between them, and Lily got a freaky sense of deja vu from the day she saw that picture of him and Addison, once again being met with the feeling that she meant nothing to him; just 'that girl, that summer.'

And even though she knew it was wrong, the thought that she was acting like a nagging ex-girlfriend, like he made her sound in the way he spoke, cropped up in her mind. Maybe she was. Maybe she was wanting too much from him, expecting too much, needing too much.

Which, of course, only made her feel worse.

"So, what?" she asked. "Is it because you know I'm a witch now, hm? Do you have some expectations now that you're back at Hogwarts, and I don't live up to them? Is that it? That you're a Marauder and you just can't be seen with a girl like me?"

"Lily–" he said, looking at her as if she was stupid, but she didn't let him finish.

"Because before that you had no problem telling me that you fucking loved me!" she shouted, her hands out on either side of her, and she noticed with a jolt that she had used past tense.

"_Lily_–" he tried again.

"So what is it, then? I don't live up to your almighty expectations? I'm not smart enough? Is that it? Not pretty enough, not _ignorant _enough for you?"

"_Lily_–"

What the fuck is it, James? Huh?"

"Yes!" he finally screamed, his hands out like Lily's had been just minutes earlier. "Yes! You don't live up to my expectations! Are you happy now?"

She found she couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't think of anything to do but let her arms fall to her sides and her mouth form a small 'o.' Her feet fell back so she was standing flat and straight, though she couldn't quite remember when she had starting leaning forwards and on her toes. She felt like there was no air in her lungs–none at all–and suddenly it felt like water was in them instead. Breathing became difficult, but she found that she didn't have to put effort into it like she figured she would–instead putting effort into keeping the hurt out of her eyes.

"Yeah," she finally whispered after a long minute of silence, where James looked just as angry and with no remorse. "Ecstatic."

She was turning without meaning to, her feet moving fast on their own accord as she threw the door open and starting running once she knew he couldn't see her. Sirius was standing in the middle of the steps, but she ran past him too, and didn't stop when he called her name.

What was with James? What was with her? What was with this situation in general?

She allowed her feet to take her away from the Gryffindor Common Room and away from familiarity. She was running through corridors and past paintings and people, but no one stopped her. Eventually she started going through places she'd never been before, and walking up and up and up staircases, until she was met with an old, forgotten door that she opened without care.

But once she entered, she stopped in her tracks, breathing heavy from the running, and stared. She was on a roof of some sort, and there was no ledge to keep someone from falling off. It was completely flat and relatively small, and she had no idea what was under it, but she cautiously made her way across it. When she reached the end, she looked down, a swirling sensation overtaking her. The drop was _so far_, and for a moment she felt like she was falling. But when she looked up and was met with the stars–the beautiful, bright stars that she never was able to see in America, she sat down, letting her legs dangle off the edge.

Her head was tilted at an awkward angle, so she lay on her back, letting herself get lost in the stars. She couldn't remember the last time she'd seem them so clearly–when she had taken Astronomy, she had always copied Phoebe because she could never make sense of anything. But now, she could almost make out each individual one, and she felt for a fleeting moment so incredibly small.

Her mind drifted, not only to James, but to what was becoming of her life.

It was so bad, she supposed. Really. All that had happened was that she got taken away from two of the best friends she could have ever asked for, and her country, to end up in a small town in England, where she met four friends, one of which meaning more than just friendship to her, went to a new school–a boarding school, t that–where she was reunited with three of the four people, and met five new friends, but the boy who had meant more than friendship had decided that she wasn't worth her time after he had said he loved her.

No biggie, right?

Except she could physically feel the ache in her body, and she hated it. She hated the feeling, hated herself for feeling it, hated James for making her feel it, and most of all, she hated the way that when he'd yelled that she didn't live up to his expectations, the heat that entered her veins and the butterflies that entered her stomach when she thought of what he'd said on that last day of summer had instantly been smashed. All the angst was catching up to her, and she was suddenly wishing with all her might that she was somewhere else. Maybe on one of the stars above her head, or maybe somewhere hot, like the Sahara desert, so when the heat in her veins left her, she wouldn't notice.

"It looks like you've found my favorite part of the whole castle," a voice said, one vaguely familiar.

Lily craned her neck to see who had interrupted her thoughts, and was met with a pensive looking Remus Lupin. They hadn't talked that much in the past month that she'd been at Hogwarts, since he was usually with the Marauders, and the Marauders weren't usually around the girls since James made a point to avoid Lily. When the Marauders had been around–James excluded–Remus was relatively quiet, or at least more so than Sirius, who loved to stela the spotlight, so Lily didn't really know much about him.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked, and Lily sat up.

"Go ahead," she answered. He walked over and sat down about a foot away from her, letting his feet hang just like hers were.

They sat in silence for a couple of seconds, both of them watching the stars or the trees of the Forbidden Forest, or the light flickering in Hagrid's hut, until Remus broke it in a soft voice. "I heard what happened with you and James," he said.

Lily tried to shrug casually. "Yeah."

"You okay?" he looked sideways at her.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Listen," he said after a slight pause, now fully turning towards her, sitting cross-legged with his elbows propped on his knees. "I know we don't really know each other very well. Or at least, you don't know me very well. But I heard so much about you over the summer. And I just...I want to let you know that if you want to talk, you can talk to me. James is my best friend, but he's also incredibly stupid and likes to make the wrong decisions."

"Do you think I was one of those wrong decisions?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"No," he answered, and she looked at him, scanning his face for a flicker of dishonesty. There was none. "But I think what he just did was one of them."

"Did all of Gryffindor hear it?" she mumbled, and he cringed apologetically in response.

"A little," he answered.

She sighed. "Whatever. He's such a fucking _ass_." She kicked her foot against the wall under her.

"He gets like that. I told you, he likes to make the wrong decisions. Usually when he's too confused to see what's right in front of him."

"And that's an excuse?"

"No," Remus said automatically. "But that's how James is."

"And now what are you going to throw at me? Something along the lines of, 'he likes to fuck anything in a skirt?'"

"Yes."

Lily did a double-take. "What?"

"Yes," he said again, nodding. When she didn't answer him, he continued. "James...is very complicated. Especially with girls. He'll probably try to make you jealous. Flirt with your friends, get random girls to sleep with him, date as many girls as possible. He just likes to feel like he's in control."

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life."

He nodded. " I know. But if you can get passed it..."

"If I can _get passed it_? I'm going to let him treat me like _shit_, Remus."

He shrugged. "No one deserves someone that treats them like shit."

"So what're you saying?"

"Honestly?" he asked, and Lily nodded. "I have no clue. I just thought you'd like to know."

"Yeah. Thanks," she said.

"No problem."

They sat in silence for a couple more minutes. Lily let everything Remus had said wind its way into her head. It didn't make much sense–especially considering what he'd just said to her–but she supposed it didn't make much sense to Remus either, or even James. Once thing that did make sense, though, was that if he was going to treat her like that, she was definitely not going to waste her time on him.

But then why was it hurting so much? Honestly, she didn't think that it would have had this much of an affect on her. It was just a boy, just a summer. It was just James, but in the end, she was wishing she'd had more time.

**AN:** Don't forget to review!


	11. Smack That Pig

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the songs mentioned in this chapter.

**AN:** And anotherrr chapter. I'm thinking about changing to the title of this fic to something more relevant than 'Oh, Bugger.' What do you think?

This one I think is longer than the last one, and when I reread it, I realized that it really didn't have much of a point, but, I don't really care. So, here's to hoping you enjoy it, & thanks to...

**SweetSouthernGal:** I know he's an ass, & it kind of makes me sad, because I love him so much. But, it'll get better, don't worry.

**eternal-charmer**

Alaskan Chick

siriuslyblairrr

thestoicwarrior: hahahaha, wow, you're like, my favorite reviewer, ever. That made my day:).

**messyblackhair66**

LuckyDog18

emeraldeye: hah, yes, definitely.

**Ellz**

TiniLove

live4eva: aww, thank you!

**blondewivbrains**

EternalWords: aww, seriously? I'm not sure if I should being saying I'm sorry or thank you, haha.

**Drunk Cow**

xxxHPxxx

sncaggie

Miharu Fujiwara

piggy396

**Chapter Eleven: Smack That Pig**

Lily sighed, folding her legs under her in the uncomfortable wooden chair. She was sitting in the library, doing some extra credit work for Professor Slughorn, because she had failed the last quiz. Honestly, it wasn't her fault–she just hadn't learned above the components of love potions in America. At least, she just hadn't been paying attention...

But the extra credit was easy, and she didn't really mind. It was on the truth potion, Veritaserum, which was something that she had already learned, so all she needed was a couple books to refresh her memory.

"I see you're working on Slughorn's extra credit," a familiar voice said.

Lily lifted her eyes from the dot of ink that had fallen from her quill onto her parchment to meet Paris'. She smiled. "Mm, yeah, I must say it's rather intriguing."

"Really?" he asked, sliding into the chair across the table from Lily.

"No," she replied. "Not at _all._"

He smiled. "They never are."

Lily slammed the textbook that was in front of her shut with a low snap, and shoved it to the side. "So," she said, resting her elbow on the now-free table, and her chin on her palm. "Long time, no talk. What's new?"

"Eh, not much. Schoolwork and all that."

"Sounds fun. How are Gee and Delilah? I haven't gotten a chance to write yet."

"They're good, last time I heard. Delilah's working at the Café after school, and Gee hired someone to work in my place while I'm here, same with you."

Lily nodded. "Cool."

"Yeah. So, what's new with you?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, not much. Trying to bring my grade up in Potions, but other than that everything's fine."

"I see you've befriended the Gryffindor girls."

"Yup."

"That's good." There was a slight lull in the conversation before Paris said, "How are you holding up?"

Lily rolled her eyes and groaned. She knew exactly what he was talking about–James. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?" she whined. "I don't have cancer, you know, it's not like I'm dying. _I'm fine._ Merlin."

And that was the truth–sure, she was hurt that he had said it, and yes, every time she saw him there was anger bubbling inside her, but it had been five days ago, and she didn't think about it every second of the day like everyone thought she did. It didn't tear her apart, and she just wanted everyone to see that she was perfectly fine without James–she'd only known him for one summer. She was fine without a significant other at all, at least for now.

"Hey," he said, raising his palms up as if to surrender. "I was just asking."

"Yeah, you and everyone else and their _mom_."

"That's just because people care about you," he cooed teasingly, leaning over the table to pinch her cheek, his lips puckered. She slapped his hand away and smiled.

"You're so stupid."

He leaned back and tipped his chair onto the back two legs. "I try."

"I'm going to laugh if you–" His chair flipped over and she snorted, "fall."

"Oww," he moaned, but the only response he got from Lily was laughter.

XXX

"Class, settle down." Professor McGonagall's voice rang out clean and stern and instantly hushed her Seventh Year Transfiguration class.

All, except of course, Sirius Black.

"What if I had a thing on the side? Made you cry? Would the rules change up? Or would they still apply? If I played you like a toy? Sometimes I wish I could act like a boy," he sang, too high and off key, taking no notice to the fact that the room had gone silent, before his last note–which seemed to be dragging on for eons and making everyone in the room cringe–was ended by Remus smacking him on the head with his Transfiguration textbook.

"Padfoot, shut up!" he said.

"Ouchie!" Sirius exclaimed, rubbing his head where it had been hit with a scowl. "I just lost valuable brain cells from that, Moony!"

"That is just too easy to comment on," James muttered, shaking his head with a small smirk on his lips.

"Mr. Black, if you could please refrain from singing Muggle songs–or anything, for that matter–in my class from now on, I'd appreciate it, or else it will be detention at eight o'clock for a week."

Sirius' gray eyes lit up as he looked at his professor. "Min McG!" he said, addressing her as he always had. "I didn't know you knew Muggle songs like that!" She did not answer him, instead pressing her lips into a thin line, so he continued. "Maybe you'll know this one, too! Ready?" he asked, standing up with a screech of protest from his chair, and clearing his throat before starting. "Smack that, all on th–"

"Oh, God, someone stop him, please," Alyssa groaned as he started making hand gestures, and Remus yanked him back down into his seat.

"Mr. Black, would you like to join me for an evening detention?" McGonagall's eyebrows were raised, making her hairline rise with her bun, and though it was posed as a question, it was very clearly a demand.

"Yes, please," he answered, nodding.

"I can never win, can I?" she mumbled, earning a small chuckle from Lily as she was standing right next to her desk.

"Now," Professor McGonagall said loudly. "I'd like to start with the lesson plan for this afternoon's class. You will be given partners by my choosing to turn into the animal that you most see them as. This," she said, walking through the aisles as she spoke, "does not give you the option to turn your fellow classmates into anything derogatory or mean. Please take this opportunity as a privilege, since instead we could be taking notes out of the chapter from your textbooks."

When she was met with silence, she walked over to her desk to retrieve the list of partners. "Please move your things from your desks," she said, and after they had all complied, she flicked her wand and the desks were along the wall. "Once you get your partner, pick a place in the room to perform the transfiguration. You should all know the incantation from last class, and I will not be repeating it. Here are your partners–Paris Martinez and Alyssa Grove. Richard Emerson and Philip Forest. Sirius Black and Stevie Jenkins. Carmen Ventimiglia and Kevin Marks. Shia Kent and Rachel Moore. Remus Lupin and Tyler Greene. Sophia Benjamin and Addison Philips. James Potter and Lily Evans–"

_Don't scream, don't groan, don't whine,_ Lily repeated in her head. _Don't scream, don't groan, don't whine_.

She didn't listen to the rest of the partners, instead pushing her chair off to the side of the room and putting her books on one of the desks. She pushed her sleeves up, as if she was about to fulfil an unclean task, before turning to look for James. He was standing leisurely against the opposite wall, twirling his wand between his fingers, waiting for her to come to him.

Well, call it childish, call it stupid, call it whatever you want to, but _she_ was not coming to _him_–_he_ was coming to _her_. She wasn't on his beck and call–she wasn't available whenever it was easiest for him. That was definitely not how it worked.

With that thought in mind–as well as a full blown rant–she pulled herself onto the desk and sat with her legs crossed and a glare in her eyes, waiting for him. The seconds ticked on by, and he kept up a casual conversation on the opposite side of the room with Remus, who was working on transfiguring Tyler. He didn't seem to mind that Lily wasn't there, instead letting his wand twirl and twirl and twirl.

What had it been now, a minute? Two? Lily's patience was running low.

"Potter!" she barked, purposely using his surname. His head snapped over to her, almost as if he had known where she had been waiting impatiently but she hadn't seen him glance her way. She snapped her finger and pointed to the floor under her, as if to tell him to come to her. He lifted an eyebrow at her.

"Get your scrawny little ass over here," she said, and even though they were on opposite sides of the room, she knew that he had heard her.

"You're in England now, darling, it's _arse_," he commented. Her eyes narrowed at the word 'darling.' Where did he get off calling her _darling_ after–

"Just get over here," she said instead of voicing her thoughts.

He sighed, mumbling something about 'at your command' and slowly put one long leg in front of the other, making his way towards her lazily. Once he reached her, he threw his hands out to either side of him, as if he was some sort of prize.

He wasn't, in any way, shape, or form, a prize, in Lily's opinion.

"Let's get this done," she said, pushing herself off of the desk and standing five feet away from James to perform the incantation.

"What's with the hostility, Evans?" he asked, also using surnames, which Lily immediately noticed. The name 'Evans' had never sounded so abused in her ears.

"Just stay still," she said.

"What are you going to turn me into?" He leaned in closer to her.

"Just stay still," she repeated, ignoring his question.

"Maybe it'll be a–" Before he could continue his sentence, Lily had waved her wand and muttered the incantation, and the rest of his comment just came out as _oink, oink, oink._

Lily smirked. "I think it's a scary resemblance," she noted to him. "The nose–definitely. And same with the weight, you know, you might want to work on that, _sweetie_." She knew she was lying–that yes, James' nose was big, but it fit his face and in no way was it unturned. And his weight? Was she insane? He had lean muscles, and a lanky form. No one could ever even consider calling him fat.

"But what's key is probably the personality," she finished. That wasn't so much a lie as the others were, to her.

He oinked angrily, and perhaps a bit too loudly, which caused everyone in the room to turn towards them. The first person who put it together–a smirking Lily, an angry pig, a missing partner–was Sirius, surprisingly, and he gave a bark of laughter.

"That's James!" he said, and the tip's of The-Pig-That-Was-James' ear's turned pinker. The entire class was then in hysterics, and the pig waddled his way over to Professor McGonagall, nudging her leg with his nose and oinking.

She looked down at him, her eyes round, before searching the room for Lily. Once she found Lily, she sighed. "Miss Evans, please turn Mr. Potter back into his original form."

"Original form? That's how he was to begin with!" she laughed, followed by the class.

McGonagall's lips twitched, before she took her wand and waved it at the pig, which turned promptly into a handsome James Potter, on all fours. He quickly stood and made his way over to Lily, a gleam in his eye.

"You're going to pay for that, Evans," he said.

Her smirk widened. "Try me."

Once the words were out of her mouth, his wand was waved and she felt like she had been drenched in hot water, her skin tingling oddly and uncomfortably. And before she knew it, she was getting bigger and bigger.

She looked down and saw James, who was the one smirking now. "How do you like that?" he asked pompously, even though she had no idea what she was.

"Did you–did you just turn Lily into a _hippo_?" Remus asked from across the room.

_Oh lord._

"Maybe," James said, twirling his wand like he had before.

Lily stomped her foot. The tables next to her rattled, and James, who was the closest to her, stumbled before regaining his balance. This, however, got McGonagall's attention, who sighed, rolled her eyes, and waved her wand at Lily. Lily felt the same sensation as before–the hot, hot water–before turning back into her regular self.

"I'd say that was an improvement," James said once she was back to normal.

"I'd say yours wasn't any different at all," she commented dryly.

"Potter, Evans," Professor McGonagall said, suddenly right next to them. "Detention tomorrow at eight, my office." She gave them a thin-lipped smile–was that what it was supposed to be?–and a glare, before turning back to Shia, who she was helping with the incantation.

"Great job, Potter."

"Me? You're the one who started it!"

"And you're the one who got us detention."

"You can't blame this all on me."

"Too bad," she said, grabbing her books as the bell rang for the end of the period. "I already did."

She made her way haughtily out of the classroom, although she knew that her exit would be ruined when she stood outside to wait for the rest of the girls to make their way together to Defense Against the Dark Arts. They came out only a second later, and made their way over to her.

"I have to say, I like Human-You better than Hippo-You," Alyssa commented.

"Hi to you too," Lily said dryly with a roll of her eyes.

"It's a compliment," Stevie reassured her, even though it came out as a question.

"I did like the pig-James, though," Carmen admitted.

"Thank you, Car," Lily said, smiling, and giving Carmen a high five.

XXX

He had a girl hanging off of his arm by dinner.

Not that Lily minded, of course. She really didn't care–why was everyone asking her that? He could have five girls hanging off him, and a line of girls he was going to string along afterwards, and flirt with all of her friends, just like Remus said he would, and she wouldn't care. Nope, not at all.

Because what was he to her, honestly? Just a guy who had delivered her pizza and she had turned into a pig.

"You're stabbing that carrot rather hard, Lil," Addison noted.

"Am not," Lily protested. She tried to get the carrot onto her fork again, but it didn't work.

"Lily," Carmen said gently. "What did that carrot ever do to you?"

"I don't know, do pigs eat carrots?"

"Um..."

"Because if they did, this carrot would be keeping pigs alive with food and then I'd have every reason to stab it, don't you think?" she questioned.

"Why do you hate pigs so much?" Sophia asked.

"They're fat," she said simply.

"Is that it?"

"And smelly." _Why didn't I mentioned stench in Transfiguration, too?_ She wondered. "And they have ugly noses. And their personalities suck."

"How would you know a pig's personality?" Lyssa asked.

"I wouldn't." Lily stood, pushing her plate away from her, standing up, and slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I'm not hungry, I'm just going to skip the rest of dinner. I'll see you guys later, I think I might work on some homework."

"Do you want some company?" Addison asked.

"No thanks, Ads," Lily said, and turned to leave the Great Hall. She passed James on her way out–he had sat closer to her during this meal than he had all year–and he looked up at her, his eyes shining and he was laughing at something someone had said.

Was he taunting her?

She looked straight back at him, trying to keep her face expressionless, but she knew that her eyes had turned icy. But in a few seconds, the moment was gone, and she was past him, making her way to the doors. Only once she was out of them, she had no idea where she wanted to go. Honestly, she had no desire to go to the library, no desire to do homework. Not because she was angry–because remember, she didn't care if he had a girl on his arm–but because she didn't want to think. Instead, she tried to make her way back up to the flat roof where she had talked with Remus.

Ever since they had shared that night on the roof, discussing James and staring at the stars, something had clicked between them. Although they couldn't exactly be considered friends, Lily made sure that when she passed him in the halls, she smiled, and when he was around, she engaged him in conversation. He wasn't nearly as quiet or shy as she had originally thought he was, instead proving to her that he was more like Sirius and James, though he was, in truth, a little more laid back than they were.

She was winding through hallways that had only a trace of familiarity, but she couldn't remember which way she had turned whenever one hallway merged into two different ones. Eventually, she just gave up, tossing her bag towards one of the walls and sitting down next to it. The floor was a little grimy, considering there were no classrooms in this part of the castle and not many people ventured into these halls. It felt like the floor of her gym from her elementary school back in America.

She put her legs out in front of her and grabbed some parchment and a quill out of her bag. Her and Phoebe and Scarlet had been keeping up a shaky correspondence and she was going to write them a proper letter.

_Dear Scarlet and Phoebe,_

_I miss you guys sooo much. England is...England-ish, I suppose. I think I'm starting to get a bit of an accent, which sucks. Anyway, Hogwarts is really different from good ol' East Coast School of Magic, but I've got to say, Hogwarts is so much more pretty. It's a freaking huge castle, and it's just so beautiful. I've already found myself a roof to sit on._

_I'm pretty sure you guys would love the guys here. Especially Sirius–remember that one time over the summer and you called, Scarlet? And I told you about the guy in the leather jacket? That's Sirius. Though he's really not as bad-boy as he gave off that day–he's too happy-go-lucky for that._

_Then there's James, who I've told you guys about before. But, he's a total ass, and I turned him into a pig today. Then he turned me into a hippo. Let's just say he led me on, then dropped me. Needless to say, we're not exactly on good terms._

_Anyway, then there's Remus, who's like them, but he can settle down more than they can. Like, he's got no problem doing his own homework and reading a book. And he's really sweet._

_Those are really the only one's I think you'd be interested in, though there are quite a few hott guys here. More than at ECSM, that's for sure. England's hogging them!_

_I've made some good friends, too, though we're definitely not as close as we are. I guess I should start with Alyssa and Carmen, since they're the loudest, and they remind me most of Phoebe. They're the most boy crazy, too. They're real sweethearts, though, and they know how to make anything fun. _

_Then there's Sophia, who curses like a sailor and is probably the smallest person I've ever seen, ever. She looks all innocent and sweet, but she can be a really loud and really mean when she wants to. _

_Then, there's Addison, who is probably the nicest. She's really sweet, and even though she's not friends with everyone like Alyssa and Carmen, those who she is friends with, she's really close to. _

_And last but not least there's Stevie, who's most like Addison, but she has those times when she's full of energy and will go up to anyone and start a conversation. She's more laid back than the others, I suppose._

_I hope everything's going well over there. How is everyone? What's happened? Please write back, I really miss you guys._

_Love,_

_Lily_

She finished her letter with a flourish, before blowing on the ink to get it to dry faster. Her toes were starting to go numb from not moving them, and she wiggled them within her shoes. She then rolled up the parchment and stuck it in her bag, before getting up.

She wasn't angry anymore–she wasn't angry in the first place, remember?–and decided to make her way to the Common Room...if she could find her out of this maze of hallways.

She looked around and saw nothing familiar.

"Aw, shit," Lily said, her voice echoing off the walls.

_This is going to take all night, isn't is?_ She thought miserably. And all because she'd wanted to sit on a rooftop.

XXX

She'd been wandering for what felt like hours, but was really only forty-five minutes. But her feet were starting to hurt from the small heel of her shoe, and her legs were protesting moving, and her eyes were starting to droop. She was starting to get annoyed.

"Hellooo?" she called down the dark hallway to her right, and then to the left. No answer came, so she spun in a circle with her eyes closed and a finger pointing to see which direction to go in. When she opened them, she was pointing to the one to the right, so she shrugged and sluggishly made her way down the hall. She let her finger trail the wall, sometimes making a beat with fingernail, or clicking her tongue.

It was all getting very tiring, and _why weren't there any portraits in this part of the castle to help her get to the Gryffindor Tower?_ Honestly, there were portraits everywhere else, where you wouldn't want them, or wouldn't expect them–like one's right outside the bathroom that asked you if you were constipated. But now, when she needed one the most, there were none.

"Anybody up here?" she asked to thin air. "I'm lost."

"Evans?" a voice asked behind her.

She jumped and turned, her bag still flying after she was done, falling off of her shoulder and balanced on in the inside of her elbow, pulling her to one side.

"Who's that?" she asked. Maybe she was hallucinating in her tired state, like that one time when Lily, Phoebe, and Scarlet, had to walk to Lily's house from school because they'd missed the Portkey, and it was incredibly hot outside, and Phoebe had exclaimed, "I think I'm hallucinating. Is that an ice cream truck?"

It's weird the things you think of when you're half asleep.

"It's me," the voice said.

Lily blinked. "That means nothing to me."

There was a sigh, and then a bright light, like someone lighting their wand. Ooh, someone had just lit their wand, and–thank God someone was crazy enough to come up here just like she was–it was...

"Potter?"

Oh, great, this was going to be just so much fun.

**AN:** Please don't forget to review!


	12. Heart Flutters

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. I only wish I did.

**AN:** This chapter is later than I wanted it to be, so I'm sorry. I've been coming up with plot ideas for things later in the story, and then I'd have trouble thinking of somehow working it into the story, plus theres been lots & lots of drama happening, so I've been distracted. Here it is, though, & thanks a ton to all my reviewers...

**messyblackhair66**

ThisChickNamedAsh

SweetSouthernGal: Haha, yeah, well, I can't really take credit for that ice cream truck line. My friend actually said that once when we were walking to the pool when it was really hot outside:).

**sncaggie**

emeraldeye

Alaskan Chick

phoenixfire625

live4eva

simply infatuated

EternalWords

thestoicwarrior: Haha, wow. & I know this is none of my business what so ever, but did you happen to go to the Fray concert? My sister went to it. Then again, its not like this story is only being read by people who live by me, soo, yeah.

**firewalker32**

**Chapter Tweleve: Heart Flutters**

His face was now completely illuminated by his wand light, and in contrast to the darkness that flooded all around him, there was no mistaking him–his hazel eyes, the dark freckle on the side of his cheek, his full lips–and at once Lily knew that this definitely the one and only James Potter.

Only it didn't make it any better when he said, "Yeah."

"Ugh!" she said, slightly bent over, and her eyes half closed, "You stupid elephant!"

He raised his eyebrow. "Elephant?"

"Well, it was the first thing that came to mind," she said snottily, glaring at him, though since she was half asleep, it came out more of her closing her eyes and jutting out her chin, her nose scrunched.

"Right. So, um, why are you up here?" He shifted from foot to foot slowly.

"I got lost," she slurred. "I came up here...to write a letter."

"Why here?"

"Because I wanted to," she whined.

"Evans–are you _drunk_?"

She sighed. "No, I just get like this when I'm sleepy. Why are _you_ here?"

"I'm Head Boy. I'm patrolling."

"Nyeh." She was officially crazy–she was making up words.

He rolled his eyes. "Let's get you back to the Common Room."

"No. I'll do it myself." She turned on her heel and started walking in the opposite direction, keeping her head held high.

"Evans, you're going the wrong way," he called.

She had turned before the words were even fully out of his mouth, stomping her way back over to him and then past him.

"You don't know where to go," he said. "I'll bring you back."

"Oh no, don't do that. You wouldn't want to be seen with me, so I can make it just fine."

His eyebrows were drawn together. "What?"

"I'm 'not up to your expectations,' remember?" She made air quotes lazily with her fingers, and when James rolled his eyes at her and started walking ahead, Lily ran to catch up to him and continued, although now she was mumbling. "After all, you've got that one whore now, what do you need me for?"

She hadn't meant for her voice to come out so bitter, or even loud enough for him to hear, but what was she to do? She was tired, she was missing home more than ever, especially after writing that letter, and she just wanted a hug. So really–when the guy you spent your summer with totally lets you fall on your ass and then gets a girl, how are you supposed to make your voice show that you don't care?

Because Lily definitely didn't care. Remember? She'd already told everyone that.

But James' steps stopped, and he turned to glare at her. "Isabella is not a whore!"

"Whore," Lily said flatly.

"No, she is not!"

Pause. "Whore."

"Not."

"Whore," she sing-songed.

"Do you want to get back to the Common Room or not?" he said icily.

"I'm sure I could find it on my own."

"Fine," he said, turning away from her and towards a different hall. "Do it yourself."

"Fine!" she yelled at his back, and in a few seconds he disappeared from sight, along with the light. Lily took her wand out and muttered "_Lumos!_" but for some reason it wasn't as bright as his had been. She glared at her wand. "Stupid thing."

After a few seconds of glaring at her wand, she lifted her eyes to scan the area. It was basically all stone wall–every direction she turned, there it was.

"Fuck."

This was going to be a very, very long night.

**XXX**

Eventually Lily made her way back to the Common Room. Of course, by that time it was two thirty in the morning, her feet were sore, and she was sure that she looked completely horrible, but she mumbled the password to the Fat Lady anyway, who gave her a weird look that she ignored. Climbing through the portrait hole, she kept her eyes closed, almost as if she was sleepwalking.

She bumped into something and her eyes flew open. Standing in front of her was Shia. He towered over her, but his eyes were kind–if not a little confused–when she looked up at him.

"Oh, sorry," she apologized.

He shrugged. "It's cool. What're you doing coming in so late?"

"I got lost," she mumbled, barely coherent.

A smirk formed on his lips, but when she glared at him, he covered it with his hand. "Oh. That, uh, sucks. Really bad." There was humor in his voice.

"Well, not all of us have gone here since we were eleven, okay?"

Shia nodded. "Right."

"I'm going to bed. 'Night, Shia."

"'Night, Lily," he answered, and his eyes followed her.

Lily dragged her feet over to the girl's staircase, and slowly made her way up them to the last door. She opened it and made her way over to her bed, dropping her bag to the floor. Sleep would be very, very nice right about now...

**XXX**

Lily sat the next morning in her second class–History of Magic. The Ravenclaws on the other side of the room were, for the most part, diligently taking notes, while all the Gryffindors laid their heads on their desks and took naps. She was sleepy herself, but for some reason she didn't want to fall asleep.

Her eyes traveled to all of the pupils in the class. She could see Paris sitting in the back row, sitting with one leg folded under the other, and the other dangling. His lips were slightly parted as he stared off into space, and his fingers played with a quill subconsciously. Next to him sat one of his friends from Ravenclaw named Robby–Lily had met him early in the school year when she'd been talking to Paris. Robby sat with his hand resting in his palm, doodling on a scrap piece of parchment.

Robby and Paris were different than the other Ravenclaws, Lily supposed. When the other Ravenclaws would study and raise their hands in class, Robby and Paris would not pay attention at all–and still managed to pull good grades from their natural ability of understanding things the first time. They were smart–and they probably could have been smarter if they put their minds to it like the other Ravenclaws–but they were not obsessive.

She supposed every house had those few different people. Gryffindors who weren't brave until being forced to. Slytherins who weren't going to turn over to Lord Voldemort. Hufflepuffs who weren't nice.

She scanned the rest of the Ravenclaws–they were all taking notes. She gave a small smile–trust Paris to be different than the rest.

Next she looked to the Gryffindor side of the classroom. Shia, Tyler, and the Marauders were all in the back. Sirius was sleeping, Remus was trying valiantly to pay attention, and James was throwing paper balls at the Ravenclaws, while Tyler and Shia passed a note, laughing silently behind their hands.

Around her were the Gryffindor girls, and literally all of them had closed their eyes once they'd sat down in their seats, and were still sleeping. Of course, Professor Binns didn't notice a thing.

She quickly pulled out a piece of parchment and scrawled, '_This is so boring_,' on it before pointing her wand at it and then towards Paris. It shot towards him, low to the ground, and once again, Professor Binns just kept droning on.

She glanced over at Paris to make sure it got to him safely. She saw him grab it and pick up his quill, before Robby hissed at him angrily, "What do you think you're doing?"

Paris looked over at him and blanched, before turning towards Lily and giving a very small shake of his head.

Lily knitted her eyebrows together. What was all that about? Robby had seemed to like her the few times he'd met her, but now he didn't want Paris talking to her? Paris could talk to whoever he wanted to, it wasn't Robby's decision! And since when did Paris _ever_ back down from anything?

Something was definitely going on here, and Lily wasn't sure if she liked it at all.

The bell rang abruptly, startling her from her thoughts and causing her to jerk. She scooped up her books and determinedly made her way over to where Robby and Paris were sitting, ignoring her friends half-asleep questions.

"Hi," she said once she got there, though it was short and she stared at Paris hard.

Robby elbowed Paris, and Paris shook his head. "Don't talk to me, Lily," he said, and stood to gather his books. "It's for your own safety," he mumbled quietly, though Lily caught it and she squinted her eyes.

"What'd you just say?" Robby demanded, and Paris' eyes flashed before he shoved Robby hard.

"Back off, Rob."

"If he–" Robby started, but Paris cut him off.

"Shut it. He won't be pleased with you, either," he snarled, before sweeping out of the room, his bag banging against the side of the doorway as he left.

Lily turned her eyes to Robby, but he hissed, "Get away."

"What the fu–" she started, but Robby had already fled the same way Paris had, presumably to follow his friend.

"Hey, Lil," Alyssa called to her, and she slowly turned to her friends, her mind still jumbled and moving at a fast pace.

"Hi," she said distractedly, and made her way towards them.

"How come you were on the Ravenclaw side of the room?" Sophia asked.

"I was just talking to Paris for a second."

They all nodded, but Stevie added, "Rumor has it his friend Robby's on drugs."

Drugs?

The girls made their way out into the hall, gossiping and laughing as they usually did, walking in a straight line as they always did, making a barrier in the hall so no one behind them would be able to pass.

"Sophia! Hey, Soph!" They all turned as one, even though Sophia was the only one who was being addressed, to see Tyler running out of the classroom and making his way over to them. Sophia hiked her bag farther up on her shoulder, and a slight blush graced her cheeks, but only for a second.

Alyssa and Lily noticed and shared a smirk.

"Hi," he said, out of breath, once he caught up to them, stopping in front of Sophia and keeping his eyes trained on her.

"Hey," she answered, and the other girls mumbled their greetings even though they weren't supposed to be part of the conversation.

"Can I, uh, talk to you?" he asked. His eyes flickered for the first time to the rest of the Gryffindor girls, before adding, "Alone?"

"Sure," she answered, and shot a dirty look at the rest of the girls, and even though she had to look up to do so, the girls knew that they should give them privacy. That–of course–did not stop them from scoffing and giggling, before turning and making their way away from Sophia and Tyler.

"What'd you need?" Sophia asked sweetly, turning her attention back to Tyler once she was sure the rest of the girls were out of sight and earshot.

"I–I just..." he was stuttering. "You remember yesterday..."

Sophia's cheeks glowed for a split second, and she smiled. She definitely remembered yesterday...

_Sophia had been leaving the library. She had needed to get a book to study from for a Charms test, and she had snuck the book out in her bag since Pince had a new rule–no one could take anything out of the library._ _The book was large and it hurt her shoulder to carry it in her bag, but she left it in there, shifting to hold the bag in her hands instead of on her back._

_She heard her name being called in a similar manner as it had just a few moments ago, and she turned to find Tyler running up to her._

"_Hey," she greeted with a smile._

"_Hi," he answered, clutching his side and gasping._

_She laughed. "How long have you been running?"_

"_Um, I ran down here from the Gryffindor Tower."_

"_What for?"_

"_Soph, I–"_ _he cut himself off and stared hard at her eyes instead. She tilted her head to the side, and in just a split seconds time, his lips were suddenly on hers, and he was leaning her back against the stone wall, her bag laying forgotten on the floor._ _She kissed him back, if not a little bewilderedly, before she heard a voice from right down the hall._

"_Sophia and Tyler, I never woulda guessed!" it said, and they broke apart, Tyler now panting more than he had been before, to turn to the voice. It was Shia._

"_Shit," Tyler muttered, glaring at his best friend, and running a hand through his hair._

_Shia ignored Tyler's glare and walked towards them smirking._

"_Can we help you, Shi?" Tyler asked._

_Shia nodded. "Yeah, James wanted me to find you. Said he wanted to talk to you."_

_Tyler sighed, and turned toward Sophia. "I'll see you later?" he asked uncertainly, and Sophia nodded._

_Tyler and Shia made their way back down the hall, Shia's arm around Tyler's shoulder, and once they turned the corner, she heard Tyler yell, "You stupid wanker!" followed by Shia's laughter._

"Well, I was just wondering..." the now-Tyler said, snapping Sophia out of her memory, and she lifted her eyes to his. He sighed. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked quickly, hopefully.

She shifted her bag again. "Yes," she answered, and grinned.

**XXX**

When Sophia made her way over to her friends at lunch, they catcalled and whistled. Her cheeks burned and she was fighting off a smile.

She took a seat and flatly said, "Shut the bugger up."

Alyssa laughed. "How's Tyler?"

"Fine," Sophia said briskly, grabbing a sandwich and putting it on her plate. She kept her eyes away from anyone, focusing them next on pouring pumpkin juice into a goblet.

"Are you guys dating?" Stevie asked smoothly.

"How'd you know that?" Sophia's eyes snapped up to hers.

"Shia."

Sophia rolled her eyes, but Lily smiled. She was glad there was some romance going on in Hogwarts that she heard about–excluding Isabella and James. That was just...prostitution, or something.

She took a large and final bite out of her sandwich before standing. "Well, I'm off," she said.

"Off? Off where?" Carmen asked.

Lily shrugged. "Dumbledore said he wanted to see me at lunch." The girls all cocked their heads and again, Lily shrugged. When she looked up at the Head Table, she saw that Dumbledore wasn't there, and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"I'll see you guys in class," she called, already walking away and out of the Great Hall doors. Her mind was whirling with the possibilities of what Dumbledore could possible want–she'd only been here for so long, and she hadn't gotten in any trouble yet, had she? She backtracked her stay at Hogwarts and came up with nothing. Maybe her mother needed her home or something? That was, after all, something that Mrs. Evans would do.

Lily ignored all negative thoughts of her mother and made her way to Dumbledore's office by the directions he had told her earlier. When she reached the hallway that his office was located in, he was standing outside waiting for her.

"Hello, Professor," she greeted, coming up to him.

His eyes twinkled, but then again they always did and they were standing in torch light. "Hello, Ms. Evans."

"You, um," she said, shifting her bag. "You wanted to see me?"

"Ah, yes," he answered, and started walking down the hall, motioning for her to follow him. "I have a proposition for you. The Head Girl that we had appointed over the summer never came to school, as she was going to finish her schooling at home, and we have not been able to find a replacement. I have reviewed your grades here at Hogwarts as well as when you attended the East Coast School of Magic, and talked to teachers from there as well as here, and I do believe you would be perfect for the job."

"Me?" Lily squeaked.

"I realize," he continued, "that you have only been here since the beginning of the school year, and that it must be very stressful for you as it is, but it would be an honor for you to be Hogwarts' Head Girl."

"I...I–"

"I've talked to your mother as well, and she believes that you can handle it and it would be a wonderful idea," he added, and for the first time since they had met outside his office, turned around to smile at her, the twinkle in his eyes brighter than before.

"Well, I mean–I'd love to," she said.

"Wonderful, Ms. Evans!" he said, clasping his hands quietly together and stopping in front of a portrait. He turned towards it, and Lily stopped to stand next to him. "This is the Heads Common Room. The password currently is, 'sea monkey.'"

The woman–who, by the looks of it–was a mermaid–smiled at them, and the portrait opened. Once inside, Lily realized that this was definitely, hands down, better than any room she'd been in so far at Hogwarts–except for the Great Hall, but that was only because of the ceiling.

The Heads Common Room, however, was a relatively large room, but it was packed with things–bookcases, filled with books and notebooks and old journals, oversized chairs around the room so you could sit and read a book, and two large sofa's around a coffee table in front of a fireplace, which was burning already. There were throw pillows on the sofas, and a plush carpet on the floors.

"Wow," she breathed, thinking that just minutes ago she was just another student eating a sandwich.

"Yes, well, we try our best," Dumbledore said lightly, and Lily chuckled.

Dumbledore flicked his wand and a small stack of papers appeared in front of him. He grabbed them and held them out to Lily. "These should help you get into the swing of things–it's got things like duties, prefect meetings, passwords, and such. Also–" he flicked his wand again and a badge appeared. "you're Head Girl badge."

Lily took it, the edges sharp but not sharp enough to hurt. It said in shiny silver 'HG,' and had her name in smaller print under it.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're quite welcome, m'dear. Well, sorry to leave so soon, but I have a meeting. I'll leave you to it," he said, before sweeping out of the room and in a split second, he was out of sight.

Lily ran her thumb over her badge, feeling the raised letters, and looked around the room. She found herself moving towards the sofa, and once she sat down, she melted into the comfort of it, putting her bag on the floor, and her bag and the papers on the table in front of her.

Her eye fluttered closed as she took a deep breath, and that was when the portrait opened.

And in stepped James Potter.

His head was bent down, and he was rummaging through his bag. Lily couldn't find the right words to say, so instead she said nothing, watching his fringe fall into his eyes, and every hair sit in a different way.

He looked up and saw her sitting on the sofa. "Lily–Evans." His voice was higher than she remembered, but then again, she hadn't talked to him in a while.

She nodded. "Potter."

"This is the Heads Common Room," he started, and his voice was back to normal.

"I know." She kept her eyes trained on his.

"Then why are you in here? Better yet, _how_ did you get in here?"

"I said 'sea monkey.'"

"Why are you in here?" he repeated.

"It's my Common Room, too." She propped her feet up on the table in front of her, but her eyes were still painfully connected to his–neither had looked away since he'd say the name 'Lily.'

"But...there's no Head Girl."

"Hi," she answered, waving.

"No, there's no Head Girl. Jasmine Reynolds turned it down."

He was trying so hard to understand that Lily just had to say it. "Dumbledore assigned me. Just a couple minutes ago. I'm Head Girl."

James broke her gaze and Lily wished he'd just look at her again, but his eyes were scanning the room for any indication as to if Lily was really Head Girl or not. His eyes landed on the badge. He looked to her, and her heart fluttered. He looked back at the badge, and it stopped.

Lily threw the badge to him, and he caught it easily. She saw his eyes scan over _Lily Evans_ more than once.

"You're...Head Girl," he said slowly, and looked over at her.

"Yes," she answered, and nodded.

"Oh," he said, holding out the badge for her to take, and she stood. "Well...congratulations then, I guess."

"Thanks." She grabbed for the badge, their fingers brushing together. She felt rather than saw him hold his breath, and she lifted her eyes to his. What did he have to hold his breath about?

He looked down at her–he was tall, so tall. Her relatively small frame was nothing in comparison to his large one. His eyes–just like she'd thought the first time she'd met him–had to be heaven-sent, they were too hazel to be real, but she knew they were. They reminded her of chocolate and honey and everything else a soft shade of brown, but never brown in the essence of the word.

And suddenly it seemed that they were standing very, very close. They were staring–just staring–and James took a small step towards her, so that when Lily breathed her chest touched his. Lily was sure her eyes widened a little, but she didn't move a muscle–she couldn't, and she wasn't sure she'd want to.

And then he was leaning–leaning down towards her, and Lily was cursing his height because all she wanted was for him to kiss her already. He very, very gently touched her hips with his hands, holding them close, and his eyes darted down to her lips when she licked them.

He was almost to her lips, just a breath apart, when the portrait hole crashed open, and they both fell out of the trance, springing apart–James ruffling his hair, and Lily scratching the back of her neck.

And wouldn't you know, it was Isabella who stepped through.

"Um," Lily said, turning towards James, but staring at a spot right above his head. "Good...good job with the...thing, yeah," she said, grabbing his hand and shaking it fast and awkwardly.

She turned abruptly and said quickly, "Bye, Brooks." to Isabella, giving a small wave, before darting as fast as she could out of the portrait hole, bag and papers forgotten.

**AN:** This chapter was definitely not very good like, at all. Basically it just gives hints about stuff that you won't get until you read it, but it hasn't happened yet. Not to mention the SophiaxShia thing. They sound like they're ten, and I definitely cringe when I read it, but whatever. Please review! Just click that little purple button down there that says 'go.' Thanks. 


	13. Awkward Moments and Stuttered Phrases

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Obviously.

**AN:** Hi guys. Here's another chapter for you, though it's later than I would have liked. I went on vaca with my friend for a couple of days, and even though if I wanted to, I could have finished the rest of this chapter and posted it before I left, I didn't because I was lazy. I'll have you know, though, that I just got back today, so be happy it's out now. Oh, and about the Head Girl thing, I know it's kinda really unrealizstic considering that just wouldn't happen, but I wanted to make it a little more canon-ish, even if this fic is obviously not canon. Anyway, thanks to the reviewers...

**SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind**

emeraldeye

thestoicwarrior

BrazilianPrincess

messyblackhair66

EternalWords

simply infatuated

SweetSouthernGal

moony-luvverr-furrlife

sncaggie: Oops, yes, I meant Tyler.

**siriuslyblairrr**

Telemachos: I guess I get what you mean. Yeah, I made her character really independent, but I also made her really unsure of herself, because she's a teenage girl, and really, what teenage girl isn't?

**earth godess**

**Chapter Thirteen: Awkward Moments and Stuttered Phrases**

When Lily was fully out of the portrait hole, she broke out in a sprint. When she was around thirteen, she had joined a track team they had offered at ECSM, but had stopped after only one year, but she still knew how to run and run fast.

Her arms were pumping, and her legs were barely touching the ground for a second before they were lifted again. For a moment she felt like she was running on water, but she knew it was just flooring. She kept sprinting–running around corners and dodging people who stared at her like she was crazy, but she knew this feeling. This feeling of being free while she ran, and just let go of her head and her thoughts.

It was Lily's freedom, even if she hadn't practiced in years.

But then the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, and she knew that she had to go back to class–back to ignoring James, back to pretending that ignoring him didn't affect her.

And first, she'd have to go back to the Heads Common Room to get her bag.

"Fuck," she muttered, slowing to a jog and puffing air out of her mouth. She turned and made her way back to the Heads Common Room, this time running instead of sprinting as fast as she could.

She stopped by the portrait of the mermaid, her breath ragged and uneven. "Sea monkey," she gasped out, and the mermaid smiled and allowed her to enter. James and Isabella were gone–but Sirius was lounging on one of the sofas.

"Hey, Sir," Lily breathed out. **(AN: Sir is pronounced like Sears without the 's' at the end.)**

"Hm," he mumbled. "Sir. Never heard that one before."

Lily smiled. "Well now you have."

He looked over at her and squinted. "Why're you here? I mean, this is the Heads Common Room, and James is Head Boy, and you know, last I heard you guys weren't, shall we say, close..." he trailed off, and Lily's heart thumped. They were pretty close a few minutes ago.

"I'm Head Girl," she told him. "Dumbledore just told me."

"Oh!" he sat up straighter, "Congrats!"

"Thanks," she said, and he pulled her from the waist onto his lap to give her a friendly hug. She laughed and hugged him back.

"Okay, Sir, let go of me now."

"No," came his muffled reply, which only made Lily laugh again.

"Yes," she whined. "I'm late for class. And so are you."

He shrugged. "I'm skipping."

"Why?"

He pulled a face. "Transfiguration?"

"Well, if you want to graduate..."

He groaned. "I'm still skipping."

"Alright," she said slowly.

"Skip with me," he said suddenly, and Lily looked at him like he was crazy. Skip class? When she had just been assigned as Head Girl? How would _that_ look?

"What?" she questioned, hoping she heard him wrong.

"Skip with me," he repeated.

"Um, no?"

"Come on," he begged. "Please?" Oh god–he was pouting, pulling a puppy dog face–the best face Sirius could ever make. His eyes turned large, his gray depths turning even deeper, and his lower lip stuck out in just the right way–

"I _just_ got Head Girl, Sirius." Oh, yes–Sirius, zero; Lily, one.

"So?" he asked, dragging out the word.

Lily laughed and shook her head, swinging her bag over her shoulder. "I'm already late. I'm going to class. I'll see you."

She walked out of the portrait, even as she heard Sirius' pleas for her to stay.

She was still smiling as she made her way towards Transfiguration. Lily didn't know why, but for some reason she was in a very carefree mood–not dwelling on the kiss that James and her almost shared, nor on Paris' abruptness to end their friendship, and she had an odd spring in her step as she made her way down the halls and stairs.

And then she broke out dancing. Honestly, she didn't know why, but she just felt so _good_–maybe because she had seen Sirius and Sirius always put her in a good mood–but when she stepped off the last of the steps, she started shaking her hips and twirling in circles.

_Thump._

That is, until she ran into someone.

She looked up to be met with Shia's golden eyes once again. She smiled. "Sorry, I seem to be doing that a lot, don't I?"

He shrugged and smiled as well. "I don't mind at all."

O...kay.

"What are you doing out of class?" she asked.

"I'm 'peeing.'" Lily looked down crudely, and took a step away. He laughed, and shook his head. "Or at least that's what I told McGonagall."

"Okay, so what's the real reason?"

"Well, you weren't in class, and I was curious as to where you were."

Lily paused, and decided not to ask why he was curious. "I was talking to Sirius," she told him truthfully.

"Ah," he said, smiling and nodding. "Not anything going on there, is there?" He winked.

Lily pulled a face and laughed. "With me and Sirius? Merlin, no. He may as well be my brother."

"Oh, okay. Good."

"We should probably get back to class then," she said after a beat.

He nodded in agreement, and they made their way to Transfiguration in silence. They tried to slip in as quietly as possible, but McGonagall was staring at the door when they entered.

"Ms. Evans, Mr. Kent, please take your seats," she told them sternly.

"How come when I come in late I get a detention?" someone in the front of the class muttered, though everyone heard and laughed.

"Mr. Longbottom, I trust that you will use your brain and answer that question yourself," McGonagall replied with a hard stare. The boy–Longbottom, though Lily did not know him–turned an awkward shade of red and slumped in his seat.

Lily made her way inside the room. She looked around at the empty seats–there wasn't an empty one next to Carmen where she usually would sit because a Ravenclaw had taken her spot, and she didn't particularly want to sit with the Ravenclaws–not after the situation with Robby and Paris.

Her eyes landed on an empty seat between Remus and James–obviously where Sirius would sit–and a groan bubbled in her throat as her stomach knotted itself together.

Ravenclaws, anyone?

"Ms. Evans," McGonagall stressed, interrupting Lily's thought process. "Please take the seat next to Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin."

Well. No Ravenclaws after all.

Lily slowly made her way over to her seat. Remus welcomed her with a friendly smile and James didn't welcome her at all–instead focusing on anything but her. His parchment seemed to be a favorite of his, although there was not a single word written, and James didn't plan on using it.

She dropped her bag to the floor and slid quietly into her seat. McGonagall had resumed her lecture–Lily could see her mouth movie, forming words and sentences and instructions–but couldn't hear a word of it. The only thing she could hear was James' steady breathing next to her, the feathers on his quill moving as he ran his fingers through them, his foot tapping against the stone floor.

She stared down at her clasped hands, and decided to move them and get parchment and a quill out of her bag. All the while his breath was resonating through her ears–inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inha–

Her bag toppled over, spilling her things across the floor, and then all the sound came flooding back to her. McGonagall's voice–_"Make sure you jab your wand like so, otherwise..."_–Remus' quill scratching against his parchment, someone near her chewing gum, and she wondered why all of those things seemed so important when she'd heard them almost every day, but suddenly they _were_ important, because she no longer could hear James' even breathing or his quill's feathers or his foot tapping.

It was gentle noise, but it made her deaf to James, and she thanked God, or Merlin, or–she didn't know who she thanked. She just did.

Lily bent down to retrieve her books from the floor, her chair scraping against the floor, and her hair flooding around her. She grabbed the books from under her desk, and sat up straight, pulling her hair behind her. Honestly, it was too much to deal with half the time, she really needed to get a haircut–

"Here."

She looked up to be met with James' hazel eyes. Could it be that just minutes before they had been close to kissing?

"Oh," she said dumbly, taking the book that he held out to her. "Um, thanks."

He nodded mutely and turned back to his parchment, though it was still blank, and fiddled with the edges of it.

It was getting sufficiently awkward and Lily tucked her hair behind her ear before looking up at McGonagall, quill poised over a piece of parchment, trying to ignore that James was sitting right next to her.

"And now we will have a quiz on what we have just learned," McGonagall said, and Lily again almost groaned. She hadn't heard any of what McGonagall had just said.

"Remus," she whispered. "Can I look over your notes before the test please?"

He looked at her. "Uh," he said, and showed her his parchment. It was filled with doodles.

"Shit," she mumbled.

She really wished she had skipped with Sirius.

**XXX**

That night after dinner, Lily told the girls everything that had happened that day–ending with her almost-kiss and how James had acted in Transfiguration. When she ended her tale, she was lying on her back on her bed, one arm dangling off the end.

"So...what does that make you and James?" Addison asked from her place on the floor.

Lily sighed and shrugged as best she could. "I don't really know. He's so...so fucking confusing. One minute we're mean to each other, the next he's being eerily nice to me, the next we're almost going to kiss, and then he's being nice to me again! What's that supposed to mean?"

Alyssa sighed out, "He wants you."

"Bad," Carmen added.

"But he's scared," Stevie said.

"Because he doesn't understand it himself," Sophia finished. Addy just nodded.

"That's shit," Lily responded evenly, shaking her arm that was hanging off the bed to regain feeling in it. She knew that James didn't think of her like that–he'd made that quite clear before, and there was no need to go around feeling _special_ or whatever it was because of a freak accident. No need to obsess over it.

"Well," Alyssa said, cutting through the silence. "What do _you_ think about _him_?"

"Me?" Lily asked, looking over at Alyssa. Alyssa nodded, and she looked back up at the top of her canopy. "I think he's a pompous ass. A pompous _cheating_ ass, come to think of it. He is, after all, dating Isabella Brooks." She turned to look at her friends faces. Carmen had her eyebrow lifted, Alyssa was staring at her disbelievingly, Sophia had snorted, and Stevie and Addison just stared.

"_That_, my dear friend, is shit," Stevie commented, using Lily's previous words, throwing a Quaffle in the air and catching it.

"_Anyway_," Lily said, ignoring Stevie's comment and turning towards Sophia. "Enough about me. Soph, how are you?" She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Sophia rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, thank you."

"Anything happening with a certain Gryffindor?" Stevie asked.

"Oh, you mean Remus? Yeah, we're partners in Herbology, and our project it just going _great_, you know, we really–"

"Sophia! You know that's not what we meant," Addison told her.

Sophia smiled. "Bloody nosy, you lot are. Tyler and I are good."

"Have you kissed yet?" Lily asked eagerly.

"Lily! It hasn't even been a day!" Sophia cried, but her cheeks were turning pink.

Carmen gasped. "You have! You tart!" She threw a pillow in Soph's direction, and it landed in Sophia's lap. She picked it up and hugged it to her chest, laughing.

"It was the other day," she explained, and they all milked her for the juicy details.

"Is he a good kisser?" Alyssa asked.

"I've always wondered," Stevie mused.

"Didn't you kiss him back in fourth year on a dare?" Addison asked.

Stevie snapped her fingers and pointed at Addy. "Oh yeah! He was ruddy back then, hope he's gotten better at it..."

"Oh, thanks for that," Alyssa said, wrinkling her nose.

"We wouldn't want Soph going out with a bad kisser, now would we?" Lily said.

"No, no, definitely not," Carmen agreed.

"Yes," Sophia said loudly over them as they continued to chatter, "He's a good kisser."

"Must have gotten some practice since fourth year," Stevie muttered.

Carmen pulled a face and made a disgusted sound. "That's gross. I don't want to think about little, innocent Tyler getting any action."

"Since when is Tyler innocent?" Addy asked.

"He never seemed that innocent to me," Lily commented.

"Don't ruin my image of Tyler," Carmen said. "He's innocent. The end."

Stevie laughed. "Okay, Car, whatever you say."

"Well, it's not like he's a bloody porn star," Alyssa said.

"Or is he?" Lily questioned, and the girls all turned as one to stare at Sophia.

She squealed. "How should I know?" she demanded.

"Well, you're the one dating him," Carmen muttered, but the only thing that followed her comment was laughter, and the rest of the evening was passed with it.

**XXX**

Lily woke the next morning early, despite the fact that she was most definitely _not_ in any way, shape, or form a morning person. Her alarm had yet to go off, and the other girls were sleeping soundly in their warm beds, but for some reason or another, Lily was wide awake. Turning on her side after a moment or two of staring blankly at the pure crimson around her, she peered at her alarm clock.

_5:00_, it read in bright blue. She almost groaned, but then realized that she didn't want to. Flinging her covers off of her, she tiptoed to the bathroom to get a shower before everyone else woke up and took all the hot water, grabbing clean clothes on the way.

When Lily was all ready, her clock now read 5:45. She didn't have classes until nine, and the girls probably wouldn't be getting up until around seven o'clock, or even seven thirty if they were feeling sleepy. Instead of waiting around the dormitory for them to wake up, she grabbed her bag and made her way out of the dorm and down the steps into the Common Room, her wet hair seeping through her uniform, though she didn't much mind.

When she got to the Great Hall for an early breakfast, she found that the only others up at such an early hour was Dumbledore–when that man slept, Lily would never know–a stray Hufflepuff that Lily didn't know, and–surprisingly–Sirius.

She plopped herself down across the table from him, though he didn't see her because he had the newspaper in front of his face. She brought a hand out and pulled it down, narrowing her eyes to make sure that this was, indeed, Sirius Orion Black.

He lifted his eyes angrily, but the anger dissolved when he saw it was Lily who had interrupted his reading. "Lily!" he exclaimed, a smile brightening his face, his voice echoing through the Hall.

"Hey, Sirius," she replied, grabbing some toast from a platter in front of her and putting it on her plate. She glanced around the table eagerly for what else she would like–she was oddly hungry for so early in the morning.

"You're up early," he commented.

"I could say the same about you," she said.

"Nah, I actually woke up kind of late for me."

Lily lifted her eyes from the foods to his disbelievingly. "You definitely don't strike me as a morning person."

He shrugged. "We all have our quirks, I suppose." He put the newspaper flat against the table so he could continue to read and carry on a conversation with Lily.

"You also didn't strike me as a newspaper type, either."

He smiled. "You're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, Lil."

She snorted. "Don't go spouting off morals to me now, either. I think I may just faint from shock," she joked, grabbing some green grapes and popping a firm one in her mouth.

He merely shook his head, looking back down at the paper and turning a page. His eyes skimmed over it before stopping at a certain article that Lily couldn't see. "James isn't going to like this," he muttered under his breath.

"What?" Lily asked, and Sirius glanced up at her.

"Nothing, just some article about his dad." He folded up the paper.

"What's so wrong with that?" she asked, her eyebrows drawn together.

"His parents are divorced," he clarified, his voice dropping low so that the only other two occupants in the room couldn't hear him, although Dumbledore already knew of it.

"Oh," Lily said uselessly as nothing else she could think of was appropriate to say.

"He doesn't really like to talk about it. His old man's a good fellow, he really is. But James holds resentment to him anyway."

The question "Why?" was out of her mouth before she could stop it, though she knew it wasn't her place to ask, nor was it her business.

Sirius sighed and hesitated before speaking again. "His dad's an Auror," he explained. "A good one at that. But...once Voldemort started gaining followers and getting power, he really started getting into it. In the end, he loved fighting more than his family." He shrugged. "His mum understood, of course. She works at St. Mungo's, so she knows everything that's going on, but it got to be too much, and they divorced when James was fifteen. James has hated him ever since, even if his mum is okay now."

Lily stayed quiet for a second, absorbing everything that she'd just been told. She'd never really realized any of this–never thought about how she only ever saw his mother over the summer or how James never mentioned his father. From the moment she met him she knew James was a brave person–well, okay, after he had delivered her pizza and they got to know each other later–and when she'd gotten to Hogwarts and realized he was a wizard, she had always guessed that he would want to go out and become an Auror and fight Voldemort until Voldemort was six feet under, or he was.

But now...

Lily couldn't ever imagine hating her father. He had always been a sense of security for her, helping her through things and guiding her to where she needed to be in life. She couldn't–couldn't ever think of how it would feel if he loved something more than he loved his family, like wrestling or one of his clients from back in America. The thought alone made her feel cold, and to know that for James, this was actually true–his father _did_ love something more than he loved James or James' mother or their family as a whole, and even if it was noble, even if it was for a good cause, James was still living without a father figure that loved him enough to be there at the end of term, or to greet him on his birthday, or to send him letters from back home.

"Oh," Lily muttered again.

"Anyway," Sirius said. "His dad won some Auror thing for catching some more Death Eaters. I reckon he's got a whole room full of them by now."

"Mm," Lily said, pouring herself a goblet of pumpkin juice. "Really?"

"Yeah. He gets them a lot."

Lily nodded but decided to remain silent. After a few minutes, Sirius broke it.

"So, Ms. Evans, why are you truly up so early?" he asked, picking up a fork and shoveling the eggs on his plate down.

Lily grimaced, but spoke anyway. "I don't know, I just woke up at five o'clock and was totally awake, so I came down here after I got ready."

"Ah. Well, as you can see," Sirius replied, motioning around the Great Hall. "Us early birds are an abundant kind."

Lily smiled and looked around the Hall, which still only held a Hufflepuff and Dumbledore. "I can definitely see that."

"Hey," he said, pointing his fork at her, "I'll have you know that sometimes there is a Ravenclaw, too."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That makes the group so much bigger."

"Well, he is rather large..."

Lily laughed. "Sirius!" she scolded, although her heart wasn't in it.

He put out his hands in surrender. "Just saying." But he was grinning, and so was Lily, and even though James had a father who didn't love him, and he was impossibly hard to read because he was always changing his mind, and Voldemort was steadily gaining power and wreaking havoc on people like Lily and her family–maybe everything would be alright after all.

**XXX**

"Evans! Hey, Evans!"

Lily turned when she heard her name being called as she walked through the hallway later that day. Her eyes scanned the crowd to find who had called to her, because between the hustle and bustle, she couldn't pinpoint the voice, but just a second before she was going to turn around and continue on her way to dinner, James came jogging up to her.

"I've been calling you for five minutes," he said, only slightly out of breath.

"Oh, I didn't know. Sorry," she said, looking at him oddly.

"It's alright. Listen, since you're Head Girl and everything, I figured I should get you caught up with everything we have to do."

He was _working with her voluntarily_?

Uh, shocker.

"Well, I was just heading to dinner..." she trailed off.

"There's food in the Heads Room." At Lily's questioning look, he continued. "Sort of a mini fridge, but it's not Muggle. I guess you didn't look around that far."

"No," she replied, trying to figure out how this was working.

Okay, he decides to ignore her and be rude to her. Then they almost kiss. And now he was trying to eat dinner alone with her in the Heads Room and go over their duties? Did this strike anyone else as odd?

Then again, it was James. He liked to strike people.

"Yeah. So...do you want to?" he asked.

Lily shifted her bag before looking up at him. "Sure. Yeah, alright."

He nodded and lead the way to the Heads Common Room. They stayed quiet as they wound their way through halls and passed portraits and students, never once bumping into any of their friends or someone to stop and talk to.

When they reached the portrait to the Heads Common Room, James said the password and continued to lead her. With a wave of his wand, there was food on the table, and he dropped his bag to the ground carelessly before plopping down on the sofa. Lily cautiously sat a few seats away from him, leaving her bag in her lap.

"So, do you want to eat first or work first?" he asked her as he turned towards her.

"Um," she replied ever so intelligently, when her stomach gave a growl. She put a hand over her stomach, and blushed with a small smile.

James just chuckled. "Eat it is, then!"

They both lowered themselves so they were sitting on the ground next to the table to they could eat comfortably. Again, they were submerged in silence, only this time it felt awkward. Lily, though, did not want to initiate conversation first, her friends words floating around her head–_he wants you. Bad. But he's scared, because he doesn't understand it himself._

It really was shit. Or at least that's what she told herself as she gulped down a swig of butterbeer.

Her arms began to look rather pale compared to his tan ones that were right next to her, and she began to feel self-conscious. _Why_ she didn't know, considering he was a boy who had a _girlfriend_, and wasn't interested in her in that way, nor was she interested in him either. In any way.

Honestly.

James leaned over to pull the Muggle sweatshirt that she had carelessly pulled over her uniform back over her shoulder–when it'd fallen off, she couldn't quite remember. At his close proximity as he did this, her fingers played with the hem of her skirt.

"Right," she said once he had slowly–tauntingly, almost–sat back down. "I think I'm full. What duties are we supposed to be talking about?"

She wasn't full. She wasn't anywhere near full–she'd only eaten a roll–but she wanted to get out of her as fast as she could, before another freak accident happened. Only this time she didn't know if Isabella Brooks would be there to barge in.

"Right," he said, repeating her. "Well, we've got some–some stuff to do this year, like, ah, help plan graduation. Hogsmeade trips, a feast or two, stuff like that."

Lily nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," he said, once again repeating her and nodding his head, and Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Let's get started."

**XXX**

They worked awkwardly and professionally, with a lot of throat clearing and use of the word 'um,' but otherwise, they got their work done. They had figured out what to do for the Halloween Feast which was just around the corner, as well as ideas to present to Dumbledore for Christmas. By the end, it was near nine thirty, and Lily was getting tired as she'd been awake for far too long.

She yawned, nodding her head to whatever James was rambling on about, shutting her bag and shoving it away from her. She lay her head against the couch–she was sitting on the floor still, so it wasn't exactly as comfortable as it could have been, but she closed her eyes nonetheless.

"–Is that okay?" James asked, finishing his rambles, and Lily kept on nodding.

"Mhm," she answered, her eyes still closed.

"Tired?" he asked, amused, and she could almost feel him smirking in front of her closed eyes.

"Yeah," she said quietly, "I woke up early for some reason."

"Sirius told me," he replied, nodding even though he knew she couldn't see him.

"Sine when does he get up early?" she asked.

"For as long as I've known him, really. I never understood it–I love my sleep."

"Me too," she mumbled.

"I can tell." Again–she could feel him smirking.

"Shush." She lightly hit him on the arm with her hand, her eyes still closed.

He laughed, and for a second things felt like they were normal between them again–there were no awkward moments or stuttered phrases or almost kisses. There was Lily, and there was James, and there was the rest of the world, and maybe those three sections, although sometimes merging together or drifting apart, would always be there.

But the moment was shattered as James abruptly stopped laughing. "Er–right," he said, and when Lily opened her eyes she could see that he was sitting awkwardly with his hands on his knees and his eyes focused on the fire.

"I should probably go," she said, slowly standing up before grabbing her bag and holding it in her hands instead of over her shoulder.

"Oh, yeah," he replied, looking up at her for only a fragment of a second before looking back at the fire. "I'm going to stay here."

Lily nodded, and there was silence for a second before she said, "Well...bye."

"Bye," he answered rather quickly, and Lily now swung her bag over her shoulder and exited through the portrait hole, not looking back, no matter how much she was dying to.

She just wished she could know what he was thinking.

**AN:** Hi again. Alright, I know this is probably really stupid and whatever, but I have a favor to ask of you guys. I've got this friend, and he told me he took 17 dietary pills but he doesn't want to tell anybody, and I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if you can OD on dietary pills or not, so I need to know what to do. Maybe I'm just overreacting or not reacting enough, but it doesn't really seem to phase anybody else, but I've been freaking out. So, even if you don't normally review, please review and give me some advice--I know people are on reading right now. I don't even care if you don't comment on the fic, but please, just give me some advice. Thank you so much x.


	14. The Halloween Feast

**Disclaimer:** OH LOOK SOMETHING SHINY!

**AN:** Hi everybody. This is sort of later than I planned, but whatever. I wanted to read the new Harry Potter book before I updated--anybody else finish that yet? It was good, but I cried like fifty times.

Also, about my friend. Anyone who reviewed about him, thank you so, so much. I talked to him later, and he's okay, he threw it up. He wasn't taking them to lose weight, though, like some of you though, he said he took them to see what would happen to his body. I guess I should say that he's a little unstable; he's got depression, and I guess I've been trying to help him through it. I don't really know what kind of help he has, he's a little confusing, especially since I only ever talk to him on IM, but I know that he's gotten help. So, thanks again.

On another note, **and this is important so you may want to read it** I'm really kind of disappointed in the reviews and the views of my fic. They're steadily going down, and it's really annoying. So, I'm posting this chapter, and if I don't get enough reviews, I'm not posting again. So, keep that in mind. And here's thanks to all of those good people who actually do review...

**Lucigurl**

earth godess

smiley4ever

-EHWIES

wishfuldreams11

stardust718

HawaiianNekoZuki07

live4eva

thestoicwarrior

emeraldeye

DancingCavalier

SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind

simply infatuated

SweetSouthernGal

**Chapter Fourteen: The Halloween Feast**

The next week passed in a blur. Lily met with James multiple times to help plan the Halloween Feast that was coming up that Saturday and rushed through all of her schoolwork to have time to relax. She didn't particularly know why, but she was especially lazy–she complained almost every time she had homework, and ended up copying most of the time anyway. She was looking forward to the Halloween Feast so much that it was insane, and she planned on putting off her homework until Sunday night.

So when Saturday finally rolled around, she was more than grateful to welcome the day with no classes, and a party to end the day.

She woke up at six o'clock that morning, an hour later than she had all week long. It had become tradition for Lily to join Sirius for an early morning breakfast for classes,, and she jumped up to get ready as she was already later than she had planned.

She quickly grabbed a pair of light jeans and a tank top that showed her bra straps before pulling a zip up hoodie over her and zipping it up half way. She pulled her hair out of a ponytail, running her fingers through it quickly, and not bothering to take a shower as she had done it the night before, before grabbing her sneakers and putting them on as she walked out of the door and down the stairs.

Skidding into the Great Hall, Lily made it by six fifteen, and she calmly walked her way over to her seat across from Sirius at the Gryffindor table.

"Hi," she breathed out, plopping down in the seat.

Sirius didn't even lower his morning paper, instead taking a sip of his tea and saying, "You're late."

"Just barely!" she cried indignantly.

He lowered his paper, and Lily was surprised that it was not only Sirius who appeared from behind it, but Remus as well, both smiling.

"Remus!" she greeted, smiling as well.

"Hey, Lily," he answered.

"What are you doing up so early?"

He shrugged. "Sirius here was making a racket at bloody four thirty in the morning. Couldn't go back to sleep, so I came down with him."

"Four thirty?" Lily asked, her eyebrows raised at Sirius. "You get up at four thirty?"

"I told you we all have our quirks!" he defended.

"Yeah, but four thirty is just insane," Remus told him.

Sirius huffed. "You're just jealous."

Remus glanced at him for a second before turning his eyes back to the paper. "Of you for waking up at four thirty? Yes, terribly," he said dryly.

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh, really? Then what, pray tell, did you mean?"

"You, Moony, are jealous of my good looks and charm," Sirius said confidently, shaking his hair out of his eyes and puffing out his chest, looking up to the ceiling. Lily looked on in amusement.

Remus snorted, looking over at Lily. "Who is more attractive?" he asked. "Me–" he pulled a face, similar to the one in Zoolander, and Lily wondered if he'd ever seen the movie before, "–or him over there."

Lily shifted her eyes to Sirius, who was still posing as he had been before.

"I'm staying out of this one," Lily commented, taking a bite of egg.

"Aw, come on, Lily!" Sirius whined, breaking out of his pose.

"She just doesn't want to hurt your feelings when she picks me," Remus muttered into his cup of tea.

"Not true!"

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't!"

"Is!"

"Isn't!"

"Is!"

"Isn't!"

Lily laughed, but they continued their bickering.

"Is times a million!" Remus said childishly.

"You're just jealous because I am the God of Se–"

"Boys," another voice said, and all three of their heads snapped over to the Head Table, where Dumbledore sat with his eyes twinkling. "Maybe you should finish this argument later?"

"Yes, Professor," Lily told him quickly, before either of the two boys sitting across from her could comment. Looking around the rest of the Hall, she saw a pair of young Hufflepuffs staring at her as well as Sirius and Remus–who were now having a murmured argument–with wide eyes.

She turned around and looked back at the two boys in front of her, who were mumbling insults and bumping shoulders. She could now see why Remus was a Marauder just like Sirius and James–although he wasn't nearly as loud of obnoxious, he was still more so than most, and even though he enjoyed a good book and staying out of serious trouble, there was definitely a mischievous side to him.

"Now, boys," she said patronizingly, "You heard what Dumbledore said. Do I need to separate you two?"

"No," they both mumbled together.

She smiled, holding back a laugh. "Good."

There was silence for a second, the sound of forks scraping against their plates barely audible. "Oh! Happy Halloween!" Lily said suddenly, raising her eyes from her plate.

"Yes," they both said, smiling evilly, "Happy Halloween indeed."

She eyed them. "What are you guys planning?"

"Nothing," they said innocently.

"Right–you Marauders are doing something, aren't you?"

"Aw, Lil," Sirius said, his eyes wide and blinking. "Why would we ever do that?"

Lily snorted. "I may not have been here for the first six years, but I have heard stories, and I've known you this year. I know you guys play a special prank on Halloween–so what is it?"

"We're not doing anything at all, Lily," Remus told her, staring straight at her. Lily looked at him, holding his eyes, and trying to figure out if he was lying or not.

He burst out into laughter after only a second. "Man, I really thought I could keep a straight face for that," he said, shaking his head.

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled all the same. "Just make sure Potter remembers he's Head Boy, okay? And I'm Head Girl, so don't do anything too bad."

"Oh, we won't," they said.

Yes, Remus was definitely a Marauder through and through. Sirius just liked to show his Marauder-side on his sleeve.

**XXX**

It was getting steadily closer to seven o'clock that night, when the Halloween Feast started, and Lily's costume was not cooperating. She had decided to go simple this year–she was dressing up as a fairy. She had on black leggings that went to the middle of her calf, but when she had put them on, she noticed that they had holes in multiple places. Deciding then to just go as a dark fairy, she continued with her outfit. Over the leggings was a black short skirt, also with rips in it, but this time they were there on purpose. Now, she couldn't figure out a top to where, nor could she figure out what to do with her hair. Her makeup–thankfully–had decided to work for her, her eyeliner darker than usual, and a light dusting of sparkles on her eyelids.

"Guys," she whined. "I don't know what to wear."

"What's wrong with that?" Addison asked.

Lily looked down, staring at her tank top and hoodie that she'd been wearing all day, before looking back up at Addison. "It doesn't work with the outfit!"

"Hm," Carmen said, suddenly in front of her, staring intently at what Lily was wearing. "Where are your wings?"

Lily grabbed the wings that were sitting on her bed. They were black with sparkles similar to the ones on her eyelids.

"I think I have something that might work," Carmen said, and Lily smiled at her hopefully.

"You do?" she asked. Carmen was rummaging around in her trunk, before going over to her dresser, and then looking around the room.

"Lyss!" she called towards the bathroom, where Alyssa was. "Did you borrow my purple shirt?"

"Yeah," came Alyssa muffled reply from behind the bathroom door. "It's under my bed!"

Carmen rolled her eyes, walking over to Alyssa's bed and pulling back the blankets so she could see under the bed.

"Ugh," she commented. "This is gross."

Lily peered over Carmen's shoulder to look under the bed, and the only thing she could do was agree. Underneath Alyssa's bed was clothes, food, balled up parchment, and many different nicknacks that Lily was sure Alyssa had long forgotten about but didn't want to throw it away.

"Aha!" Carmen exclaimed, pulling out a shirt made of shiny purple material. "Is it clean?" she yelled.

"Yeah!"

"Here," she said to Lily, holding it out to her. Lily took it in her hands and held it out. It was shimmery, but she didn't know why. The material was smooth and a dark shade of purple–dark enough so that for a second you thought it might be black, but light enough so you knew that it wasn't. Pulling off her shirt and hoodie and putting on the purple shirt, she saw that it had a low v-neck collar, but was not low enough so that there was little left to the imagination.

"It's perfect," Sophia told her, and Lily smiled.

"Thanks, Carmen," Lily said. Carmen merely shrugged, smiling, before getting back to getting ready. Lily pulled on her wings before lazily waving her wand at her hand, instantly making it wavy.

She was ready.

**XXX**

When seven rolled around, Lily walked into the Hall with the rest of the girls. From what Lily knew, the feast was not like it had been the previous years. Instead, Lily had suggested having it more like how she'd done it in America–with costumes and smaller tables instead of the regular house tables, and a small dance floor over to the side. Dumbledore–who was open to anything that may help the students through the dark times that were to lay ahead of them–had wholeheartedly agreed. It was an all-ages Feast, although the first through third years had to leave by ten, while everyone else was welcome to stay until twelve.

The girls made their way over to the punch bowl where the Marauders, Shia, and Tyler were standing. Upon getting there, the conversation that the boys had been having was dropped, and after the standard greetings, there was silence, the boys eyes shifty.

"Do you want to dance?" Tyler asked suddenly of Sophia, and when she accepted, they left for the dance floor.

The silence came back after they left.

"So, what did you guys do?" Stevie asked.

"Do?" Sirius questioned.

"Who says we did something?" James said right after.

"We didn't do anything," Remus added.

"Nope, nothing at all," Shia told them, whistling a tune.

"Right," Lily said slowly. "Whatever, I don't care. Just...don't kill anybody, okay?"

"Promise," Sirius said charmingly.

"That's comforting," Addy mumbled, shifting on her high-heeled feet. She had decided to not go all out this year–instead just wearing a flowing dress and sharp heels, and when anybody asked what she was, she'd say a model, the heels making her very close to five foot eleven, making Lily feel incredibly short as she was short to begin with, and had also opted to wear a beat up pair of Converses.

"Would you care for a dance, m'lady?" Sirius asked Alyssa.

Alyssa smiled, and instead of answering, grabbed his hand and led him out onto the dance floor. Sirius threw a look over his shoulder to his fellow Marauders, and James and Remus both laughed.

"Do you guys want some punch?" Shia asked.

"Since when do they serve punch here?" Addy asked.

"Since Evans suggested it," James answered, and when all eyes fell onto Lily, she waved.

"What?" she asked when everyone continued to stare. "I like punch!"

"Anyway," Shia said. "You guys want some?"

The remaining girls all mumbled their agreement for a cup of punch, and Shia poured them all drinks, watching eagerly with James and Remus as they took their first sips.

Lily sighed. "What did you guys do to the punch?" It tasted suspiciously different than what she had picked out beforehand.

"Nothing," Remus answered.

"Are you going to keep a straight face this time?"

"Probably not."

She nodded. "Thought so." After another sip, she put down her cup. "Do you guys want to come dance with me?" she asked of Addy, Carmen, and Stevie. They agreed and started walking towards the dance floor.

"Hey wait!" James called after them. "You're all girls!"

"Ever heard of dancing with your friends, Potter?" Lily called to him, walking backwards so she could talk to him while still making her way across the room.

James looked over at Remus and Shia, looking them up and down, before pulling a face and stepping away. "Ew, no way."

Lily laughed, turning around, and making her way into the middle of the dance floor.

**XXX**

Eventually, Lily's feet started to hurt, and she broke away from the dance floor to make her way over to the punch bowl. She'd lost track of most of her friends–Remus was dancing with a Ravenclaw, James was nowhere to be found, Sirius and Alyssa were still dancing together, Carmen had found a boy to dance with that Lily had never seen before, Stevie and Addy were dancing together, Shia had gone to hang out with a few of his Ravenclaw friends, and Tyler and Sophia had disappeared–so she stood by herself, taking sips of her drink every now and then, and letting her eyes slide over the floods of people. It was just before ten, so the first, second, and third years were trying to make the most of the few precious minutes they had left before McGonagall made them go to bed.

Her feet still hurt, and she was tempted to sit down at a table, but she didn't want to look like a loner. Technically, once she thought about it, she supposed she already did look like a loner standing by the punch bowl, but for some reason her feet stayed glued to the ground. The punch was rather addicting, and she was sure if she wanted to leave it or not, especially with her cup getting dangerously low.

"Hi," said a voice behind her, and she turned to see James standing next to the punch bowl as well. He was dressed in Quidditch gear–very imaginative, Lily knew, although she herself wasn't very imaginative, since a fairy was overdone and she'd taken the wings off five minutes into the Feast.

"Oh, hi," she answered, something twinging uncomfortably in her stomach as she turned back around and James stood against the table next to her. She took a gulp of her punch as his closeness, and he looked over at her.

"Liking the punch?" he asked, amused.

"I told you I like punch."

"Ah," he nodded. "Right." They stood in silence for a second before James decided to break it. "So why aren't you out there dancing?" he asked.

"My feet hurt," she complained, lifting her foot and wiggling it, as if that showed him it hurt.

"But you're not wearing heels or anything."

She shrugged. "Still hurt." She took another gulp of her drink. "And anyway, I didn't see you out there dancing. Why is that?" She looked at him sideways.

"I was, ah–out in the hallway was Isabella," he replied, looking uncomfortable.

"Oh–oh, yeah. Yeah, right." She tipped the plastic cup back only to find that it was empty. She turned to the punch bowl, deciding to get herself some more. Her eyes caught on the doors to the Great Hall opening, and looking at the head of shocking white-blonde hair and another head of pitch black hair, she figured it was Lucius Malfoy and Rodolphus Lestrange. She debating going after them, and when she saw Paris and Robby make their way out the doors behind them, she made up her mind, putting her empty cup down.

"Excuse me," she said to James, making her way through the crowd to the doors.

"Evans? Where are you going?" she heard him call after her, but her mind was not set on answering him–it was set on why Malfoy, Lestrange, Robby, and Paris would be going anywhere together. Maybe she was overreacting–maybe Robby and Paris weren't really going after Malfoy and Lestrange, but then again, their eyes had looked rather shifty, and for some reason she had a feeling in her gut.

Shoving her way through the crowd, mumbling to a few 'excuse me,' but otherwise keeping quiet, she tried to part the masses. She reached the door, and opened it hastily, wondering how she would find them now.

"Evans!" came James' exasperated voice, and finally Lily turned to him as he came tumbling out the door.

"Yes?" she asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, Potter, nothing."

"You're following Malfoy and them, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she claimed, lifting her chin defiantly.

"You're following Malfoy and Lestrange and Martinez and that other kid," he claimed.

Rolling her eyes, she put a hand on her hip and sighed. "What's it to you?"

"You can't go by yourself."

Lily looked at him like he was crazy. "Yes I can."

"No, you can't. And anyway, you don't know where they are."

"Oh, and you do?" she asked disbelievingly.

"As a matter of fact..." He flicked his wand, mumbling something under his breath that Lily couldn't quite understand, and stood there waiting. After each second that ticked by, she grew more annoyed. As she opened her mouth to give him a scathing comment before she planned to make a grand and dramatic exit, he held his hand up to silence her, his eyes locked on something behind her.

She turned around and saw a piece of parchment flying towards him. "A piece of dumb parchment is how you know where they are? Oh, wow, Potter–wow, thanks for wasting my time."

"Shut up, Evans," James said, without much behind it, and Lily only answered by huffing and putting another hand on her other hip. "You're lucky I'm showing this to you," he told her, his eyes flickering up to hers for only a moment before they darted back to the parchment as he unfolded it. "The only reason why I am is because I'm curious too."

"Showing me what? Your parchment?"

James glared up to her. "Yes. And will you stop standing like that? You look like bloody Wonder Woman."

She decided not to ask how he knew who Wonder Woman was, instead pointedly staring at the parchment in his hands.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," he said clearly, and Lily snorted.

"Who came up with that?"

He glared at her again. "Me, Sirius, and Remus. So shut up."

"Yes sir," she mumbled sarcastically.

"This," he told her. "is the Marauders Map. It shows where everyone is in Hogwarts. It'll lead us to them so we can figure out what's going on."

"We?" Lily asked.

"Yes," he clarified, "we."

"I was thinking it was more of a just-me kind of thing, Potter," she told him. "Sorry." She snatched the parchment out of his hand before he could pull his hand back, hiding her awe when she did, in fact, see dots of people in the castle, each marked, and the castle drawing so accurate that it was amazing.

"Oh, no you don't!" he exclaimed when she turned quickly away from him. He reached out to grab the map from her, but she turned again so all he touched was air. Annoyance catching up to him, he instead stepped up to her, wrapping his arms around her from the back so that she couldn't move, and making a grab for the parchment.

It was only then that he noticed how intimate–no matter how unintentional–the gesture was.

She wiggled out from him as the doors to the Great Hall opened again and Sirius stepped out. She was opening the parchment and walking out the doors of Hogwarts and on to the ground, following the dots–and sure enough, all four of them were together. Something knotted uncomfortably in her stomach.

"Prongs!" Sirius said. "What are you doing out here, mate?"

"Nothing, Pads, I gotta go."

"Go? Why? _Where?_"

James gestured uselessly towards Lily, making unintelligent noises in the back of his throat as he didn't know what to tell him.

"You're going after Lily?" Sirius asked.

James nodded. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"She's going after her friend and Malfoy and them because she wants to know what they're doing, and I gotta go with her. She's got the map."

"The map? You showed her the map?" Sirius questioned, his voice a little loud.

"She needed help! I gotta go!" James was already making his way after Lily.

"What about the prank?" Sirius called to his back.

"Do it without me!" James called over his shoulder, and Sirius just sighed, reentering the Great Hall as James caught up with Lily.

"Evans! Wait up!"

"I told you there was no 'we,' Potter," she said.

"I'm coming. That's my map and it's my duty as Head Boy to come with you and investigate."

Lily turned to him, now that he was next to her–her legs too short to his long ones to put up much of a chase. "No it's not," she said.

"That's still my map."

"Well, where's the rest of it? They're going off of this part here." She pointed to where she saw them at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"That's all there is. We didn't put the Forest on the map."

"Shit," she mumbled, stuffing the parchment into her skirt pocket–most of it hung out, but it was better than it being in her hand–as she started to run.

"Hey, wait up!" he called after her, starting to run himself. She didn't answer him, instead gaining more speed as she got closer and closer to the Forest. "Bugger, how can you be so fast? You're short!"

"Shut the bloody hell up!" she yelled, feeling that him calling her short dignified a response.

"Did you just say bloody hell?" he asked, surprise evident in his voice.

She sighed. _Damn it_, she thought. She didn't mean to say it–but honestly, there was only so much you could do before the English slang went to your head and you started using it. She'd just hoped she could keep a little of her American-ism.

"You just said bloody hell!" Oh, he was still talking. "My little American girl's all grown up!"

Her heart thumped. What the hell? "James–Potter–whatever your name is, shut up!"

His only response was laughing, but she didn't much feel like laughing. She was overreacting–she knew she was–but then why was she feeling so scared? So Paris decided he wanted to hang out with a couple of Slytherins who liked the Dark Arts. So what?

Oh God, she was starting to feel queasy.

With a burst of speed, she entered the Forbidden Forest, only to realize that she had no idea where they had gone again. She stopped running, panting slightly and looking around her. She'd never been in here before–damn it, why couldn't she have been in here before? She needed to know where they were.

"Great," she said. "Just fucking great, I have no idea where they are."

"I do," James spoke up from behind her.

She twirled around, the waves in her hair bouncing, distracting James' eyes, before they went to her eyes again. "You do?" she asked. "Really?"

"Yes."

"How?"

"I've been there."

She eyed him. "You've...been there?"

He sighed, running a hand through his messy locks. "I'll lead, you follow."

"No," she said, looking up at him. "Tell me where it is, and I'll find it myself."

"You'll get lost."

"Who says you won't?"

"Will you just trust me for a second?"

Irritation and anger and resentment bubbled up inside her. _Trust_ him? She was supposed to _trust_ him? Right. Trust the boy who'd told her he loved her. Trust the boy who told her she wasn't up to his expectations. Trust the boy who flaunted his girlfriend in her face. Trust the boy who had been so very close to kissing her.

Trust the boy that made her stomach flop and her heart feel funny and her blood run hot.

Why was she feeling this all now? Why were the words on the tip of her tongue, waiting to be said, now of all times? It didn't matter now, it didn't matter ever, and she didn't want to say it, but it was coming, it was coming–

"Why?" she asked. "Why should I trust _you_ of all fucking people?"

"Whoa, why are you so angry?" he asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

"Just tell me where it is."

"No, I'm taking you."

"No you're not!" she yelled. "I'm going alone!"

"Why are you trying to be so brave? Damn it, Evans–I'm going. You don't even know how to get there, and–will you just listen to me?"

"Not unless you're telling me where to go and that you're going back to school, no!"

"I'm not going back and you know it, so just stop being so bloody stubborn and let me help! We're both Head students, not just you."

"That has nothing to do with the situation!" she argued, even if she knew that she needed him to lead her to Paris. But he was right–she was stubborn–and she didn't want to admit it. She just wanted him to back down so she could be right in her stubborn-ness and just be stubborn.

But James Potter was stubborn as well.

"Evans. You don't know where it is. I do. I'll take you. But I'm not letting you go alone," he said slowly, and now that he wasn't yelling she felt her anger ebbing away–no matter how much she wanted it to stay. That way she could be stubborn.

She bit her tongue to keep from saying anything she'd regret, before sighing and forcing herself to say, "Okay."

James nodded and repeated her. "Okay," he said. After a moment, he mumbled, "It's this way," pointing forward, and walking. Lily sighed, but followed him all the same.

This was definitely not the Halloween she had been hoping for.

The path that James took her on was obviously not used very often. They had to make their own path, and Lily wondered if James actually did know where he was going, but then she saw a scrap of fabric that she recognized as part of Paris' costume. Still, she had no idea where they were going–no recognition to anything she saw. She didn't expect that she would, but still, it would have been nice. Instead, she followed James blindly through the Forest, putting her faith in him even if she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him.

After forty five minutes of walking with already hurting feet and not dressed in the proper clothing, James turned around and signaled for her to be quiet. They were blocked by a few trees, but Lily could see that beyond that there were people walking around.

People dressed in black cloaks and skull masks.

Her breath caught, and she counted them. One, two, three. Only three. Four of them had left the Great Hall. Who was missing and where were they?

"We can see you, Mudblood," a voice drawled, and her breath caught again, but she couldn't remember ever releasing it the first time. She knew that voice–it was so familiar, so incredibly familiar, even if she'd only heard it for a month of her life.

"Ooh, and you brought Potter with you. No doubt that Muggle-lover led you to us?" said another voice, but the third stayed silent.

"Well, are you going to come join the party or not?" the first voice said. "I promise it'll be better than the one you two planned." The second one laughed cruelly.

Her feet were stuck to the ground. She couldn't move–couldn't _breathe_–even with thoughts raising through her mind. _Is the third Paris? Why isn't he doing anything? Why aren't I doing anything?_

Her wand was in her pocket. All she had to do was grab it and stun them all from back here. She could do it. She could do it.

And yet her body would not answer her brain, and she stayed completely still–sure that her eyes were large.

Where was her Gryffindor courage? Well, she didn't really know. She supposed it had died and gone to Hell for being such a cheap hand of bravery.

But then her legs were moving–they were moving, they were moving–and she didn't want them to be anymore. She felt James grab for her hand, but she pulled it out of his reach. She didn't want to be here–why had she followed them? Why couldn't she have just stayed at Hogwarts?

And why were her legs moving? When she had told them to move, they wouldn't, and know when she told them not to, they did? Where was the logic in that?

She shoved the branches out of he way and stepped into the clearing that the three Death Eaters were standing in. She stared at them, her eyes hard, but she didn't once open her mouth. Her hand was still not reaching for her wand–she was defenseless, there was no way she could reach her wand in time when theirs were already drawn–and they all knew it.

But then James had stepped into the clearing as well, standing in front of her and blocking her view of them. She didn't have to see his front to know that his wand was drawn.

"Protecting her?" the first voice said, "How cute."

Resentment grew in her chest–for that stupid man behind the mask, and for James. She could protect herself.

She stepped up next to James, this time her hand gripping her wand in her back pocket. She could do this–she could.

"Lily," a voice suddenly rasped, but it wasn't one of the three standing in front of her. Her eyes searched the clearing to find who it was that had spoken–the voice was more familiar than the other two, but yet so very different at the same time–and that was when her eyes fell on Paris. Paris–Paris, it was Paris. Only...it wasn't her Paris. He wasn't standing against a building with a cigarette and his foot propped up, he wasn't hugging her in greeting, his arm wasn't around her. It was a Paris covered–_covered_–in blood. Her heart lurched, as did her stomach, and she knew now with all her heart that she couldn't actually do this. Paris was in front of her–crumpled on the ground, breathing heavy and blood seeping through his shirt–how could she ever do it? "Lily," he rasped again, his eyes fluttering open and closed and looking more bloodshot than she'd ever seen anyone's eyes. "I–I think I'm dying."

**AN:** I don't know what I can say after that kind of ending except review. Remember I'm not posting again if I don't get enough. Thanks. 


	15. Even Better

**Disclaimer:** Does it look like I own Harry Potter? Because I don't. Though, I've gotta say, I wouldn't mind if James Potter or Sirius Black or Remus Lupin or Draco Malfoy or Cedric Diggory or Ron Wesley or Harry Potter owned me...;)

**AN:** Long time no update! Sorry bout that. It's not because of my ickle threat of no more updates that I said last chapter, as some of you may think. Honestly, I wouldn't leave this fic just because of some lacking reviews. Sure, I love them, and I miss them when I don't get a lot, but I wouldn't actually stop writing just because you don't review. Just as a heads up in case I use that threat again. Anyway, the real reason I haven't updated lately is because this chapter was so frikin hard to write. Really. I've had it in the makings since the last chapter was put up, and I've been adding little by little since then, but it's hard to write this sad stuff. So, I apologize. I'm not sure if it's any good, but hey, tell me what you think. Here's a thanks to all of those who did and please follow their example...

**IkiNdeR**

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-EHWIES: Yeah, I know it makes me sound like that. But like I said above, I'm not about to stop writing because of that. I suppose it's kind of low of me to say that, so, I'm sorry. But I get where you're coming from.

**IAMSOAP**

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**Chapter Fifteen: Even Better**

Her wand was no longer clutched in her hand. In fact, she wasn't even sure how she was hanging onto the Earth, but all the same, gravity kept her there, no matter how much she was sure she should have fallen off by now. Her feet, again working on their own accord, practically flew over to where he lay–not thinking of the three Death Eaters pointing their wands at her, not thinking of James being there, not thinking of anything at all except Paris.

She dropped to her knees, her hands reaching out to him. How could–how could...He was bleeding. _Bleeding._ There was red everywhere around him–on the grass and dirt and rocks, on his shirt–everywhere.

Her hands grabbed his–they were covered in blood just like the rest of him.

"Lily," he pleaded and took a deep breath before continuing. "Lily, I'm–I'm sorry–I didn't want to. I _didn't_–I'm sorry–I never wanted to join them–they made me–Lily–please believe me–I–I–they said they'd kill Gee–and–and–Delilah if I didn't–and _oh, God_–Lily, I'm sorry–don't hate me–please don't hate me–_please_–Gee–Delilah–it's not my fault–I promise it's not my fault–I didn't mean to–I didn't want to–it's not my fault, _it's not my fault_."

She found she couldn't speak. She wanted to console him–tell him that it was okay and she knew it wasn't his fault and he wasn't going to die and everything would just be _alright_, but when her mouth opened, no noise came out.

But he was still talking, his words jumbled and he couldn't make full sentences. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice choked. "I never meant–I just–I couldn't let them–Delilah's–and Gee, I just–and I never meant to–honestly–just don't hate me–it's not my fault–Lily, I'm sorry, I'm _so_ _sorry_–please forgive me, I'm so sorry."

"No," she said, her voice finally working, though it was high and choked just like his. "No, it's okay. You're gonna be okay, I promise. It's okay, I understand. You're gonna be okay, it's okay–it's all okay."

His hands were shaking in hers. His eyes were welling up with tears, and there was still–there was still blood. She didn't know why he was bleeding, and her eyes searched around her before they fell on a dagger that lay in the bushes. It was covered in blood–dripping onto the bush itself–just like everything else, and she gave a choked sob.

She was crying? Since when was she crying?

Lily lifted her hands to her face to feel if there were any tears, only succeeding in mixing them with blood.

"No, Lily," Paris said, gulping down saliva and blood, "It's not–it's not gonna be okay. Nothing's going to be okay–I'm just–I'm so sorry–I didn't mean to–it's not my fault–I'm sorry."

Lily closed her eyes, lifting her head up to the sky. She didn't know what to say–what to do–what to think–all she knew was that Paris was dying and she didn't know how to stop it. She had to stop it–but she didn't know how. She'd never tried to learn any healing spells because she had never needed them before–and she didn't even know the incantation to try and half-ass it.

She opened her eyes, looking back down at Paris, only to find that his eyes were closed, his head turned to the side. _Oh, God,_ she thought, hoping beyond hope and praying beyond prayer that he was okay.

Her hands groped for his wrist, her hands trailing blood on his arm as she searched. When she found it, she pressed her fingers to it, hoping to find a pulse.

_Please let there be a pulse, please God, let there be a pulse_, she thought, eyes focused on his wrist. Eventually she felt it, a soft _thump, thump_, irregular but still there.

She took her hands away from him, staring at them. Both of them were covered in blood–as were her leggings and her legs and her skirt and Carmen's shirt and her face–but she didn't care, she just _didn't care._

Her eyes were still on the blood on her hands. The blood...there was magic in this blood. _Magic_–something that not everyone had, something they were _privileged_ to have–yet his heartbeat was still getting steadily slower and uneven. If there was magic running through him, why couldn't it save him?

Lily shook her head, the waves again bouncing. What was she doing?

A hand gently touched her shoulder, and she spun around fast. Her breathing was raged, and when she came face to face with James, it became even more so. She didn't need him seeing her like this–not covered in blood and a hysterical mess–not when Paris was dying. She wished he'd just disappear–Paris was already leaving her, she didn't need James to prove that he could leave her too, especially when he'd done it before. She gave another choke sob before muffling it with her hands.

"They're gone," he told her, and for a second Lily didn't even remember there had been anyone else here. "Apparently they took down the Anti-Apparition wards for this section on the Forest."

She didn't care.

"I'll carry him back to Hogwarts," he whispered, and all Lily did was stand.

"He's still alive," she said, her voice not sounding like her own. "Just..." she swallowed, "not very much."

The walk back to Hogwarts was quiet. Lily was trying her best not to shake, and James was struggling with Paris. James didn't want to broach the subject, and even though he wasn't at all close to the boy in his arms, his throat had turned scratchy. The blood was now on him too, his quidditch costume now turning an awkward shade of brown.

When they finally arrived at Hogwarts, Lily's steps quickened as she half-jogged towards the Hospital Wing, every few seconds looking back, her eyes trained on Paris.

Paris was miraculously still breathing, but only just. His body was limp, his eyes shallow and shut. James couldn't bear to look down at or the wound in his stomach, nor look up at Lily, so James kept his eyes on the tiles under his feet.

Lily threw open the doors to the Hospital Wing, screaming, "Madame Pomfrey! Madame Pomfrey, we need your help!"

A young medi-witch came bustling out of her office. She was slightly round, but her face was bright and caring, and her voice was high-pitched when she exclaimed, "Dear me! What happened?" Her eyes looked over Lily covered in blood, James covered in blood, and Paris also covered in blood in James's arms, who although his eyes were closed, was coughing violently, a small trickle of blood running down his chin.

But she didn't wait for an answer, instead pointing her wand at Paris and making him float to the nearest bed. She drew the curtains around him, insisting that Lily and James wait outside for news instead of staying by his bedside. Lily, who was still a hysterical mess, protested, but her words were jumbled and neither James nor Madame Pomfrey knew what she was pleading.

How Madame Pomfrey got Lily out of the Hospital Wing, James didn't know, but only seconds later, they were both standing outside the door, their clothes now clean from Madame Pomfrey's quick spell.

They stood in silence–they hadn't spoken to each other since the clearing. Lily was visibly shaking–she could feel it as well, but she didn't care anymore about hiding it–and James looked a little shocked. He had a small gash on the side of his face from when he had dueled all three of the Death Eaters when Lily's back had been turned, but he couldn't feel it anymore, and Madame Pomfrey had more important things to think about–she didn't even seem to notice James's face.

Lily's hands were raking through her hair nervously. He was going to be okay–he had to be–but the feeling that had developed in her stomach when she'd seen him leave the Great Hall was now even worse, and her breathing was uneven.

They stood–unable to sit–for a half an hour before Madame Pomfrey slowly came out of the Hospital Wing. Her eyes weren't on them, but after she shut the doors, she sighed and raised her eyes to theirs.

"I–" she faltered. "I'm very sorry. I tried everything I could, but by the time I was ready to patch him up and give him a Blood Replenishing Potion...he was already gone." She said the last portion of the sentence very quietly, and stared at Lily hesitantly.

But before the words were even fully out of Madame Pomfrey's mouth, the knot in Lily's stomach seemed to reach up, twisting its cold, icy fingers around her heart, and then up to her throat. She stayed quiet for only a moment before asking, "He's dead?" rather bluntly and harshly.

"Yes," was Madame Pomfrey's quiet answer.

Lily closed her eyes, and when they popped back open, they were a violent shade of green with emotion. "How could–how could he be–what's this fucking school good for anyway? Magic? _Magic,_ is it?" she spat incredulously, glaring. "Then why couldn't it save him? Why not? Why wouldn't it save him–_why didn't it save him?_"

"Lily," James said, her first name already said before he thought to call her by her last.

But she didn't want to listen. "No! You're just as bad!"

James didn't know what she meant, but he didn't press it–her shaking had lead to her legs turning into jelly, but she was still standing–still fighting, still alive–and her eyes, it seemed to him, were surprisingly dry.

He reached out to her, but she shrugged him off, stepping away as if scared. "Stop it!" she screeched, but James didn't listen, instead coming even closer and wrapping his arms firmly around her. She fought, yelling obscenities and hurtful words and hitting her fists against his chest, and he hesitated for a moment, thinking that maybe it was best he let her go, but he now knew that she was indeed crying–she seemed to be choking on her words–and he knew that he wouldn't be able to let her go even if he wanted to.

But just as suddenly as she had fought against him, she stopped, her fists against his chest now curling themselves around the material of his shirt, latching onto him. Her legs were now giving way, but his arms were tight around her, and he supported her. Her face was buried in his shirt, her sobs choking and heart-wrenching, and James felt his chest constrict, and when he opened his mouth to give consoling words and whisper nothings against her hair, his voice was deeper than usual.

"Why couldn't it save him?" she asked, before repeating it. She couldn't stop the question–every time she finished asking, she'd have to do so again.

Lily's mind was in disarray–she couldn't focus on anything other than Paris–and it seemed that a slide show was going off on the backs of her eyelids–showing the memories and good times she'd had with Paris. It didn't matter that she'd only known him a summer and just a small portion of her school year. None of it mattered except for the fact that Paris was _gone_ and he wasn't coming back–not now, not ever–and she hadn't even had a decent conversation with him in so long. Not just because he had ignored her–but because she'd just been so ignorant of him, being wrapped up in all of the Gryffindor girls and the Marauders, and even Shia and Tyler.

The fact was, he'd barely been gone ten minutes, and her mind was already reeling, her stomach already knotting, her heart already developing a coldness over it because she would never see his sparkling, dark eyes ever again–never have his arm carelessly thrown over her shoulder or have him pull funny faces at her from the other side of the classroom. It was over–_gone._

She didn't know how long she stood there, depending on James for strength, but when she opened her eyes, she was no longer standing in the corridor in front of the Hospital Wing. Her legs were no longer about to give way under her, nor were they standing on solid ground. Instead, she found herself snug under a blanket, a pillow under her head, and cushions all around her.

She stared owlishly around, her eyes adjusting to the brightness of the room, before realizing with a start that she was laying on a couch in the Heads Common Room. She sat up, her knuckles pushing against her eyes in an effort to wipe away the sleep. When she took them away, blinking rapidly, she saw that James was laying on the ground next to the couch, his mouth open in a silent snore, his eyelids fluttering but remaining shut.

Vaguely, she wondered what she was doing here instead of in her dorm, especially with James on the floor, clad in Quidditch gear, though it wasn't his Gryffindor team uniform, and why, looking down, she saw herself in a short skirt and a purple shirt that was not her own. She tried to think back to what happened the day before.

_Hospital Wing..._she frowned, thinking, and backtracked more, _Paris...the Forbidden Forest..._

Her stomach lurched. The realization hit her full force, and although her eyes were dry, her throat was tight. She could barely remember talking to Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madame Pomfrey after she'd cried on James' shoulder, but she knew she had.

James began to stir, and her eyes traveled down to him–he had no blanket, no pillow–just him and the floor.

His eyes opened slowly, narrowing at the bright light that was entering through the window that faced them. He stretched–his long legs extending even more in front of him, his muscular arms held high above his head.

"Hi," Lily said in greeting, and James jumped.

"Merlin, you scared me," he said.

Lily nodded. "Sorry."

He got up slowly, turning so that his back would crack, and Lily winced at the sound. After a moment of silence, he asked, "How are you?"

She wasn't sure if he was asking this out of curiosity or because of Paris, but when his bright yet blurred from sleep hazel eyes looked into her green ones, she could tell that it was a little bit of both. "I'm fine," she said, stifling a yawn. "You know," she continued, trying to play it cool, "the usual."

Yes, the usual. Her friend had just died the night before, but you know, no biggie.

James nodded carefully. "That's good," he commented, though it was in slight confusion since he didn't know if that was the right thing to say.

An awkward silence stretched out before them and Lily played with the hem of her skirt as James sat and watched her. "So, um–ah," she stuttered, avoiding his eyes. She gave up after a second of trying for conversation, realizing that she didn't have much to say.

Instead, James spoke. "I'm sorry for your loss," he told her, but it was even more awkward than it had been before, and though Lily's eyes were dry for now, she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

"Oh," she mumbled. "Yeah."

"I, um," he said, lifting a hand to ruffle his hair. "I talked with Madame Pomfrey. And Dumbledore. More after you left. So, um, you don't need to tell them any more. I, uh, I took care of it."

"Thanks," she whispered.

Lily spent the rest of the day in the Heads Common Room. James kept her company, talking when she needed to talk and keeping quiet when she didn't, and brought her food at meal times. Alyssa, Carmen, Stevie, Addison, and Sophia came to her after lunch, rushing to her side and asking questions and trying to comfort her, but she kept mostly quiet. For some reason–she didn't know why–but she just didn't want to tell them much of anything. She wondered if it was because she didn't think they'd understand, but she was unable to shake off this thought or accept it.

She didn't sleepthat night. Again, she was sleeping on the couch in the Heads Common Room instead of her own dorm, James on the floor next to her only this time with a blanket and a pillow, but even when she heard his breathing even out and she saw the darkness outside become even more dense, sleep would not take her. She knew she needed sleep–she had classes in the morning because, as McGonagall said, 'N.E.W.T.s were at the end of the year and there was no time to be out of class.' Whether she was there or not, though, Lily knew that she wouldn't learn a thing.

**XXX**

Breakfast. She was going to breakfast. She didn't know why–she wasn't hungry, and after all, Paris couldn't eat, so why should she? Once that thought entered her mind, she shook it away. There was no point in thinking like that, but even still, it put her even more off eating that morning.

Especially when everyone would gape at her in the hallways. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach and she knew that everyone else knew that Paris had died and Lily had seen it. Still, they didn't have to _stare_ as if she'd done it herself.

When she finally made it to the Great Hall, she stopped outside the doors. Once she opened them, even more people would be staring. Once she opened them, she'd have to pretend it didn't affect her. Once she opened them, she'd have to hold her head higher than she ever had before.

Except she _couldn't_, and she knew it.

After a second of staring at the doors, she took a sharp right and began to walk fast away. James called out from behind her, but she didn't pay any attention to him. She wasn't ready for this–wasn't ready for any of it.

"Lily!" James called from behind her as she turned again into a deserted hallway. "Lily!" he called again, this time from right behind her, and he reached out to grab her arm, spinning her around to him.

"Lily, it's okay," he said softly, hoping not to scare her.

"No, it's not. I can't do this–I cant."

"You can, I know you can," he answered.

"No–everyone's staring and everyone knows and..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

"I'll be right there," he told her soothingly. "I promise. I'll stay right by your side and I won't leave you." For a second he thought he'd said the right thing, but then her eyes started welling up with tears, and she was pulling at her face in an attempt to stop them from falling.

"I'll be right by your side," he repeated, but that only made the tears fall. "Lily–" he tried, but he didn't know what else to say.

"It's fine," she answered after a second and after her eyes had dried. "I'm fine. Lets...lets go to breakfast."

James nodded slowly, his eyes trained on hers, trying to understand her.

But they went to breakfast anyway, even if James didn't understand what was going on her head. People stared, people talked, people _stopped_ talking, but they both–because everyone knew James had been there too–tried as hard as they could to act like it didn't affect them. They took a seat at the end of the Gryffindor table, piling their plates with food in silence, and once the rest of the Hall realized that nothing exciting was going to happen that morning, they all gradually turned back to what they had been doing before Lily and James had entered.

It was odd, Lily mused as Isabella Brooks squeezed herself between herself and James, that the world kept on turning. That Isabella Brooks still gave her a wave of emotions that she couldn't put into words. That petty questions like _Did I put on my make-up this morning?_ were still able to crop up in Lily's mind as her eyes took in Isabella's perfectly done pencil-work.

"Oh, Jamie!" Isabella cried, making Lily slightly choke on the eggs that were in her mouth. "I was so worried about you when I heard what happened!"

"Er...yeah," James answered awkwardly, eyes darting over to Lily over Isabella's shoulder. Lily kept her face impassive, but her eyes couldn't focus on anything for longer than a second before they moved.

Isabella seemed to be babbling on about something, but James nor Lily was listening, even if she was only addressing James. His eyes were glancing between Isabella and Lily, even though he was nodding to everything Isabella was saying. She didn't seem to notice that his thoughts were preoccupied.

"–So then I was like, uh, _hello_?I think _I_ would know, you know? I mean, it's not like _she's_ pretty or anything, right? With her glasses and–ohmigod! Did you _see_ her hair the other day? That hair is only acceptable after sex but she did it like she it was a _fashion_ statement or something, I was like witch, please. Totally a fashion no-no, okay? And then she tried to–"

"Um, Isabella," James cut in, and her head snapped up to look at him, flinging her hair over her shoulder. James again looked over at Lily, only this time Isabella noticed, and she turned her eyes to Lily like a hawk seeking prey.

"Oh! Hi! It's Lisa, right?" she asked.

Lily looked over at her, startled. "Uh, no." She picked her fork up again to start eating again before realizing Isabella was expecting her to elaborate. "It's Lily."

"Oh, that's pretty!" Isabella cooed, but Lily had a feeling that her smile was just a little too bright.

"Yeah," Lily muttered, not bothering to thank her as she wasn't sure that it was a compliment or a dolled up insult.

"You're the Head Girl, right?"

Lily nodded in response and James shifted awkwardly.

"_Ooh_," Isabella said suddenly, wincing. "That was your friend that died last night, huh?" she asked bluntly.

"Yeah, it was."

"Blower," Isabella commented. "That's too bad."

Lily stared at her blankly. Tact was obviously not Isabella's thing, and, okay, Lily figured Isabella didn't like her, but was she _kidding_? Did she just say it was a _blower_?

James must have noticed Lily's open-mouth stare turning into anger, for he cut in quickly, "Okay, well, Isabella, Lily and I really have to get to class, so I'll just see you later." He kissed Isabella swiftly before picking up his bag and lifting Lily up by the elbow, dragging her out of the Great Hall. Lily's face was still distorted in anger and slight hurt and James didn't let go of her elbow until they were a safe distance away from the Great Hall.

"Did she just–"

"Yes, she did."

"And then she–"

"Yes, she did."

"That little–"

"Yes, I know."

Lily could just picture Isabella sitting in the Great Hall, smiling victoriously, maybe giving an evil cackle and a flip of her hair as two big henchmen came up behind her and laughed with her brutishly until she shrilly yelled at them to shut up and they stopped at once and–

Okay. She wished she'd slept more.

**XXX**

The rest of the day James acted as a sort of body guard, keeping his promise to be there for her. Just like the day before, he knew when to keep quiet and when to speak up. He stayed at her right shoulder the entire day, as if daring someone to come up to them, and Lily–no matter how much she told herself not to, no matter how much she _knew_ she shouldn't–took comfort in it. It was almost...a sense of security. Like he was trying to tell her without words that even though Paris wasn't there anymore, he was. But once those thoughts entered her head, she mentally kicked herself. Who was she kidding? James just felt bad or something. And _he_ was going to be there? Right. He'd proved _that_ one before.

And it didn't really matter anyway, she told herself. Even _if_ James was there, that wouldn't bring Paris back. James couldn't substitute Paris in her life, not only because he had his own space, but because Paris was too unique and just too_ Paris_ to ever be substituted.

She was sitting in her dormitory after dinner that night thinking everything over. It was the first time all day that she hadn't been near James, and for some unknown reason she was missing his presence. Or any presence, really, since the Gryffindor girls sort of shied away from her because they didn't know what to say since their visit the day before hadn't helped Lily in the slightest.

What she really needed was Phoebe and Scarlet. It didn't matter if they said the wrong thing or the right thing, she just knew that if they were there, they'd help.

A sense of loneliness washed over her, and she sniffled back tears. Why was she crying again? It wasn't worth it–crying never did any good. Even still, the tears were starting to fall, and she sniffled once more, trying to bury her head in her pillow.

She heard a squeak from her bed and felt it sag to the side.

"Aw, Lil," she heard Alyssa say softly, pulling Lily into a hug. And much like Lily had with James, she clung to Alyssa for strength, her throat turning scratchy in a failed attempt to keep the tears in. Soon enough, the rest of the girls were piled around on her bed, all trying to sooth her sobs, and although they weren't Phoebe and Scarlet, she had a sneaking suspicion that maybe this was even better.

**AN:** What do you think? Please review! Also, in case I haven't mentioned it, I wrote a oneshot a while ago. Pretty much pure fluff, so please go R&R that too. Thanks:).


	16. Surprise

**AN: **I'm alive! I'm aliiive, when I'm missing youuu. Sorry, couldn't help that. Anybody know who that was, by the way? I'll give you a cookie if you do. Anyways, yes, I am alive. And writing! It's amazing. Some of you may have noticed that I've posted a lot of oneshots--if you haven't go check them out--and that would be because I simply cannot give up writing. And I've been playing with this in my mind for a while, so I figured I'd give it a try now. I wrote a little of it a while ago, but then I took out half of that, and wrote somethign else, but that I don't like that anymore, so I tried to steer it in the direction I wanted to begin with again in here. If that made any sense. So yeah, an update for you, though I can't garauntee the quality. I'm not going to update for a while now, probably, though, just as a fair warning. I'm waiting to get One Tree Hill Season Four, because I don't have cable and I absolutely love that show, so I'm going to be watching that, and then I have midterms in a couple weeks, which is going to suck. Then I really need to go to the gym or practice or something, so that'll take up some time too, not to mention my ner obsesssion with Sirius/OC and just fics in general (though that's always been there). But I think this AN is long enough, so I'll let you get on with the magic! (Not.)

**Disclaimer:** Only the plot and the OC's are mine, thanks.

**Chapter Sixteen: Surprise**

Lily woke the next morning cramped and uncomfortable. Her legs, she assumed, hadn't been moved once the entire night since everyone had fallen asleep on her bed and there wasn't enough room. She toppled over Sophia, who was just barely hanging onto the bed, and fell to the floor with a loud _thump._ Fortunately, no one woke, being too tired from staying up so late the previous night.

A glance at the clock told Lily that she was again in her habit of waking up early, no matter how little sleep she'd gotten. It was five o'clock in the morning.

She sighed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, before slowly trudging her way over to the shower. After taking a fast shower, she slipped on clothes and threw her hair up into a sloppy bun, before grabbing her backpack and quietly leaving the room so she didn't disturb anyone.

The halls were quiet, but she didn't expect any noise to begin with. It was just a relief that there wasn't anyone staring at her–no one whispering, no one ceasing with conversation once she was within hearing distance. It felt good to be _Lily_, not _The Girl That Saw Her Friend Die_.

She entered the Great Hall quietly and saw that it was just Sirius sitting at the Gryffindor table, a few other students sitting at different tables here and there. Even still, Lily felt bad about leaving him alone for an early breakfast the passed couple of days, but she assumed he was used to it.

"Hi," she greeted as she slid into her usual seat across from him.

The newspaper that had been in his hands was slapped down in seconds. "Lily!" he greeted, surprised.

She yawned and nodded her head, scanning the food choices that were on the table before grabbing an apple and taking a large bite.

"How are you?" Sirius asked.

"Tired," she answered through her mouth full of apple. "Didn't get a lot of sleep last night, and then I woke up early for some ungodly reason." She rolled her eyes and took another bite.

"Hey, don't diss the early waker-uppers."

Lily paused. "That makes no sense whatsoever, but I'm not going to comment on it."

He grinned. "Good."

They ate in silence for a few moments, Lily chomping loudly on her apple while Sirius shifted his eggs around his plate. The sense of routine was relieving–the fact that even if it felt like the world had been turned over, there were still little things you could count on, like sharing breakfast with Sirius early in the morning, left her feeling slightly better.

"So.." Lily hesitated, wondering if she should ask, but plowed on anyways. "What happened after James and I left?"

A stunned silence followed her question as Sirius eyed her. She hadn't really been interested in what happened after she had left–she hadn't really been interested with anything at all, but she felt the need to ask.

"Umm," Sirius answered. "Just the prank. Birds."

"Birds?"

"Anyone who drank the punch got turned into a bird," Sirius explained.

"But I–?"

"It only worked when you were in the Great Hall."

Lily whistled. "Complicated magic."

Sirius gave a boyish grin. "Well, I do try."

Lily lifted an eyebrow. "Because it was only you, right?"

Sirius tilted his head back and laughed. "Of course!" he said.

**XXX**

The days fell into weeks and the weeks fell into months. Snow came and melted, but it was still cold enough for more, bringing out scarves and coats and cloaks. The wind was icy and brought red to the tips of noses and ears, cheeks flushed with either laughter or the cold–it was impossible to tell which.

Lily was sitting outside, the day colder than most, the wind more biting than usual, but she didn't mind. It was days like this that made the air smell fresh and the Earth clean.

Her thoughts wandered as she sat under a tree right next to the frozen lake, the wind whipping her scarf and her hair into her face. The shade that the tree bared did little more than make her colder, but it was ignored by the redhead. Her thoughts were on winter break, coming up just the next day. Her mother had written and asked if she'd like to stay at Hogwarts instead of coming home, something Lily definitely hadn't been expecting. Last she'd known, they'd been counting down the days until she could come home and be reunited with the family, but she took the letter as a polite request for her to stay. The only thing she couldn't understand was _why._

Her thoughts were interrupted when someone sat down beside her. She turned her head and instead of seeing one of her friends, she was met with the sight of Severus Snape.

"Hello," he greeted, as if speaking to her was a natural occurrence.

"Hi," she said uncertainly, itching to scoot away from him.

His black eyes settled down on her, and she felt herself involuntarily shiver. They were hard and piercing–for a moment she thought he was seeing right into her soul, leaving a dirty, invaded feeling creeping through her. "You hang around Potter and his lackeys." It wasn't a question, it was stated as a fact.

"Not really, I–"

He didn't let her finish. "They're bad people. The things they do..." he trailed off, his eyes sweeping over the lake, before returned back to hers. "They're not just pranks."

"I hardly think–"

"You don't know," he said, his voice hard, his jaw set.

"Listen, I don't know why you're telling me this, but I think you–"

"You're in danger." He mentioned it like he was commenting on the weather, airily and unconcerned, but somehow it made her feel queasy.

"Of what–James and Sirius and Remus?" she asked dryly.

"No," he stated. "Of Us." She could almost hear the capitalization of the word just by the way he said it, and with that, he got up and walked back to the icy castle.

"What does that mean?" she called after him, but the only response he gave was a swish of his cloak and shutting the door behind him.

Lily thumped her head back onto the tree behind her, rolling her eyes. Thoughts rolled through her head, but she berated herself–to listen to a Slytherin was insane, let alone Snape. Actually considering what he said–not that it had made any sense–would be absurd. She decided to forget it, and slowly hauled herself up and back into the castle as well.

Warm air greeted her and she hungrily accepted it, rubbing her arms to get rid of the goose bumps she hadn't been aware had rose. She took a step farther in and started to make her way towards her dorm.

Or she would have if someone hadn't stepped out in front of her, grabbing her hand, and pulling her down the corridor. She opened her mouth to screech, but she was pulled into a broom closet all too quick. A word was mumbled in the darkness before light appeared from the tip of someone's wand, and at once Lily recognized Alyssa's face.

"Oh, God, Lyss," Lily said, sighing, her shoulders visibly sagging. "You scared me."

Alyssa nodded silently, staring blankly–almost eerily–at Lily.

"Alyssa?" Lily asked. Alyssa didn't answer. "'Lyssa?"

"Yeah?" Alyssa whispered back, and it was then that Lily noted the tears gathering in her lashes.

"Lyss," Lily whispered, coming closer to her friend. "What's wrong?"

Those two words were what broke her. Her tears started falling even faster and she gave a hollow sob. Lily's arms wrapped around her, but it did nothing except make her shake more, the words she tried to speak becoming a mess of jumbled sounds.

"Shh," Lily consoled. "Shh, sweetie, it's alright. It's alright."

"No," Alyssa answered, getting a small handle on her emotions, though tears were still flowing freely. "No, it's not. Not ever again, no, it's not."

"Alyssa," Lily said cautiously. "What...happened?"

She stared into Lily's eyes unwaveringly. ""I have something to tell you," she said, her voice soft. "I..." she hesitated. "I'm pregnant."

Silence.

"You're what?"

"Pregnant," she sighed. The tears seemed to have stopped and she wiped away the tears that were still on her face. Her jaw was now set, and the look was such a contrast of what Lily had seen seconds before that she had to do a double-take to make sure it really was Alyssa still sitting in front of her.

"Who–?"

"Sirius."

"Does he–?"

"No."

"Are you going to–?"

"No."

"Alyssa," Lily warned.

"No," Alyssa said again, her voice hard. "Just...no, alright?"

Lily paused before asking her other question. "When did..."

"Halloween. We...well, yeah. And I didn't know until just a few minutes ago. Soph was complaining about her period, and I realized I hadn't gotten mine in what, three months? And I looked up the spell and I did it and...well. You know the rest."

"Have you told anyone else?"

"No." She shook her head. "Just you."

"Are you gonna?"

"What, tell them? 'Course. I'm just kinda...scared."

"That's okay. You'll get there."

It seemed that getting there was not that hard for Alyssa, because once the girls returned to the dorm, Alyssa simply flung the door open and announced to the room, "Well, girls, I'm pregnant."

Conveniently, all the girls were present. Their reactions were different, though Carmen's was definitely the most encouraging.

"About time one of us got some!" she had exclaimed.

"Sorry, what?" Stevie asked. "I think I just imagined that."

"You don't _look_ pregnant," Sophia said, staring at Alyssa critically.

"Give the girl some room," Addy said. "She's gonna need it," she snorted.

"Gee, thanks," Alyssa said wryly, rolling her eyes.

"I'm just saying–" Addy said.

"Yeah, shut up," Sophia cut in.

It was mere seconds before they were all piled onto Alyssa's bed, talking straight into the night.

**XXX**

Lily's eyes snapped open. Her breathing was ragged, and she could feel the sweat dripping down her brow. She hastily wiped it away, taking a shaky breath, trying to shake the nightmare she'd just had. A glance at the clock told her it was 4:30 in the morning, and instead of going back to sleep, she opted for a shower before getting ready and going down to breakfast, where she knew Sirius would be waiting, as he always was.

On her way down to the Great Hall, her thoughts drifted back to her nightmare.

"_Lily...I think I'm dying."_

"_You're gonna be okay."_

"_He's dead?"_

Lily shook her head, trying to escape from her thoughts. She didn't want to deal with that, not now. It was her last day of classes and then she'd have a whole week and a half to do simply nothing, and that was what she planned on doing.

That is, until she sat down across from Sirius and realized that she was hiding from him that he was going to be a _father_.

"Hey, Lil," he greeted, as ritual, putting down the paper that had seconds before been in front of his face.

She gulped. "Hi," she squeaked.

He sent her an odd look. "You alright?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. Just fine, you know, I was just thinking about...babies."

"Babies?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

_Shit!_

"No, why would I be thinking about that?" She chuckled nervously. "I said...rabies."

He cocked his head. "Why?"

"Oh, you know. I was just reading up on them last night. Fascinating, really."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Right. Well, did you see any Slytherins on your way here?"

"No, why?"

He smirked, but let nothing to show. "Nothing," he answered, "Just curious is all."

Lily groaned. "Sirius Black, what did you do?"

**XXX**

"Sirius Black!" a voice screeched, followed by a loud bang of the Fat Lady's portrait. Classes had just ended, Lily had seconds before been bathing in the delight of it–that is, until she heard that angry screech. Her stomach plummeted, and she counted the seconds until the explosion.

_One...two...three..._

"I cannot _believe_ you!" Boom. Alyssa made her way into the Common Room, her eyes on the lookout for Sirius. Once they landed on her target, who was looking at her with a mix of curiosity and guarded fear, she made her way over to him, her eyes in dangerous slits. "I just saw a Slytherin do some _ballet move_ down the hallway! And when I asked him what the _bloody_ hell he was doing, he said, 'Why, Sirius Black is the best!'"

Sirius smirked. Lily lowered in her seat next to him, and she could see Carmen and Addy come down the stairs from the girls dorm, wondering about the commotion.

"Well," Sirius said, leaning back. "It was pure genius, really–"

"Pure genius? Pure _genius?_"

"Uh-oh..." Addy muttered.

"You really shouldn't have done that, mate," Remus whispered from the chair next to Sirius.

Alyssa didn't even turn her head, but she held her hand up to him and said, "Don't you start with me, Remus John Lupin, because I know there is probably a Slytherin running around saying the same thing about you!"

Remus slumped in his seat, his cheeks tinged with pink, but the small smirk on his face told everyone that Alyssa's assumption was correct.

"Lyss, calm down," Sirius tried, but she effectively cut him off.

"I most certainly will not calm down! Do you have _any idea_ how bloody immature you are? It's like putting up with a two-year-old, for Merlin's sake!"

"What's wrong with two-year-olds?" he asked.

"Sirius, stop while you're relatively ahead," Lily muttered out of the corner of her mouth.

"Lily," Alyssa said, her hands visibly shaking. "Shut up."

"Hey, what did I do?" Lily asked, but with one look she was silenced.

Alyssa rounded back on Sirius. "Do you have any shame whatsoever? Honestly, could you just grow a pair for _three_ seconds and do something like, I don't know, your _homework?_"

"Alyssa, I don't understand the problem," Sirius said, now thoroughly perturbed. "You're usually in our pranks. Why the sudden need for discipline? Is it your time of the month or what?"

_Awkward..._

"I am just so _sick_ of you, Sirius Black!" she screamed, before she burst into tears and ran up to the dormitories.

Silence.

"Hormones," Carmen sang, before jumping back up the steps to go comfort Alyssa, Addy on her tail.

Clatter in the Common Room returned, but silence was still present between Remus, Sirius, and Lily. Remus started whistling a tune, trying to dispel the aftermath of Alyssa's outburst, but Sirius still sat in silence.

"Don't worry about her,"Lily told him. "She's just..." She struggled for the right word, but Remus seemed to have a few handy.

"Mad? Psychotic? Loud? Upset? As Carmen so elegantly put it, hormonal? Troubled? Fur–"

"Alright, Moony, we get the point," Sirius said.

"Well, I should probably go see what's up with her anyways," Lily answered. "I'll catch you guys later." She stood, cracking her back, before walking over to the girls' dormitories steps and making her way up them. When she got to her door, she could hear Alyssa's hysterics inside. She opened the door, but at once regretted it. A glass vase–since when did they have a glass vase anyways?–came close to her head before slamming against the wall behind her.

Needless to say, she slammed the door shut again. Maybe she'd go back later.

**AN:** Review, review, review!


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